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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you what you TRUTHFULLY think when you see a 'young' and 'healthy looking' person on a mobility scooter?

252 replies

fassbender · 27/04/2015 10:16

I have multiple sclerosis and am 36 years old. Over the past year my walking has got worse (I use crutches) and I am now thinking that I need a mobility scooter. It sounds silly, but I am so nervous! I know that I should have a 'screw what everyone else thinks' attitude, but I think that I am going to feel self conscious. I live in a small town and have been well until recently so I know that I might get lots of questions/pitying looks. I also wonder what people will think if they see me at the park, for example, and then I get out of the scooter to play with the kids, then get back in to go home.

OP posts:
blankgaze · 27/04/2015 15:17

Not read all the thread but seriously, who would have one if they didn't need it? Not exactly a fashion must have statement piece, are they? Please, don't pay any attention to any ignoramuses who may give you a funny look, they are just not worth bothering with.

Take no notice, use my stock phrase if they say 'You don't look disabled' then you reply 'Well you don't look stupid'

If it makes your life easier, use it, it's what they are for Smile

MewlingQuim · 27/04/2015 15:18

I would assume you had a disability of some kind.

I work in a hospital so I am used to seeing all sorts of people in wheelchairs and scooters, I have never seen someone using one and thought they were just being lazy. Plenty of people have disabilities that mean they can walk, but not far, and if a wheelchair or scooter helps to get out and about then go for it get a motorbike one Grin

ThingummyJigg · 27/04/2015 15:23

I would think 'there's someone who can't walk well/far' - if I thought anything at all.

Also I wouldn't blink an eye if you got off it and parked it outside to go into a shop.

Ev1lEdna · 27/04/2015 15:24

I probably wouldn't think anything of it, in that I'd assume you had a reason and it was none of my business anyway. I hope you aren't worried about people judging you - why you are using a mobility scooter is no one's business but your own.

RonaldMcDonald · 27/04/2015 15:31

I don't think anything tbh
My mum is a wc user and we have had long tussle over a scooter

Hope you are finding it good and helpful

IcaMorgan · 27/04/2015 15:31

I use a powered wheelchair and tend to find people judge less if you use a wheelchair rather than a scooter as a lot of people with scooters leave them outside places for hours so can get around for long periods whereas people in wheelchairs stay in them (this is what I've been told). It's also easier using a powered wheelchair for getting on buses etc as some scooters are not allowed due to size and the same for getting into shops etc so I would recommend the wheelchair rather than a scooter

WonderingWillow · 27/04/2015 15:44

I would feel sorry that they were having to use it at such an age, if I even thought anything at all. They're pretty commonplace now.

Why do you ask? Surely you don't think anyone would have anything to judge for? What would they judge about? The... colour of it?

MistressDeeCee · 27/04/2015 15:46

I wouldnt think anything. Its never ever registered in my brain to even notice whether a person on a mobility scooter looks healthy or not, ,to be honest.

howabout · 27/04/2015 15:47

My DH has MS and we borrow scooters when out and about to save needing to have a scooter and 3 DC compatible car. Kids love when he can keep up with them. I prefer it when I can keep tabs on him ;).
We got far more funny looks when we had a "posh" car and DCs and use disabled parking tbh! Always plenty of shamed face judgy pants when he gets out of car and people realise he can barely put one foot in front of the other. When we use the manual wheelchair he used to get out to help push it up steep bits - not able for this anymore but it did cause amusement. He has had funny looks for being in the playpark in charge of DC. However overall response is one of respect that he is getting on with life in spite of his illness - especially from other men.
My advice is to do everything you can to get the most from life and 20+ years living with MS teaches life is for living in the now and way too short for embarassment and being limited by others.

IHaveBrilloHair · 27/04/2015 15:48

Just this weekend I have gone from wheelchair to walking, back to chair, to energetically dancing, I am passed caring what anyone thinks.

Nibledbyducks · 27/04/2015 16:44

I'd assume you had a hidden disability, then I would probably feel a bit jealous if I was having a bad day , (I have ME fibro and hyper mobility), and then I'd go into my normal internal rant about why they're all black ir metalic red and why you can't get purple ones!Smile

WestEast · 27/04/2015 16:47

I would probably not even notice, just make sure I wasn't in your way. But if I did I would probably think you needed it for some reason that is precisely none of my business Smile

Muskey · 27/04/2015 16:52

Given my mil had one and she was a nightmare with it . I have developed a bit of a please dont drive in the middle of the road with it attitude. But I very rarely look to see who is using them and if I do like many pp I would assume that you were using the scooter because you had limited mobility.

