To be annoyed at this older man

[PaulaJane37]

I'm probably BU and prepared for being told so but I'm really annoyed!

I'm on holiday at the moment and I suffer from IBS, I don't go for a week to 2 weeks but when I need to go I NEED to go. So yesterday I was at the pool and the familiar pains started, I moved swiftly into the hotel foyer, and there is one male and one female toilet, an older man (very rotund with a walking stick) and his wife were sitting with cases obviously waiting to be picked up, the wife kinda trotted/ran in front of me and got into the ladies before me, now I had three options.

1. Use the men's
2. Use the disabled toilet
3. Wait and shit myself (sorry)

I used the disabled, I know I'm not disabled, but it is a unisex toilet and I knew I'd be in and out in about 20 seconds flat and only the man was left in the foyer and I thought that would be better than going into the male toilet. Well as I sat down, the door handle got rattled and the door was quite obviously kicked a couple of times, I got a hell of a fright and was a little scared to come out, but still was out in about two minutes flat to find the man standing at the reception complaining that "that woman does not have a blue badge!"
Now, I'm not even sure that the poor Spanish receptionists knew what a blue badge was but he was going mental!! I walked away quite upset actually and almost went back in to tell him in.no uncertain terms that not all disabilities are visible! I only didn't because I knew I'm not disabled and would have felt bad for insinuating that I was!!

AIBU to be annoyed with the rotund rabble rouser?

Thank you dudes mummy, and yes my point was not everyone has a visible disability

Then sooty I apologise you find the use of the word rotund offensive. His age and size and walking stick made me, possible stupid to think that he would need to use that loo also and therefore relevant to my post. Please, read no further

I have IBS and have often done this exact same thing. I figure that my right to not shit myself in public is as equally valid as anyone else's.

For what it's worth, I was never aware that using a disabled loo when you're not visibly disabled, when there's no one else waiting, was a bad thing until I read it on MN.

And the man was an aggressive arse. You should have called him out on it.

Hope you're feeling better now and your stomach has settled enough to enjoy the rest of your hols. IBS is no fun.

Don't use derogatory terms to describe people, it will never help argue your case.

That aside, of course you are not being unreasonable. As far as I'm concerned, a disability is exactly as is says, and inability to do something whether physical or otherwise. Your IBS means you have an inability to wait to use the bathroom, therefore disability toilets are there for you to use. Unfortunately, as your illness is not 'obvious', you will always have to deal with ignorance.

Lost as to how the OP has said anything offensive here

How else should she have described him? Or shouldn't she bother?

I get upset when I read all old people are this, all young people are that, all thin people are this, all fat people are that, etc, etc.

But she wasn't generalising, she was describing a specific person who clearly felt he had sole right to the disabled loo.

What is derogatory about rotund? What is a better word?

Why can't we describe people as they are?

Oh fgs this is ridiculous. Op you haven't done anything wrong and in rl people wouldn't have found your description offensive at all.

In fairness I don't think most people here were offended either.

What a twat. Although doubt the Spanish resort would care about blue badges or "I have ibs" signs. I would've given him a rollicking, miserable sod

If she'd stuck to describing his behaviour, people would have sympathised. Is it really that hard?

In this instance his age and size were relevant. I understood that; it isn't 'hard'.

Exactly Floisme

She mentioned his age but not his behaviour even in the thread title and came up with "grumpy old man" which was unnecessary. His behaviour was awful. No one's disputing that.

How nitpicky. She only said he was rotund

Shall we have a sweep on how long before we get:
'politically correct gone mad'
'You can say anything these days.'
'elf n' safety.'

Obviously that should have been 'Can't say anything these days'

Oh we're bound to get all of those.

If she'd started a thread saying "AIBU to be annoyed at this black man" no one would have found it added relevant information. All she needed to do was confine her comments to his rude and aggressive behaviour.

But him being black isn't relevant to him needing to use the disabled toilet; his age and size could be!

So what's the justification for "grumpy old man" and "rotund rabble rouser" then?

Because he was grumpy, and I don't think the OP said 'rabble rouser'. 'Rotund' is generally considered a polite word for 'big' - if he couldn't get into the standard gents toilets then that's relevant!

YANBU!

How awful for you! He was being a mega prick.

Ignore him.

She did say it in her first post:
AIBU to be annoyed with the rotund rabble rouser?

Apologies then - rabble rouser wasn't strictly accurate but his size was and I understood it's the size and age you have an issue with.

God almighty, if this thread is offensive to you then don't read it! Some people only post to wind up the OP and pick apart her posts. So she said the man was fat and old. So? She was describing him and the situation. Christ Mn is infuriating sometimes.
OP I suffer from IBS too and I would have done the same. Ignore the bun fighters .

OP, you are getting a hard time on here for no real reason.
The OP has painted a scenario here, much like an author might, and has added description so we get a better picture.
OP, I have a blue badge.
You had every right to use that loo in my opinion.
My disability is hidden and I am fed up with the judgmental looks, tutting, staring etc. when I emerge from/approach my car in a BB space, more often than not, wearing a suit.
When it happened the other day (in Waitrose no less!), I took a couple to task about it asking why they were staring at me and shaking their heads and asking whether they wanted to see my badge (which was displayed in the window anyway).
Whatever his ability, stature etc., his behaviour was bang out of order.

It was his size and his age - as much as his behaviour - that the op seemed to have an issue with.