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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask if anyone have 2 DC in full time nursery in London?

51 replies

PennyJennyPie · 27/04/2015 13:36

...because we have just done the calculation ahead of DC2's arrival and essentially a 50K pa income will not cover it.

To clarify, the lowest paid of us is on 50K, and after calculating the nursery costs for the year when both DC1 and 2 will need a full time nursery, it is more than that.

Neither of us are keen on being a SAHP and we have no family to do any childcare. Arguably, we have also not chosen the cheapest nursery, but rather one where we feel comfortable with DS spending 5 days a week. We also very much prefer a nursery setting rather than childminder.

AIBU to feel punished because we both want to work and have children? How do other people do this?

OP posts:

dietcokeandwine · 27/04/2015 13:38

Would you consider a nanny OP?

We are in the SE and have friends in London. I have to say I don't know anyone (despite knowing several couples where both work full time) who put two DC into nursery. They all pretty much exclusively go down the nanny route once they have had a second child.

TiggieBoo · 27/04/2015 13:45

I had 2 in nursery in London. Nursery fees were £2000/month, which means a salary of about 30k-odd to pay for it. It's a lot of money, but not nearly as much as you are looking at spending. Maybe shop around a bit more.

gabsdot45 · 27/04/2015 13:45

You're not being punished at all. You admit there are cheaper options. You made a decision to have a child with that choice comes consequenses and expensive child care is one of them.
You can't really complain, Creches and nurseries are businesses after all.

kewtogetin · 27/04/2015 13:54

Well it's a bit late to be doing the calculation now isn't it?! Why didn't you work all this out before so it wouldn't have come as such a shock?
Look at getting a full time nanny instead, far more flexible.

selly24 · 27/04/2015 15:56

I would definitely look at a nanny ..

Doingakatereddy · 27/04/2015 16:03

Please don't tell me you think you should get benefits...

BikeRunSki · 27/04/2015 16:04

If you're already a working parent, nursery fees shouldn't be a surprise!

Nursery fees outstripping salaries is hardly news, anywhere in the country.

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 27/04/2015 16:05

We couldn't have afforded it - we have a large age gap between DC...

susiey · 27/04/2015 16:06

We got a nanny because of this!

TheBoov · 27/04/2015 16:10

Nanny!

Blinkinwinkin · 27/04/2015 16:11

ditto. We went down the nanny route when no 2 came along. I wish we'd done that for the 1st, with hindsight. Our family was a far less stressful place with a great nanny, than with the stress of the juggle of drop offs and pick ups.

toomuchtooold · 27/04/2015 16:12

I had 2 DC in nursery together in London - would second the estimate of needing a 30k salary to break even, and we were very happy with our nursery (in Croydon, so probably not the most expensive esp for the quality of care.) I thought it was a steal - looking after 2 under 3 was far harder than my job and when you consider they also feed them and pay rent on the building, the nursery workers are being paid less than they really deserve. True of so many caring jobs.

MrsKoala · 27/04/2015 16:19

I'm not in London but am SE, i would need to gross 45k to break even on childcare and that doesn't cover the £500 a month I would also need for fares.

However, we knew this before ds1 so never planned on me going back to work.

OracleofDelphi · 27/04/2015 16:24

not in London, but on south coast and for my two to go to a child minder (15months apart) it was £1200 per month, so can well believe London is more. However, from your OP it seems like it is only like that for 1 year? If this is the case and neither of you want to be SAHP, then is it something that you can stomach just for that year? if not then as others have suggested nanny, or part time nursery, part time childminder / nanny?

Or could both of you go down to 4 days a week for that one year? So you could not work Friday and DH could not work Monday, so you would only be paying for childcare for the 3 full days instead? There must be a way you cna make it work especially if its only for 1 year......

Heels99 · 27/04/2015 16:25

Nanny.

In what way are you being "punished"? You want to use a service that has a high cost attached. Its like buying an expensive car and not wanting to buy insurance or tax. You can choose to use a different less expensive option. Childcare costs will go down not up eg free hours when turn 3.
Don't forget childcare vouchers. That is a tax saving.

MrsMcColl · 27/04/2015 16:27

That's why I timed my DC2 for after DC1 had started school - couldn't have afforded two at FT nursery or a nanny.

TwoLittleTerrors · 27/04/2015 16:28

Well like others says if you already have one in nursery you should know how much it will cost. Unless ofc you have twins.

Not in London but I nursery here is also over £1k a month for one full time. I can cover two because I take home more than £2k per month. But I chose to have two further apart so DD1 will be in school before I return to work after second maternity leave. I know many who have 3-4 year gaps.

TwoLittleTerrors · 27/04/2015 16:31

I think someone already calculated that it's £30k pa to take home £2k month. So not £50k. You can also reduce pension contribution for a year. It's a much smaller hit than giving up your job long term.

Nolim · 27/04/2015 16:38

Yes op. Apparently having 2 working parents and 2 small dc is a luxury. It is ridiculous that working is unaffordable for some parents.

Seriouslyffs · 27/04/2015 16:38

I've been on Mumsnet for tooo long and this is the first time I've thought
why are you having children? I didn't think I had a prejudice against nurseries, but reading this it appears I do- the thought of 2 in 5 days/ week, with their parents resenting the cost has made me sad.
Please tell me the mother will be taking a decent maternity leave with the elder child at home for some of the time.

TheWildRumpyPumpus · 27/04/2015 16:39

We paid 16k a year for one DC full-time in a Canary Wharf. We moved before DC2 arrived to the suburbs and had much cheaper and a more homely nursery setting which was great.

You should be able to find quality childcare much cheaper than you have been quoted. If I were looking at paying that much I'd get myself a nanny as it will be more flexible and adaptable to your working hours.

Nolim · 27/04/2015 16:48

Seriouslyffs: what bothers you about 2dc in nursery? Plenty of ppl work and use some form of paid childcare. And some of those decide to have more than one dc.

EvaBeaver · 27/04/2015 16:53

Seriouslyffs are you for real?

"Please tell me the mother will be taking a decent maternity leave with the elder child at home for some of the time"

The OP has said that neither of them is keen on being a SAHP.

Regardless of whether you agree with parents working, why the hell should 'the mother' be the one to make the career sacrifice?

InterOuta · 27/04/2015 16:54

Nanny

Seriouslyffs · 27/04/2015 16:57

Nolim I'm not sure- I think it's the fact there's 2 of them and it's full time. I used a very central London nursery for my 3- but I can't think of many who were in there 5 days/week, and certainly the fees meant that a nanny was a more sensible option.
I guess I'm saying that I'm surprised at my visceral reaction to the thread and though I didn't think I felt so strongly that home based childcare is better.

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