Skinnydecafflatte · 27/04/2015 17:04

I haven't read the thread but I'd just think it was unfortunate that you need one at young age but that's about it. My dad has MS and uses one and it's givien him a whole new lease of life and independence. He couldn't be without it.
Also my DS (5) loves riding with his grandad on it and I reckon other kids would strangely be jealous.

Get one OP it'll be the best thing you can do both for you and your family.

daughterofliz · 27/04/2015 17:10

I would probably be mildly curious wondering what sort of disability you had (because I've known people with various disabilities and I'd wonder if it was the same as one of them), but I certainly wouldn't assume you didn't really need the scooter!

Incidentally, I once saw a youngish woman with a scooter getting on a bus I was on, and it seemed as if she couldn't walk at all - she had a lot of trouble manoeuvring the scooter into the wheelchair space, but getting off didn't seem to be an option. Before that, I would also have assumed anyone with a scooter could walk a bit.

MagnificentFour About 20 years ago I saw a man in a wheelchair who was supposed to be boarding a plane in another country, and it turned out he couldn't walk at all and the only way onto the plane was up the steps! There was a mad panic among the staff and they eventually managed to get him up with two people walking alongside him supporting him from the sides, and someone else behind literally lifting up his feet and putting them on the next step. It must have been horrible for him! Luckily at the other end of the journey the getting off process was a lot more accessible. I can only assume that when he'd made his booking the airline had assumed, like in your example, that he could walk a bit.

LineRunner · 27/04/2015 17:12

Done their back in? I have, and it's tough.

KittyandTeal · 27/04/2015 17:12

I'd assume you have an invisible disability. I'd also probably think that it was good you had the energy to play with your kids, that sounds really patronising but I can't word it any better.

popcornpaws · 27/04/2015 17:14

I don't think anything,apart from if they are using it they must need it.

TedAndLola · 27/04/2015 17:15

I might briefly wonder what hidden disability they have but normally I wouldn't think anything at all except "am I in their way?".

LurkingHusband · 27/04/2015 17:17

About 20 years ago I saw a man in a wheelchair who was supposed to be boarding a plane in another country, and it turned out he couldn't walk at all and the only way onto the plane was up the steps!

MrsLH has experienced this - albeit "correctly". They wait till the plane is empty (disabled always board first and leave last) and then strap the person to a very slim specialist sack trolley that can go between the aisle. It's then manhandled down to ground. Looks (and apparently feels) terrifying.

WyrdByrd · 27/04/2015 17:17

Providing you were driving it sensibly I wouldn't think anything of it.

shouldigetascooter · 27/04/2015 17:19

She spoilt if for us, she makes me think others are judging me on her!

To ask you what you TRUTHFULLY think when you see a 'young' and 'healthy looking' person on a mobility scooter?
oddfodd · 27/04/2015 17:23

My neighbour is about your age and has a mobility scooter. I think nothing of it other than that she has a disability.

Alisvolatpropiis · 27/04/2015 17:24

I wouldn't really think anything, "need it for one reason or another" I suppose, if I thought anything.

SargeantAngua · 27/04/2015 17:38

Try a shopmobility one first and see how you feel? Im 31 and have ME, and I took a shopmobility scooter for a spin for a few weeks ago. Having been mostly housebound for a couple of years the freedom was wonderful. I didn't do much - mostly a circuit of the shopping centre and into M&S for tea and hot cross bun with my Mum :-) Didn't get any funny looks, didn't run anyone over, and had one lady about my age approach me and ask me about hiring them because she was trying to persuade her elderly father to try one, so I must have looked relaxed and approachable. Mum thought she'd be self conscious and find it strange, but apart from walking in front of me sometimes she didn't mind it.

I would love to get my own, but can't find one that I'd be able to get into my car alone for storage (I live in a 1st floor flat). A friend took the passenger seat out of my car a couple of weeks ago though so I'm going to try a home demo of a couple to see if I can get them/broken down parts in that space as it's much lower and more accessible than the boot. Think about the logistics first - there are loads of different shapes and sizes and levels of portability to choose from.