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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be perfectly happy doing stuff alone?

105 replies

onceuponavino · 23/04/2015 16:00

Hi all,

This really isn't a big deal, I'm just interested to get other people's input!

Since my late teens I've been perfectly happy doing things alone e.g. going to the cinema, going out for lunch, exercising. I'm just not someone who has ever really wanted a "gym buddy" which used to somewhat irritate a few friends at uni as they would take it personally.. but I just prefer exercising alone!

I am particularly like this with shopping. If I know I want a new dress for something I will take myself off into town, get the dress and it's done. I don't feel the need to ask a friend to go with me. I'm not a loner per-say, I have a close group of friends but at the same time I am comfortable being a party of one. Don't get me wrong I love having people around me but I don't feel I NEED people around me. I'd rather go to the cinema with a friend but if there is a film out that no one I know wants to see, I'll just take myself off and that's ok. When I have some spare time I may well want to spend it with friends but I may also just want to be by myself.

The thing is, people seem to take this personally. I was with a friend today and she asked if I was busy on saturday and I said no. She said "ok do you want to come into town with me I need some new shoes." So I said ok but straight away she responded with "you don't really want to do you?" I must have given that away in my tone although I really didn't mean to! I know you may be thinking, well your friend just wants to spend time with you, nothing wrong with that. But she lives 3 houses down from me, we both work from home so we see each other almost every single day. She's just that type who always needs people around her (she's said many times she gets agitated if she's alone for more than an hour or 2- when not working I mean) which is just something I can't comprehend no matter how hard I try. Of course I will go into town with her but I can't help but think "for goodness sake you're a grown woman who needs a new pair of shoes just go into town and get some!"

I suppose since my late teens I've always felt a little odd for being like this as I know so few people who are the same. I used to fib about doing more on the weekend than I actually did- which may well have been spent alone with a good book or whatever else I fancied doing. Again it's not that I didn't have people to do things with, I just sometimes would want a weekend to myself.

So is anyone else like this? Does anyone else sometimes feel pressured to be with people all of the time or made to feel "odd" if you don't want to be? I sometimes think no one really gets it at all!

OP posts:
Deux · 24/04/2015 13:47

I don't like an audience either and my idea of hell would be any kind of surprise party for me.

The thought makes me wince. I don't really celebrate my birthday apart from immediate family. If DH asks me what I'd like for my birthday/Christmas, I always say A Week Alone. I never have organised any nights out for my birthday either. Perfectly happy to go to others' though.

He thinks I'm plain weird as his idea of heaven would be a surprise party.

DH is taking DS out to his sport tonight and taking DD with him - bliss, 2 whole hours.

Deux · 24/04/2015 13:48

We could all meet up and sit in regimented silence.

ImpishElf · 24/04/2015 23:17

I am the same as you! Love quality me time with...me! Particularly shopping. Also enjoy being with friends, but need some alone time.

cerealqueen · 24/04/2015 23:57

YANBU! I've been talked into some bad purchases and out of good purchases by friend's / boyfriends while shopping - never again!!

I love pottering about on my own.

TheWintersmith · 25/04/2015 00:19

Yes to all of this

And I'm the only person I know in real life that is like this. Everyone else thinks I'm nuts. And antisocial.

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