Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

not to let DD have a tv in her bedroom?

137 replies

sashangel · 23/04/2015 11:48

My DD is 6. She has started the going to friends for tea. Her friend came to our house for tea yesterday and asked if they could put the tv on in her room. She said that she didn't have one and her friend looked gobsmacked. She told her that she had always had one and watches in bed on a night to go to sleep. She has now asked for a tv in her room.
AIBU not to let her have one with very strict limits on times she can watch?

OP posts:

Happy36 · 25/04/2015 17:53

You are being entirely reasonable. My husband and I don't have a television in our room and tell our children there's no need for them to have one either. I can see only disadvantages of tv in the bedroom, at any age.

Mehitabel6 · 25/04/2015 17:54

It is up to the individual - only you can decide. It was one of the things that I was definite about- on no account was anyone (adults included) having screens in bedrooms. I don't regret it. However- that was my choice for my house- not for anyone else.

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 18:00

Exactly Mehita. Plus I would imagine once the children leave home it isn't something we will give much thought to.

I would imagine most students at University would have a TVs and gadgets in their bedroom. I am 2 years off finding out.

Mehitabel6 · 25/04/2015 18:04

Once they were 18yrs they did as they liked- if they bought it!

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 18:06

I will be generous and let them take the ones they have now.

Mrsjayy · 25/04/2015 18:08

I have a Tv in my bedroom its my escape we dont all watch the same programmes

MistressMerryWeather · 25/04/2015 18:13

DS1 is 7 and currently has a TV, x box, wii u, laptop, tablet and 3DS in his bedroom. They are much safer in there than where DS2 can get at them. :o

He's a gadget geek like his dad, it's their 'thing'.

He also has a screen time rule so it's no big deal. Contrary to popular belief he also spend lots of time outside, has an wonderful imagination and is very crafty.

People like to use evil technology as a way to pat themselves on the back for good parenting, but it's mostly nonsense.

Marynary · 25/04/2015 18:14

We only have a TV in the living room in our house and my children have never had TVs in their room. They used to ask when they were younger but I always said no. Admittedly they could watch it on their laptops nowadays (they are teenagers) but I don't think they ever do. Perhaps that is because they didn't get into the habit when they were younger.

bimandbam · 25/04/2015 18:28

My dd has had a tv and dvd in her room since she was about the same age.

It's never impacted her ability to sleep. She is now in y6 and about to do her sats and the only one in her class doing maths and English at level 6 so it hasn't affected her school work.

It hasn't had any impact on how active she is. We have 2 ponies and she rides every day.

She is popular and social at school so hasn't had any impact on her personality that I can see.

While I can understand that screen time can be an issue I don't get the hand wringing and hysteria it causes. Tv is down time to me. Why shouldn't dcs be able to switch off occasionally with an ancient dvd or an appropriate tv programme?

And I have a tv in my room too. Tbh I could live without it but dp loves watching tv in bed on a Sunday morning. He works hard the rest of the week so I tolerate it.

As long as it isn't wired into an aerial and only has a dvd player I can't see the harm.

TheMagnificientFour · 25/04/2015 18:30

Do what feels right to you.
Don't listen to people (let alone children) who tell you it's OK to do X and then end up feeling like you should just to conform.

I am not keen on TV (or Xbox etc...) so we don't have any of those (DH agrees of course), not even a TV in the living room.
The dcs have asked a lot. The answer is just NO.

It might be that what you are deciding isn't what most people would do. So what?
Seriously, if you think it's not appropriate to have a TV in her bedroom, then just don't do it!
(Note: as a 6yo, a child will have very little experience as to what happens in other people's houses. So her being gobsmacked is more a reflection of her lack of experience that the fact it's a strange idea for your dd not to have one!)

TheMagnificientFour · 25/04/2015 18:33

Oh and you will have LOT of people telling you that it's not an issue.
And a LOT of people telling you you should never do that.

None of it tells you what is right for you and your family.

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 18:38

Oh and you will have LOT of people telling you that it's not an issue.
And a LOT of people telling you you should never do that.

Summary of 99% of MN AIBU right there.

madmother1 · 25/04/2015 18:44

When my kids used to pull this stunt, I'd just say that every family has different rules. It is far too young to have a TV. My 14 year old has one, but generally only watches football on it. No x box or ps in our house either. I think we just missed that phase luckily.

WeAllHaveWings · 25/04/2015 19:00

ds(11) got his first TV in his room at Xmas. He only uses it for x-box and occasionally playing/watching music/minecraft videos on youtube. Recently, with the better weather its barely been on.

He has (so far) no interest in watching TV in the morning or bedtime (if he did it wouldn't be allowed anyway). Still prefers to read books at bedtime.

I think 6 is too young, but older I don't have a problem with TV in room (yet!)

catgirl1976 · 25/04/2015 19:22

The house we moved into this year is wired up for TVs in nearly every room. Living room, dining room, all of the bedrooms.

We have one in the living room only. I don't believe in TVs in bedrooms for adults or children. YANBU

Charlotte3333 · 25/04/2015 19:28

DS1 is 9 and had a tv in his room for his 9th birthday and we bought him an Apple tv for christmas. He's responsible enough to know not to dick about with it, it's got parental controls on and, ultimately, while he loves his tv he's also incredibly bright and sporty, so I'm not concerned.

What I do think, though, is that tbs in bedrooms should be very closely regulated. On lazy weekends I'm fine about the DCs watching tv in DS1's room on a Saturday morning. He doesn't ever watch it before bed or fall asleep to it, I've never known him to abuse it, and he doesn't watch it at all on weekdays as he's so busy. For us it's about balance; so long as he's happily doing his homework, working hard at school and getting plenty of exercise (he does rugby, judo, cricket, swimming and horse riding weekly) I can live with him watching a movie on his own.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 25/04/2015 22:03

I used to teach secondary and had year 7 kids complaining of head aches in the same breath as discussing the plot of the previous night's episode of CSI, shown at a time I had decided was too late for me to watch because of work in the morning...

Obviously for some it works (especially with proper parental controls) - but equally for others it can be a big deal...

goldopals · 25/04/2015 22:17

Mum and dad let me get a TV in my room when I could afford to buy it. I think that was age 17 and I bought it with my tax returns

Libitina · 25/04/2015 22:20

We have a no TV in any bedroom rule.

Same here. My son is now 22 and still chooses to have no TV in his room.

I don't agree with parents using tv to help get a child to sleep. We always read to him when he was little and then when he was older, he read himself before 'lights out'.

OP YANBU.

Libitina · 25/04/2015 22:22

We do have a fuckoff BIG tv in the living room though to make up for it.

dietcokeandwine · 25/04/2015 22:35

YANBU OP.

No TVs in bedrooms here, for either the DC or us. Never have had and never will have.

I'm actually fairly chilled about screen time and the DC have their fair share of tv programmes, iPad and computer games etc but I have a cast iron rule that no house of mine will ever have a tv in an upstairs room.

MillionToOneChances · 25/04/2015 22:36

The first time I had a TV in my room I was 17. I would have the TV on near-silent until the early hours. No TVs in bedrooms.

Jumbooats · 25/04/2015 23:17

Absolutely no way Jose- bed time is book time.

tulipgrower · 25/04/2015 23:30

My DS1 (6) wants to become a catholic, because the kids we know who did Holy Communion this year received, amongst other presents, huge TV's for their bedrooms.
No screens of any size and shape in bedrooms as long as we can avoid it.

18yearsoftrying · 26/04/2015 01:58

Blimey. When I was a child the issue was about having a phone

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6