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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not give my ex any money

24 replies

BG2015 · 24/04/2015 20:08

Seperated Dec 2013 after nearly 5 years together, he moved out Feb 2014 to live with his gf of a few weeks, with his £1k paid to him that he had put down as a deposit for our house. I put a large amount of equity into the purchase which was secured by a declaration of trust. He put in nothing!

Legal agreement drawn up that he would get £5k as long as he contributed to the mortgage and loan we had jointly. Each month he defaulted the £5k would reduce.

The house took an age to sell and I eventually sold in Feb at a £35k loss. He stopped paying towards the mortgage in Sept 14 and the loan in March 15.

I was forced to cover his half of the mortgage through lodgers, which he found out about. Now he's demanding that he wants some of his £5k because I've been "raking it in & taking money off him too".

I'm in debt to my parents, extra bank expenses, fuel bills.

I know we lived together and contributed equally to the house (similar incomes)I was grateful he contributed for 8 months, but then he left me high and dry. I'm struggling to understand how I owe him anything. The figures don't add up.

he owes me over £6000 in unpaid mortgage/loan! Now I'm coming to completion he's pressing me for a figure of how much I owe him

help me be a bitch!

OP posts:
Jengnr · 24/04/2015 20:09

Tell him to fuck off.

YoniMitchell · 24/04/2015 20:10

What Jengr said.

petalsandstars · 24/04/2015 20:11

Fuck off !

"When you pay the £6k you owe me I'll work out the figure"

HermioneWeasley · 24/04/2015 20:11

Yes "fuck off" seems to cover it nicely

HarryLimeFoxtrot · 24/04/2015 20:12

Send him an invoice for what he owes you...

AlternativeTentacles · 24/04/2015 20:13

Surely he owes you a share of that £35k?

HopLittleBunny · 24/04/2015 20:13

"I owe you £5k. You've have £1k and you owe me £6k. Here is the ways you can pay me the £2k you owe me over and above your remaining payout. You have 28 days to pay. Thank you and goodbye."

Pollyswall · 24/04/2015 20:18

Surely the £35k loss means that he owes you a fair bit.

MimiSunshine · 24/04/2015 20:21

Stick rigidly to the legal agreement. If that says he loses out for every month he defaults without any caveats that you can't recuperate the shortfall through lodgers etc then that's all that matters.

Work out from the moment he moved out to sell date what he should have paid minus what he did pay equals what he owes you.
Use the same maths to work out what's left of the £5k he could have had and present him with the figures.

The only response to his moaning of lodgers is what did he expect you to do, default?

CanuckBC · 24/04/2015 20:33

I had a big post done and tried to post it and it disappeared:(. Basically he is going to end up owning you money as he should help pay for the selling of the property . Stick to the contract. Minus the amount for him defaulting. He can pound sand.

FishWithABicycle · 24/04/2015 20:33

He owes you a pro-rata share of the £35k loss. If he pays this, you owe him a pro-rata share of the tiny amount of income (relative to the whole amounts involved here) which you got from renting out a room in a property he notionally own a slice of. All told, he'll still owe you, obviously he'll never repay, but by calculating the total meticulously and accurately you disarm his future bitching about this for many years to come.

lordsandladies · 24/04/2015 20:35

Why on earth would you need to be a bitch?

The agreement said no defaults. He defaulted. You lost money there is no profit for him to have his £5k out of.

You have no emotional connection to him.

So just never speak to him again. Block his number and spam his emails.

Original poster
BG2015 · 25/04/2015 11:17

Thank you! I know what you say is true.

A very tiny part of me feels guilty that he contributed to our lives together (and he indirectly supported my 2 children) although I didn't need him to do that as I earned enough to do it anyway.

I feel sad that there is no money for him but I can't help the housing market. I can't help that we bought a new house that wouldn't sell.

I feel sadder for myself that my equity has gone down massively.

I just can't understand why he would think he would get any money though. And a court would back me up, the figures speak for themselves.

A friend suggested sending him £5k of Monopoly money lol

OP posts:
Collaborate · 25/04/2015 11:46

You need to take legal advice urgently. He can upset the sale, as he still has to sign documents. You'll need an order for sale under s.14 of the Trust of Land Act.

flora717 · 25/04/2015 11:55

My ex stalled the sale on the house. Get the figures down. Get a solicitor to set them out with a sign here to agree that the 1k was a full and final. Then he can do one.

Original poster
BG2015 · 25/04/2015 21:00

Everything has been signed now, we are days away from exchange.

OP posts:
43percentburnt · 25/04/2015 21:38

I reiterate what collaborate said, you haven't exchanged yet. Get ready to force the sale if needed.

LotusLight · 25/04/2015 21:47

So the sale has happened - how did you fund the £35k loss and sale expenses? Did your family have to make the payment?
I presume you were unmarried and just living together?

it sounds like the whole sale has happened and you are both now just fighting over the supposed £5k he is owed. Did you agree under the trust he got £5k (and what did it say if property sold at a loss) or was there a later agreement after the trust saying he would get £5k?

PuggyMum · 25/04/2015 21:58

Any income you receive from a lodger is income and is declared as that for tax purposes. It's like you had a payrise.

(You only need to declare to the revenue if over a certain amount.

You had to share your home to receive this income. Make sacrifices to allow for a lodger in your home.

It has nothing to do with your ex and you wouldn't have made the decision to do so if he hadn't defaulted.

Tell him to fuck off!

Original poster
BG2015 · 26/04/2015 14:47

The declaration of trust stated that once any legal fees & the outstanding mortgage had been paid off my equity would be taken out first and then any money left would be divided equally.

Of course there was no money as we sold at a loss.

The £35K includes legal fees.

The £5k agreement was decided after he moved out.

OP posts:
LotusLight · 26/04/2015 16:08

Okay so in law you tend go in order of agreements - the more recent £5k agreement needs to be looked at. It may amount to a variation of the earlier declaration of trust. What form did the £5k agreement take? Was it in writing and did a solicitor look at it and does it mention the original deed of trust? I am assuming you were not married so no divorce consent order on finances.

Original poster
BG2015 · 26/04/2015 16:50

The £5k agreement links to the declaration of trust and states it's conditions. It stipulates quite clearly that the amount would diminish each time he defaulted.

We also have an overdraft that he has left me with, he owes £300 on that plus monthly bank charges that total £450 (£225 each). I have deducted that off his £5k also. I also paid £60 to BT for the TV sports package he arranged in my name and then left me with. No choice but to pay it.

The £5k is long gone!

OP posts:
Justusemyname · 26/04/2015 16:55

Have you cancelled the sports package now?

Original poster
BG2015 · 26/04/2015 17:44

I cancelled that before he left.

OP posts:
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