To be annoyed at this older man

[PaulaJane37]

I'm probably BU and prepared for being told so but I'm really annoyed!

I'm on holiday at the moment and I suffer from IBS, I don't go for a week to 2 weeks but when I need to go I NEED to go. So yesterday I was at the pool and the familiar pains started, I moved swiftly into the hotel foyer, and there is one male and one female toilet, an older man (very rotund with a walking stick) and his wife were sitting with cases obviously waiting to be picked up, the wife kinda trotted/ran in front of me and got into the ladies before me, now I had three options.

1. Use the men's
2. Use the disabled toilet
3. Wait and shit myself (sorry)

I used the disabled, I know I'm not disabled, but it is a unisex toilet and I knew I'd be in and out in about 20 seconds flat and only the man was left in the foyer and I thought that would be better than going into the male toilet. Well as I sat down, the door handle got rattled and the door was quite obviously kicked a couple of times, I got a hell of a fright and was a little scared to come out, but still was out in about two minutes flat to find the man standing at the reception complaining that "that woman does not have a blue badge!"
Now, I'm not even sure that the poor Spanish receptionists knew what a blue badge was but he was going mental!! I walked away quite upset actually and almost went back in to tell him in.no uncertain terms that not all disabilities are visible! I only didn't because I knew I'm not disabled and would have felt bad for insinuating that I was!!

AIBU to be annoyed with the rotund rabble rouser?

Yanbu at all. You needed that loo, he was unnecessarily aggressive.

Yanbu at all. You needed that loo, he was unnecessarily aggressive.

"He was probably senile - all old people are."

How old do you think he was? 55? 60? Surely not as old as 65 -once you reach that age you are usually housebound, aren't you?

Yanbu, whilst your aren't disabled. You had need at that moment. Hoe does he know you don't have a blue badge?

My mum gets this alot as her disability. Its not obvious and she gets more abuse from other people with disabilities quite alot. It pisses me off

Hakylut, which exaggeration do you refer, do you think that I would be annoyed and a little scared if the door hadn't been kicked? If the door handle had been rattled I would have thought either someone wants in or someone is annoyed I'm using this loo, it would not have put me up nor down, even the shouting to the receptionist I could handle as some people are just pricks! Kicking the door made my upset and a little scared to come out. Now whether you are pissed at my description of this man or not, Do not insinuate I have lied or exaggerated! As I said some people are just pricks!

I have IBS too so I sympathise and you're right about him being a prick but you lost me when you brought his age and size into it. Your subsequent posts are not helping.

Hakluyt - I think he was around 50, had retired on a defined benefits pension and the trip to Spain was probably his 16th holiday this year. And I bet his equally elderly wife touches babies faces as well!

OP, yanbu

I your description of the man at face value and thought you may have been telling us about his age/weight/walking stick to point out that he might have needed access to that toilet too, as opposed to the ordinary male one.

There was no need for him to be so agressive, or indeed to stick his nose in at all- if he had time to piss about kicking the door and yelling at the receptionist, his need for the toilet obviously wasn't as urgent as yours.

I think if someone had kicked at a toilet door while I was in it with stomach cramps, having a poo, I would feel like saying something very rude about them too but I probably wouldn't actually type it.

IBS is horrible... I had to squat in the trees at a local beauty spot, with my son keeping guard, a few weeks ago. There is no way I could have held it in and I was moaning with pain. It can be utterly debilitating when it strikes.

Another who has IBS and would have done what you did but is disgusted by your stereotyping.

Sooty, where did I stereotype? He was fat and had a walking stick, he may have been fat through illness and also needed to use the disabled loo. I'm not stereotyping anywhere. He was too large to have fit in the normal loo, he also was older and had a walking stick, more reason for me to think he may need to use the disabled loo. Stereotyping my arse, it was what it was, I provided the facts, if weight and age were anything to me if sure I'd kicked to the kerb by my family for being insensitive, which I am not, in fact is say I was uber sensitive!!

I guess some of us are just professionally offended, aren't we op?

This man sounds like a mner.

Anyone who NEEDS to use a disabled toilet, can use a disabled toilet. There is no qualifying criteria.

Nothing else is relevant.

If you can't see why your post is offensive I think it would be pointless trying to explain to you. You've already been told his age and build were irrelevant. Furthermore you stereotyped initially in your thread title.

Yanbu, you needed that toilet as you have a medical condition, I would have told him to get lost if he started shouting and I'm on the loo with crippling iBS (I have it too). What is he, the toilet Police! Op mentioned his age as it probably was relevant to the op, she was annoyed quite rightly with him, so yes called him shock horror, rotund!

Exactly Unsolved

Aero how is his age "probably" relevant to the OP?

It provides more information to the scenario

And how is this information relevant? She could have said he was black or white. That would add information and be equally irrelevant.

Actually sooty his age was I would estimate late 70's his wife looked older than that but that means nothing. And there is nothing offensive about my post, so please don't try and explain, I'm an adult and I'll decide myself whether describing someone as rotund, which I believe is relevant to my post and being polite , rather than fat old fart which it feels like I'm being accused of, is offensive to me, which is isn't.

It might not be offensive to you. It might well be offensive to other people.

What disgusting behaviour. I sometimes take my DS (age 5, autistic) into a disabled toilet if there is a queue because he cannot do queues and would not wait if he really has to go. He does in fact have a blue badge but it would generaly be on the car and not with me whe we are out and about. I have had some looks when people see me and him (no obvious visible diability) going into or coming out of the disabled toilet. I have never had such horrible behaviour though.

And I am not aware that there is any rule that you have to have a blue badge to use a disbaled toilet. Who made such a rule? I have a leg in a cast and am on crutches at the moment as it happens, and I would certainly feel free to use a disabled toilet if I needed to, although as it is a temporary stae I am not entitled to a ble badge.

Sorry re typos, DS sitting on me.

Yes and how did the man know you didn't have a blue badge?