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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you what you TRUTHFULLY think when you see a 'young' and 'healthy looking' person on a mobility scooter?

252 replies

fassbender · 27/04/2015 10:16

I have multiple sclerosis and am 36 years old. Over the past year my walking has got worse (I use crutches) and I am now thinking that I need a mobility scooter. It sounds silly, but I am so nervous! I know that I should have a 'screw what everyone else thinks' attitude, but I think that I am going to feel self conscious. I live in a small town and have been well until recently so I know that I might get lots of questions/pitying looks. I also wonder what people will think if they see me at the park, for example, and then I get out of the scooter to play with the kids, then get back in to go home.

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 27/04/2015 12:00

Great post Should

I never really twigged about the concentration making me tired. We went to the Zoo recently, it was incredibly busy and I came home totally frazzled with the effort of not running over any excited, giddy children. I didn't see much either, because everyone happily stood in front of me. Still, at least the scooter means I can do these sort of days out.

CrapBag · 27/04/2015 12:10

I will suck it up mrsjay. Ultimately it is more important to me that I enjoy a day out with my children over what some narrow minded strangers think of me. Grin

Mrsjayy · 27/04/2015 12:10

You know loosing the mobility you have is pretty rubbish isnt it you feel all sorts of things its difficult to accept but surely being able to get about trumps those feelings

Mrsjayy · 27/04/2015 12:13

Good girlie crapbag will be worth it although you might end up being a dumping ground for bags coats cameras drinks bottles sigh

Original poster
fassbender · 27/04/2015 12:13

shouldigetascooter thanks, it helps to now that other people feel the same and you put it into words wonderfully! I was well for so long (almost 20 years) that it really feels a bit like 'the end', though I know it isn't. I like the idea of stickers too. Thank you to all that have replied, I really appreciate it x

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 27/04/2015 12:20

Ha yes to being the dumping ground. And your youngest will try and jam on, claiming they are tired. And then they will beg to be allowed to steer for a bit where no one is around, and put you in fear of your life. Shock
"It's not a toy DS."
"But it is Mum."

flanjabelle · 27/04/2015 12:20

I would assume that you had a hidden disability and would not judge you in the slightest. my train of thought would probably be, hmm I wonder what's wrong, I hope she's ok, isn't it good that mobility scooters help people get about. That's if I even gave it any thought at all, it would need to be a pretty boring day for it to even register tbh.

MummyZelle1 · 27/04/2015 12:37

Hey,yeah most people are right we would just think it was a hidden disability,not that its anyones business and I can understand you feeling a bit put off going on one when you appear to friends/neighbours as perfectly healhty,i hope you aren't on benefits or have any enemies who would ''DOB'' you in......Jokes get on it :)

SpinDoctorOfAethelred · 27/04/2015 12:42

  1. I would take it for granted that you needed it. Mobility scooters aren't handed out like sweeties, and I can't imagine anyone using them if they didn't need them. I've never been anywhere that would be easier to get around on a mobility scooter than it would be as a fit and healthy pedestrian. Missing dropped kerbs, potholes, uneven tarmac, cars parked half on the pavement, the list goes on.

  2. Then I would check my position to try to work out whether I was in your way.

BadgersBum · 27/04/2015 12:45

My best friend's mum got diagnosed with MS at the age of 33, so I wouldn't really think anything of it.

W0rldCrashing · 27/04/2015 12:46

I would notice and I would assume you needed the scooter for a valid reason. Other than that, I'd make sure I stayed out of you'd way (in a nice way - giving you enough room etc!) and think nothing more of it.
Flowers

Bogeyface · 27/04/2015 12:48

There is a young lad (well, younger than me, probably in his 30's!) that uses one that has had some name calling, lazy fucker, get a job etc. He had a spinal injury years ago and although he can walk, its very difficult for him. He used to use a wheelchair but hated it and much prefers the scooter as its quicker.

Before I knew him then I admit I would probably have thought "Why does he need that?!" for which I am ashamed, and am glad I know better now.

TheMagnificientFour · 27/04/2015 12:52

CrapBag not sure if that would help but I actually found that people expecting someone in a wheelchair been able to walk is also quite common.

