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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell DD to get over it (PE related)

92 replies

RachyMumUk · 26/04/2015 22:14

Got some views over in Secondary yesterday but DD is still moaning.

Dance in PE is done in bare feet at her school (as it was at ours). I've not problem with this but now she has started moaning (all weekend!) that the teacher should take her shoes and socks off too......

I've told her to get over it but she is still going on about how "unfair it all is"

Do I tell her to get over it or does she have a point?

OP posts:

mountainofdreams · 26/04/2015 22:17

Tell her to get over it!!

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 22:17

What is she worried about? I hate taking my shoes and socks off unless I can wash my feet, so I don't really blame a teenager for not wanting to. Someone telling me to "get over it" probably wouldn't help tbh.

chairmeoh · 26/04/2015 22:17

Tell her to get over it.

What does she want you to do? Go speak to the Head to get the teacher told to take her shoes and socks off?

VelvetRose · 26/04/2015 22:20

Crikey! That's a lot of fuss over something very small! Fwiw I always have bare feet if the children I'm teaching have bare feet because I don't want to tread on their toes in heavy shoes. I teach infant school pupils though.

soverylucky · 26/04/2015 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

RachyMumUk · 26/04/2015 22:21

Not sure whether her issue is being barefoot or the teacher not being barefoot iyswim.

It hasn't bothered her in the past (or at least she hasn't said so) - must admit I remember our dance and gymnastics in bare feet were not my favourite PE time!

OP posts:

balletgirlmum · 26/04/2015 22:24

Assuming that school PE dance is based around contemporary or she doesn't want to shell out ££££s for specialist dance shoes she needs to get over it.

Dd does modern & contemporary in bare feet at her specialist school, her shoes for other genres cost a fortune.

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 22:25

Ask her what it is. If it's paranoia about smelly feet (like me) then offer her some wet wipes so she can clean her feet before she starts. If it's about the teacher not having the same rules, then I actually agree it isn't fair, but life isn't fair sometimes, so you can empathise and maybe offer an example of something where your boss is allowed to do something you aren't.

daffsandtulips · 26/04/2015 22:26

I'd say she simply doesn't like doing PE. She will find any excuse not to do it. I was the same. I did need to get over it though.

Original poster

RachyMumUk · 26/04/2015 22:30

She likes PE - in fact she is quite sporty (netball team, hockey team). Never complained about dance before which is what is so strange.

I know that some teenagers can be funny about taking socks and shoes off (we were!) but she's never bothered before.

The more I think about it though the more I think the teacher should probably set the example (not going to tell the school that though!!)

OP posts:

daffsandtulips · 26/04/2015 22:36

Why on earth should the teacher set the example? YABU The kids are there to do as theyre told. My son started this and I explained to him in no uncertain terms to do what they tell him. He's the child and theyre in charge.

CalleighDoodle · 26/04/2015 22:36

Erm no. The teacher does not have to do the same as the children. what next?! Teachers not allowed to wear makeup?

Ballet teachers often dont wear ballet shoes. They have a special ballet teacher shoe. And the teacher will not be dancing the routine with the class, she will be demonstrating in bits and watching them. Do they definitely have to be bare foot? At my school they can rither be bare foot (most are) or ballet shoes.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 26/04/2015 22:37

Blimey, that's a minor complaint, OP. I remember being forced out onto a snowy field in just knicker shorts to play hockey (sadist PE teacher) while she stood there in a padded coat and tracksuit. Eventually she realised she'd probably gone a bit too far in trying to toughen us up when our legs went all "corned beef" and our hands turned so cold and blue that we couldn't hold the hockey sticks.

Now THAT was unfair. Same teacher also used to stand chatting to colleagues inside while she sent the class round on the cross country trail. What a sit off lesson for her!

That is so trivial of your dd to complain about that there must be a reason why it upsets her so much. Is she scared of getting a verruca?

Oh that was another one - we got our feet manhandled by the same teacher who insisted on doing a verruca check one day on everyone's feet. This was the late 80s. Nowadays people would be shocked that teachers were touching pupils' bare feet and legs (however sweaty and smelly it may have been then.

Can you guess that I don't like PE teachers and think that a lot of them are lazy at best and at worst a bit too keen to get near to half dressed pupils?

Original poster

RachyMumUk · 26/04/2015 22:39

CalleighDoodle - bare feet are the rule. Do they get a choice at your school and if so why do you think most choose bare feet? I can't imagine DD or any of her friends choosing bare feet over shoes!!

daffs - what did your son moan about?

OP posts:

CalleighDoodle · 26/04/2015 22:40

Tbh i dont know! Im never barefooted.i wore my ballet shoes to my pole dancing class.

balletgirlmum · 26/04/2015 22:41

Dd loves dancing in bare feet

littlejohnnydory · 26/04/2015 22:42

So do you want to raise adults who do as they're told without question, daffs?

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 26/04/2015 22:44

The way i try to explain it to the kids I teach is that everyone has to follow rules but those rules are different depending on who you are and what rights / responsibilities you have.

So, yes, the rule for your daughter is that she needs to remove her shoes and socks. That rule does not apply to her teacher.

Your DD's teacher has to (for example) mark xx number of books, do duty at break time, go to a staff meeting. Those rules do not apply to your daughter.

pieceofpurplesky · 26/04/2015 22:47

All teachers get this - you don't have to wear uniform etc. tell your daughter that when she is a dance teacher she can do the same but as a pupil you follow the rules. The teacher probably has to do more than teach - walk around the classroom, go out of the classroom, not perform all the moves etc.
your daughter (not wanting to sound mean) wants a reality check! Bare feet it suitable for a pupil of dance

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 22:48

Why shouldn't the teacher set the example? We have to set the example on language (ie no swearing), professional dress, turning up on time etc. And why are adults allowed to wear makeup, but not teens? Makes no sense to me.

My main reason for loving working with teens is that they have an extreme idea of fairness. That everything should be fair, at all times. Why would you want to bash that out of them? All the rules in my classroom have good reasons behind them. And I have spent time discussing with some students why they exist.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2015 22:48

The more I think about it though the more I think the teacher should probably set the example (not going to tell the school that though!!)

Why would a teacher need to 'set the example'?

She's a teacher, not a pupil.

This is her place of work, not the school she attended as a child.

Presumably the teacher doesn't have to wear school uniform either?

I think 'Get over it' is genuinely the best advice to give your child.

Original poster

RachyMumUk · 26/04/2015 22:49

CurlyHairedAssasin - that foot check sounds a bit disturbing... did it happen every week?

OP posts:

Andylion · 26/04/2015 22:50

Same teacher also used to stand chatting to colleagues inside while she sent the class round on the cross country trail.
Ours used to stand there eating a fudgsicle while we ran laps, on really hot, spring days.

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 22:51

I would add that I'm not a hippy-dippy teacher, I'm pretty strict. But I think it's massively important to make sure the students understand why the rules exist. They find it easier to follow rules that they actually understand.

daffsandtulips · 26/04/2015 22:52

We are not talking adults here though are we, so that is a bit silly isnt it. I told my son to get over himself and do what he was told. I supported the school wholeheartedly. I never allowed my son to think he was right. He was there to learn. Give a teen an inch and they take a mile.

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