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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

NOT to think this woman should be "mom of the year"?

106 replies

ender · 29/04/2015 11:59

Washington Post link
She was upset and angry and lost control, perhaps understandable under the circumstances. But no reason to repeatedly beat her 16 yr old son round the head. It looked like he would have gone home with her without all that.

OP posts:
MsPoodleLover · 01/05/2015 14:05

This mother did what she did for a reason - she cares about her son very deeply. I saw her being interviewed on US tv. If she had not done it she may have been proving what a lovely mum she is at his funeral.

I once did a similar thing with my 15 year old daughter who was continuously leaving school during the day and socialising with her friends in the town centre. I caught her in town early afternoon and I dragged her into school by the hair - I am only 5 foot tall and she was 6 foot tall! The headteacher said to my daughter 'I have about 100 kids in this school who wish they had a mum who cared about them as much as your mother does'. I had left work after the school had called me to let me know she had run out of school. My daughter was bleating on about ringing the police so I rang them and they said 'Oh we wish more parents were like you our job would be much easier. I did it because I cared and needed to show her that she was not running the show. She is 30 now and thanks me! This lady's son will thank her one day. I know it isnt that fashionable now to treat your kids like that but sometimes it is appropriate. I would hate to have young children now because correcting them doesnt seem to happen much (I am talking about verbal correction).

cailindana · 01/05/2015 14:16

I found that video really upsetting. What I could see was a desperate mum panicking and doing whatever she could to stop her son from putting himself in danger. I don't know about mum of the year but it's definitely a feeling I could relate to - the feeling that you'd lop off your own arm if that'd stop something bad happening to your child. Poor woman, she must have been frantic.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/05/2015 16:07

Puzzledandpissedoff - www.vox.com/2015/5/1/8529319/freddie-gray-charges does this help you? his death has been ruled a homicide and charges against the officers involved will include second degree murder, manslaughter and assault.

Mrsjayy · 01/05/2015 16:28

She was quite right i cant imagine him wanting to riot anytime soon mom of the year is jusy a phrase im sure a mum dragged her son out of the London riots toshe saw him on tvand went looking for him i thought good for her.

Mrsjayy · 01/05/2015 16:34

6 babies no dads well there was dads once she isnt the virgin mary is she

OneEyedWilly · 01/05/2015 16:39

I wouldn't say mom of the year but I totally sympathise with her actuons. Imagine the breathtaking fear she must have felt when she realised what he was doing. I'd react the same.

SelfconfessedSpoonyFucker · 01/05/2015 16:49

He had a rock in his hand and was putting himself and others in grave danger. When she first yelled at him and clipped him around the head he did not back down, it was not until she had hit him again several times and yelled a bunch to him that she finally got through to him and he deferred to her.

I think she was a star and saved her son's and possibly a LEOs life.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 01/05/2015 18:00

Thanks for the link ThumbWitchesAbroad - since the trial has yet to be held and the full evidence considered it still doesn't explain how the PPs could have known what went on, but we're probably beyond that now they feel there's enough evidence to charge

If they're found guilty, let's just hope they're dealt with properly and not let off with a slap on the wrist ...

creighton · 01/05/2015 23:10

puzzled you may be keen to give the police the benefit of the doubt which they never give to black people but the information that I repeated was published by the local news organisations and plain to see in the videos taken on the day. sorry but the police officers are as guilty as hell.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 01/05/2015 23:28

Really, Creighton? The videos show the police breaking his spine and murdering him, do they? Perhaps you could link to that ... ?

If there's sufficient evidence to convict I honestly hope those men will never see daylight again, but I just don't possess the sort of manic anti-police bias which leads to condemning them in advance of due process

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/05/2015 01:16

Puzzled - in fairness, there has been a rash of videos available recently showing quite unnecessary police brutality. The UN have apparently got involved as well. It's not that much of a stretch to believe that the police broke Freddy's spine in the process of arresting him - I doubt they meant to, which is why a murder charge is not on the table, but their inaction and delay in getting him treatment would certainly have contributed to his demise.

Have you read the other links on here? Have you read the one where some police depts mark black-on-black incidents as NHI (No Humans Involved)? It doesn't need anti-police bias, they're showing themselves up.

Jobless123 · 02/05/2015 01:41

The whole thing makes me think of The Wire (Baltimore crime drama)

Just watching the sassy new State Attorney proclaiming Freddie Gray's death a homicide is a scene straight out of The Wire.

Of course the next part is within six months she is out of a job or institutionalized.

Jobless123 · 02/05/2015 02:03

Most of the officers involved in the death are black.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/05/2015 03:55

3 black, 3 white. Evens.

PrincessUnicorn · 02/05/2015 04:07

I would be doing the same thing if it was my son or daughter.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/05/2015 09:48

It's not that much of a stretch to believe that the police broke Freddy's spine

FWIW I agree with this (though he didn't appear to be injured at the actual point of arrest - maybe later?) My point, though, is that we can't convict because we believe something might be the case "at a stretch" - there has to be proof, and that involves rather more than "I think x is guilty - so he must be - so he is"

Nobody with any sense would deny there have been some injustices, but it doesn't follow that every other case must be the same; nor can it be denied that to the anti-police frothers, he definition of injustice is simply a verdict they don't like. We can speculate, but to blame anyone for something without real proof is surely unacceptable, whether that's police or general public

creighton · 02/05/2015 10:19

the proof is in the video of the arrest. that is why people are clear that this is a case of murder. the police routinely execute people in the street in America. they have no problem with prejudging a situation and carrying out a sentence without proof or recourse to a trial. people who complain about the police are not frothers rather the police are arrogant testosterone filled bullies who can no longer escape judgement now that everyone has a camera phone.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/05/2015 12:26

According to Reuters 3 hours ago: Mosby said the fatal injury occurred after the van stopped to allow officers to shackle Gray's legs and put him back inside Surely if it happened during the video of his arrest she'd have said so?

Obviously I don't know any more than anyone else, but there seems to be some uncertainty over when exactly Gray received his injuries. Yes he yelled and dragged his legs when first pulled towards the van, but was that because he was injured or simply because he didn't want to go?

As I said, hopefully this will all become clearer during the trial ...

Yeasayer · 02/05/2015 13:26

Her kid was dressed in riot gear about to go looting....I think a clout round his ear is the least of his worries. Her actions against his intent is pretty well balanced IMO. And a single mum of 6.....wow!

Awadebumbo · 02/05/2015 13:40

Here's a report detailing Freddie's injuries how did he sustain them if not through the actions of the officers who arrested him?

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/05/2015 15:39

Awadebumbo - you haven't linked a report

Awadebumbo · 02/05/2015 15:49

Apologies curse my iPhone thinkprogress.org/health/2015/05/01/3653797/how-did-freddie-gray-die/

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/05/2015 16:11

Thanks, yet more interesting reading. Not looking good for the police in that case.

Puzzled - I do see what you're saying, really I do. And you're right, this should all come out in the trial. Hopefully justice will be served.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 02/05/2015 16:37

It's reported that Gray had suffered lead poisoning, and apparently lead can cause bone weakness. I'm no medic, but I'm just wondering if this somehow contributed to the injury? Obviously some trauma was involved, but could it be that the effects were greater than they'd have been in someone unaffected by the lead?

As I say I have no professional knowledge of these things - but hopefully it will be considered along with everything else