Cue: the panic from the crew when boarding and a woman in a wheelchair stated clearly 'NO she couldn't walk at all' when the crew told her to walk 3 meters to go to her seat (This was the closest seat to the door...).
I don't think they ever found themselves in that situation Confused
I did notice though that a few fellow passengers were quite moany about it...

fassbender at the end of the day, people stare for lots of different reasons. You can't stop them but you can decide that they are all wrong Grin.
From people around me, the hard bit about getting a scooter like this was about the person accepting she was incapacitated enough to need a scooter, ie that they were 'disabled' or 'ill' enough. That's never an easy thing to accept.

NellysKnickers · 27/04/2015 12:53

I would for a fleeting moment think poor thing, they seem so young to have to use one but then I would go about my day and not give it another thought. If you need one, use it, try to ignore any nasty/negative comments, some people are just idiots.

TheMagnificientFour · 27/04/2015 12:54

lol at being the dumping ground for coats and cameras etc...
I've seen that happening too.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 27/04/2015 12:55

I would assume you had MS and would feel sorry for you and silently send you good wishes for a long and healthy life. If I caught your eye I would smile and say hello. I suspect it's like having a dog or a baby - you are somehow opened up to strangers saying hello!

fedupnorthernmum · 27/04/2015 13:07

I went to Disney in Florida last year and had to hire one as I have had a partial amputation of my foot. I am a fit and healthy 45 year old but cant walk for any distance and knew that I would not be able to keep up with everyone without damaging my foot. The first day it was awful and I did feel really self conscious, however that feeling soon fades when you realise how you can do the things you want to do and free of pain! Do it, people realise that you are in one because you need it.

SingingHinnies · 27/04/2015 13:09

Haven't got a problem with it, my dd was knocked over by a pissed OAP on a scooter, im more worried about the ones i see parked up outside the local boozers and betting shops TBH

WeePoppy · 27/04/2015 13:10

I am 36 too and I have ME and a string of associated illnesses. I can walk, but not far and not fast. Some days I can go under my own steam, some days I need a walking stick, some days I need a wheelchair. I get a lot of "but you don't look ill" and "but I saw you out and about only last week". They don't see me when I am at my lowest because on these days I'm stuck at home. Very few people understand the nature of invisible illnesses and how it can affect every aspect of our lives unfortunately. I totally understand how you feel about having to use a mobility scooter but at the end of the day, it is going to improve your quality of live dramatically so I would say go for it. The people who care for you will understand, the other ones don't matter.

Ketchuphidestheburntbits · 27/04/2015 13:30

Op, go for it! My mobility scooter has changed my life as I was barely leaving the house before I had it due to spinal problems. I can now go shopping, go to the park and even go on holiday these days.

If anyone makes a comment about 'you look too young to be disabled' I find saying something like 'ooh my skin cream and hair dye are working then!' usually shuts them up.

It's far more common for another disabled person shuffling along with a stick or walking frame to ask how easy they are to use, or whether I found it has helped me rather than negative or nasty comments.

BeyondDoesBootcamp · 27/04/2015 13:36

I'm 29, i have one :)

BeyondDoesBootcamp · 27/04/2015 13:38

I feel paranoid using it (much more so than in my chair), but have never had one negative comment

Saltybutterandjam · 27/04/2015 14:19

Id think what a shame to be in one so young AND THEN Id briefly wonder had you nicked it. BlushGrin

This is cos my dad has one and he left it at our house one night and I took DS1 to the chippy on it for a treat!Blush

VerticalCheese · 27/04/2015 14:44

Same as others, I think my immediate thought might be m.e because I've been affected by it and know we can look perfectly fine and even get up and walk a little but then suddenly we cant go on.

I was once so ill I could barely walk/speak etc with a horrible virus or flu or some such but needed to do a basic shop. I live alone with dd and don't drive (and not sure I could have) but had an acquaintance who could drop me off before work at the supermarket and pick me up in a few hours on his mid morning break. That's the only time I've used a scooter. I found everyone polite and no one stared or anything (except smiling at 2 year old dd in my lap)

I don't think anyone is judging you here, and anyone who did stare just ignore them. You don't owe them a justification of your need of a scooter. Your health is no ones business but your own.

FenellaFellorick · 27/04/2015 14:55

I would think that they needed a mobility scooter.

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