to wonder why people invest in threads titled 'sad. Sorry - long, or triggering'

[ElizabethHoover]

WHY would you want to post on a thread advertised already as SAD?
CHrist alive

The more you think about it the dafter it is really.

I also think there is an element of attention seeking mawkishness about declaring your thread to be triggering without actually stating what it's about. It's like reeling in the audience for a Victorian freak show with tantalising promises of grimness and horror.

Long opening posts drive me mad and I usually just click off, if a warning hasn't already been put in the title. Most of them just ramble all over the place and include a confusing level of detail, when the main question could have been asked in a few sentences.

If they waffle and go into too much irrelevant background detail I give up reading - it's just too exhausting to keep track of and I lose interest.

A lot of people using the Internet don't necessarily have the "correct" exacting education required on this obviously chocked-full forum of intelligentsia, they may not do the paragraphs (eg if they are using a mobile) or their spelling isn't great etc. is that a reason to look down our noses at them?

If someone is in a hectic relationship, or just not in a good place, they are just wanting support not judgy eye-rolling and PA comments.

I thought that was the bear minimum to expect.

"Triggering" is normally put after the subject, so if someone has been raped and the title includes the key word, it means avoid opening it if it's disturbing. What's not to understand?

And yes I wrote bear instead of bare, I've give some folk even more entertainment now.

daisy, you made a spelling mistake

I think we can safely discount anything you say now. You are not worthy of any engagement whatsoever.

Northernlurker Well said!

I think it would be better if OPs used titles that made it very clear what the thread is going to be about.

We all have various things that can trigger feelings of sadness or upset, and an OP can't be aware of them all. So make it clear by your title if the subject is going to be abuse, bereavement, childlessness, violence or whatever and then posters can make an instant decision as to whether they want to open the thread or not.

But if the key word in the thred title is rape and the reader may triggered (god how I hate that as a verb) by that then they won't open the thread anyway. Do they need to be told that it may upset them, given that they already know it's about rape?

And if the key word doesn't appear in the thread title and it just says something like 'I need help - warning, triggering' then the person is forced to open the thread and possibly be triggered anyway.

It's all such nonsense.

"then the person is forced to open the thread"
How exactly? Is someone holding a gun to your head and forcing you to open threads? Should we call the police for you? Just blink twice if you need help.

Harking back to an earlier post by Usual on the loofah/spider thing, I once opened a thread titled "My dh just threw a massive loofah out of the bathroom window." I was intrigued to find out why the OP's dh was lobbing bathroom accessories out of the window and was to find out that the loofah was a spider. We are grown ups and should be treated as such there is no need for this childishness.

Sometimes I think posters deliberately click onto threads with 'Sad' or 'triggering' in the title in a soap opera voyeuristic way and seem to feed off the drama, continually calling for updates, etc. Perhaps it is becoming overused but you will never stop the drama junkies whether it is or not.

How terrific that on this site swear words are two a penny, but calling an arachnid by its proper name is considered too upsetting!

I rather like place marking posts as long as they're witty.

I have no problem with long opening posts, but if I did it would be a mite hypocritical as I am Queen of Excessively Long Posts. (With paragraphs, grant me that.)

Well this thread just goes to show that MN is in the process of digesting itself whole...

The loofah thing was more of an in joke than a serious attempt to protect the spider phobic. The problem with the huuuge nature of the site now is that in jokes are not "got" because only 5% of posters actually know what the poster is going on about. 80% will take it seriously and 15% will be offended.

Old posters who try to post in the same way as they did ten years ago will be eaten alive because the rules have changed.

of course the rules have changed
why would you expect them not to when we all experience the fact that all language and culture is in a constant state of flux?

Umm, personally I think it's fine to open a thread, take a look & think "gah, no paragraphs", "gah, terrible spelling/grammar" etc. etc., decide you can't or don't want to bother deciphering it and move on.

What I think is really mean & spiteful is when a poster has typed out a long, desperate, post about something that is a major issue for them and the first few replies are along the lines of "Paragraphs". "You lost me at discusting". "I can't make head or tail of your OP as the grammar is so bad."

No, no, no! If a friend rang you utterly distressed & sobbing down the phone would your first response be "you need to speak in clear, well punctuated, sentences or I'm not interested"? Compassion people, compassion.

But to answer the OP, I would probably open a "sad" or "triggering" thread to see whether it was a topic I could help with. If it was, and OP replied to my post, I would continue posting.

If the topic is something I have no knowledge or experience of I wouldn't post. No advice is better than bad advice IMO.

And, FWIW, I do agree that "triggering" is a bit pointless without further explanation in the title.

For me, cancer is the most likely topic to "trigger". For other people it will obviously be different subjects relevant to them!

Of course you are right ugly that was badly worded, no-one is forced to open the thread, but if more and more threads carry a trigger warning without really being specific about the nature of the content, or even if they are specific but the thread is not especially graphic, then people end up with so many trigger warnings all over the place that they can only read Baby Names and Camping topics.

Indubitably AF

I have to say, any thread with WARNING disgusting or similar in the Title bar immediate gets hidden. I can't believe the way people take a photo of puss-filled boils/bruises/oozing scabs [delete as appropriate].

And loads of people post comments.... The mind boggles. I want to heave at the sight (and I'm sort of one of those emeticphobia jobbies whatever they label us as).

Oh I just loved bear legs. It was a wonderful mental image. A woman striding through the city all chic on the top half but with BEAR LEGS.

I wonder why people invest in threads asking about advice on whether a particular dress is suitable to wear on the school run

The loofah/spider thing wasn't an in joke though.

I remember posters getting their arse kicked for typing spider in a thread title.

There used to be a BolloxTheSpider who would run in and out of threads. I miss her/him/it.