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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

NOT to think this woman should be "mom of the year"?

106 replies

ender · 29/04/2015 11:59

Washington Post link
She was upset and angry and lost control, perhaps understandable under the circumstances. But no reason to repeatedly beat her 16 yr old son round the head. It looked like he would have gone home with her without all that.

OP posts:
MonstrousRatbag · 29/04/2015 13:14

Naan's link is appalling.

One of the stories in the link is about Richard Weaver, an 83 year old man wandering around threatening people with a machete. Frightening and dangerous, obviously. The newspaper report says:

"an officer ordered Weaver to put down the machete, but he did not comply, officials said. Weaver raised his machete and made an aggressive move toward the officer, officials said.

The officer then shot Weaver, who pronounced dead at the scene."

Here, the officers first on the scene would almost certainly not be armed. They'd cordon off the area and try to talk him down. In fact, in these situations they seem routinely to wait it out, for long hours if necessary, while keeping the offender kettled in one area. People get tired and hungry and the anger goes out of them. And then you move in and get the weapon.

In so many US reports I read, where the offender or suspect is black and/or poor and/or mentally ill, shooting seems to be the first, not last, resort. And that does say something about how their lives are regarded in that society. Not very much if at all, in summary.

Feminine · 29/04/2015 13:14

Of course she did the right thing.
The police would have killed him.

ender · 29/04/2015 13:19

I wasn't suggesting she should have had a reasoned discussion with him pointing out the error of his ways.
Just perhaps a swift clip round the ear then grab his arm and march home rather than repeated blows to his head and screaming abuse.
But as others have said, I'm not in her shoes.

OP posts:
LadyDeadpool · 29/04/2015 13:41

An officer in America shot an unarmed black man in the back 6 times he also missed twice then he handcuffed the dead man and said he tried to resist arrest video shows the man running from the officer when he was shot. This sadly is becoming common. She was afraid, she had good reason to be afraid and I cannot honestly say I wouldn't react the same way in her shoes and fearing for my childs life.

On Reddit people living in the city were reporting what was happening they described sleeping with guns beneath their pillows they're so afraid, people banging on their doors and a haze of smoke across the city from all the fires. We should count ourselves lucky that we are not in a position to judge. People are scared and scared people aren't rational.

OfaFrenchMind · 29/04/2015 14:05

Creighton How many rioters in the street yesterday? How many policemen hurt? How many shop owners? How many journalists?
And now, how many black persons killed yesterday? Speak up! Tell us all about the murdering happening right now!

AuntyMag10 · 29/04/2015 14:14

Yabu she did what she felt she needed to do. He deserved it. Lol at sitting him down to talk about his feelings.

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/04/2015 14:15

She isn't "mom of the year", but in that moment she was the mum that her son needed her to be.

Charlotte3333 · 29/04/2015 14:22

MY DCs are 9 and 4 so I can't even begin to imagine the situation this Mum was in, nor the emotions that she experienced seeing her child putting himself in harms way like that. She doesn't deserve the attacks she's had in the press. She deserves a child that has more sense of self-preservation and less idiocy.

bachsingingmum · 29/04/2015 14:24

I read an article recently about police attitude to black people in the US. Apparently they have an acronym for cases they can't be bothered investigating, usually black on black crimes: NHI, no human involved. Appalling. Best country in the world my foot!

butterflyballs · 29/04/2015 14:34

She did what she needed to do. Maybe more parents should be out there dragging their kids home too.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/04/2015 14:34

OMFG, that link!! 90 killed by police this month alone! (ok, 87 if you take the corrected date ones out but still) And age is no protection - one was 79!

She might not be mom of the year, but my God I'd be out there too, and I have no doubt that it was fear that drove her to behave like that to get him out of there before it was too late for him.

Too easy to say "I wouldn't have brought my sons up like that" - I'm sure that most of the women in the tough neighourhoods DON'T bring their sons up to join anti-police riots or gangs or whatever - but that doesn't stop it happening. They're their own people.

Bachsinging - that really does just say it all about how some people still view other races in the USA, doesn't it. Bloody appalling. :( Angry

FlyingPirate · 29/04/2015 14:35

She got her son to safety by any means possible. He was in danger and she very likely saved his life. I agree with pp, 'mom of the year' or not, she was the mom he needed her to be whether he realises it or not.

I'm utterly horrified by NHI Shock

NotYouNaanBread · 29/04/2015 14:36

To be fair, the police aren't exactly machine-gunning down the protesters. They know that all hell really would break loose if even one black life were to be lost during these protests (or white, for that matter).

She wasn't actively afraid he'd be shot and killed, she was afraid that he would be hurt, or arrested and have his future blighted by a criminal record.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/04/2015 14:39

She also probably thought "I didn't bring you up to behave like that"

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 29/04/2015 14:41

Following the murder of Michael Brown in Ferguson, I read the most amazing article on the Black Moms Talk and how these women have to raise their sons differently because they are black.

I think it illustrates the fear this woman must have felt in that moment and explains her actions quite well.

Joyfulldeathsquad · 29/04/2015 14:45

I think it illustrates the fear this woman must have felt in that moment and explains her actions quite well

Absolutly .

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/04/2015 14:51

Jeez, that article is heartbreaking. And shocking as hell.

ShesAStar · 29/04/2015 15:00

She did the right thing, she saw her son in a dangerous situation, she got to him as fast as she could and did all she could to make him see how bad a situation he had put himself in.

The amount of black men shot by police in America as terrifying, I don't understand how in a 'civilised' country this is happening. They shouldn't be allowed to carry guns, tazers or maybe rubber bullets??

Morelikeguidelines · 29/04/2015 15:15

I don't believe in smacking at all but think this mum did a good thing.

It is hardly like walloping a small child, plus she did what she needed to to get him out-of danger.

Morelikeguidelines · 29/04/2015 15:17

I don't think any one person is mom of the year!

Moreisnnogedag · 29/04/2015 16:45

Bloody hell. NHI?? That sounds like something from the height of apartheid. I can't imagine how it must feel to be the mother of an African American man in the US. Such fear in what is meant to be a leading first world country.

Nayville · 29/04/2015 16:56

She did what she had to do to get her son out of danger. Given the circumstances her actions are very understandable

The Mom of the Year thing is stupid in relation to anyone, all mothers are trying their best after all.

Nayville · 29/04/2015 16:57

Morelike I swear I didn't see your comment but have somehow managed to copy some of it almost word for word Confused

BarbarianMum · 29/04/2015 17:03

She did the right thing.

And as for him? I can understand the anger tbh. Intellectually I can see that rioting is wrong but then I think 'but what was he supposed to do instead?'

The lives of black people, esp young black men, appear to be totally disposable in the US. That's wrong. But who would even listen to him if he complained? And what would change?

HighwayDragon · 29/04/2015 17:28

I've seen this a few times about this story, v.funny meme

NOT to think this woman should be "mom of the year"?
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