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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell DD to get over it (PE related)

92 replies

RachyMumUk · 26/04/2015 22:14

Got some views over in Secondary yesterday but DD is still moaning.

Dance in PE is done in bare feet at her school (as it was at ours). I've not problem with this but now she has started moaning (all weekend!) that the teacher should take her shoes and socks off too......

I've told her to get over it but she is still going on about how "unfair it all is"

Do I tell her to get over it or does she have a point?

OP posts:
Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 22:54

daffs, the school rules are there to help him learn. And schools / teachers are not perfect, so he may well gave been right sometimes!

Original poster
RachyMumUk · 26/04/2015 22:54

Oh there is no question about me taking her side - I back the school it's important to have standards.

Jessica2 - I assume you are advocating the teacher going barefoot?

OP posts:
Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 22:55

Yes, the teacher should go barefoot unless there's a good reason not to. If there's a good reason not to she should be able to explain that reason to your DD. I wouldn't advocate your DD questioning her though, some teachers don't like it when the students want to learn the reasoning behind the rules.

pieceofpurplesky · 26/04/2015 22:57

Jessica are you a teacher??? And an adult??? I assume you are a qualified teacher yet don't seem to grasp the concept of rules. Make up is inappropriate and unnecessary for 11/12/13/14 year olds. Maybe Year 11 have a point. Allow any age and wait for Scouse brows, red lips and fake eyelashes - these pupils are children and what their parents allow is a different argument.
Making a pupil dance without shoes in a dance lesson (as has been done for many years in many types of school) is not unfair just common sense.
If your main reason for loving working with teens is their extreme idea of fairness I worry - my reason for teaching is to inspire, enthuse and develop individuals ... Their ideas of injustice are often skewed ... Yes they seek fairness but it is an educators job to teach the reality of life, surely? And one of those is that sometimes in life there is a dress code where the bosses don't have to follow ...

daffsandtulips · 26/04/2015 22:57

The way I saw it was, there are always going to be instances where you need to suck it up. Teachers are not there to be mean to you. If you see wrong then know they are doing a very difficult job, rise above it. I advised him to go and speak to them after an incident, either apologise or state his case in a calm manner.

WorraLiberty · 26/04/2015 22:58

Oh there is no question about me taking her side - I back the school it's important to have standards

I'm sensing there is very much a question of you taking her side.

Otherwise why would you start two threads on a parenting forum and end up saying, The more I think about it though the more I think the teacher should probably set the example

Most parents I know would honestly just roll their eyes, nod, smile and think inwardly 'Yeah right...what can I cook for tea'.

FarFromAnyRoad · 26/04/2015 23:04

It's got just slightly less than bugger all to do with your DD what any teacher does or does not do. The day teachers need to start complying with the whiny whims of teenagers is the day it's game over for education and discipline in schools.

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 23:08

purple, yes I am an adult (nearly 30 Sad), and I teach secondary physics ages 11 - 18. It isn't the reason I went in to teaching, but it's why I'm glad I teach secondary rather than primary. Teens get so much shit, but actually I think this is one major plus point. And it helps my teaching - it reminds me to always be fair and the kids respond really well to that.

My main point, however, was that most rules have a good reason, and I think teachers should explain that reason as appropriate. Some rules are arbitrary (like 16 year old and make up), and then it is necessary to say that we all do things which are expected of us, even if we don't agree with them. I absolutely don't want to be teaching anyone to just accept the rules and never question. Science is all about questioning ideas and received wisdom, so if I were teaching them 'because I said so' I'd be a really crap science teacher!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/04/2015 23:11

I see the tell her to get over it brigade are out in force but perhaps your dd has a point somewhere s long the line. Perhaps she's right. These teachers should may be practice what they preach.
But there's not really a lot you can do. I mean you can hardly go up to the school and say "Tell that teacher to take her shoes off."

daffsandtulips · 26/04/2015 23:16

Practice what you preach? really? I have taught my son to actually respect his teachers. They are human and can get things wrong when taking a class of 20+ Its worked for me. My son respects people that know more than he does. How ridiculous that a child is allowed that authority.

balletgirlmum · 26/04/2015 23:17

Is the teacher wearing shoes or trainers? And if trainers is she certain they are not jazz trainers for example?

Original poster
RachyMumUk · 26/04/2015 23:18

Oh I don't know, I assume trainers. Does it make a difference?

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/04/2015 23:21

Yeah and so hAvd I taught my dd respect. But children are also human, too. And they have a strong sense of fairness. You nothing about me or my child. I do not appreciate you calling her disrespectful. Which you have done in a round about way I made the comment not her.

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 23:23

practice what they preach exactly. My kids aren't allowed to drink (even water) in my classroom cos it's a lab. So I don't either. "Practice what you preach" could also be called "setting a good example".

balletgirlmum · 26/04/2015 23:24

Jazz trainers have avery flexible split sole to allow more freedom of movement. They are often used for street dance/street jazz. They sent as flexible as split sole jazz shoes which mould more to the foot. They cost upwards of £40.

There are some arguments that split soles should only be worn by more advanced dancers however as they don't have as much foot support & you don't have to work the foot quite as hard. Hence beginners wear full sole jazz shoes or bare feet (but contemporary is performed in bare feet anyway more often than not.

taxi4ballet · 26/04/2015 23:24

Unless the teacher is wearing trainers designed for dance, they will not be able to demonstrate properly. Jazz trainers are split-soled and let you point your feet in a way that you couldn't in normal trainers.

If you are training young people in dance, then you need to show them how to use their feet correctly (otherwise it is easy to get injured if you are landing from a jump wrongly for instance), so in a way OP your dd is probably right!!

daffsandtulips · 26/04/2015 23:25

Teens also turn things around to suit themselves OFTEN. Teachers are there to teach and children are there to learn. To point out that a teacher is not wearing what is expected of the child at that particular time is ridiculous.

daffsandtulips · 26/04/2015 23:26

Its a ruddy PE lesson for god sake! not a ballet lesson.

balletgirlmum · 26/04/2015 23:28

Actually daffs it's meant to be a dance lesson. I assume cintemporary as that's what most schools do.

It's as important to be dressed correctly & safely as it is in football or hockey.

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 23:31

daffs, but if a teacher takes the time to explain the rules then the kids are generally much better at following the rules. At an appropriate time of course. Most teens seem to lose their desire to understand the rules when the explanation is offered at lunch time rather than during the lesson. For the kids that really want the explanation, offering the opportunity is massively helpful for behaviour management.

pieceofpurplesky · 26/04/2015 23:41

So Jess - do you not follow health and safety procedures in your classroom as a physics teacher then?

Flywheel · 26/04/2015 23:43

This has been posted twice in as many days. I thin the op may have a bit of a foot fetish

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/04/2015 23:43

Hi Jessica. I take it you're a teacher. You sound very fair. Your pupils Are lucky to have you.
A lot of people are too quick to use the words cheeky disrespectful ect but a lot of the time the children are making good points. I'm not one of them just because I'm an adult. I'm always right.
I have found as a mum to a teen. If you're fAir with them then I guarantee they'll bs fair with you.

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 23:45

purple, of course I follow procedures, why? Is there one in particular you think I'm missing?

Jessica2point0 · 26/04/2015 23:48

lighthouse, I wouldn't go that far! I just get so angry when people don't treat teens as actual human beings. Their logic may not be right, but the best thing you can do in that case is talk to them about it. Saying "I'm an adult so you must do as your told" is crap. Why the hell would you wait to raise teens to become adults who never question authority?!