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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to let DD have a tv in her bedroom?

137 replies

sashangel · 23/04/2015 11:48

My DD is 6. She has started the going to friends for tea. Her friend came to our house for tea yesterday and asked if they could put the tv on in her room. She said that she didn't have one and her friend looked gobsmacked. She told her that she had always had one and watches in bed on a night to go to sleep. She has now asked for a tv in her room.
AIBU not to let her have one with very strict limits on times she can watch?

OP posts:
Teapot74 · 23/04/2015 15:44

We have a no TV rule in bedrooms in this house. (12 &13 yo). Not one in ours or the kitchen either. When we were looking at houses we were gobsmacked and a bit sickened by the number of TV's that some people have. (no phones or computers upstairs either but that is a constant battle)

maninawomansworld · 23/04/2015 16:01

We don't allow TV / games consoles / phones etc in bedrooms. Kids have a playroom for that sort of stuff - bedroom is for wind down type activities such as reading or sleeping in.
That goes for myself and DW too, the only electronic device in our room is the alarm clock.

Stanky · 23/04/2015 16:18

No tv in dc's rooms here. I had 1 from around age 9 growing up, and a tv/video from age 14. I watched videos from the time I got in from school until after I fell asleep. I add my dinner in my bedroom away from the rest of the family. Not great.

Stanky · 23/04/2015 16:19

*ate. I don't have a tv in my bedroom now either. I think that it's better that it stays down stairs, and bedrooms are for sleeping and relaxing.

Walkingonsunshine00 · 23/04/2015 16:20

Dd was 14 when she got one but doesn't use it much

crapfatbanana · 23/04/2015 16:21

YANBU. We don't do tellies in bedrooms.

Andrewofgg · 23/04/2015 17:10

Micah Who mentioned porn? There is plenty of good non-porn on Sky. My point is that nobody - certainly not a child - needs that many channels; there are plenty of other and better things to do than watch the goggle-box.

kinkyfuckery · 23/04/2015 17:21

Andrew who mentioned Sky? Wink

Micah · 23/04/2015 17:24

Sorry Andrew it was meowth who said porn is only available if you pay for it- inferring "normal" telly doesn't show stuff which might be disturbing for children.

kinkyfuckery · 23/04/2015 17:24

My kids used to have one in their room, as it meant I had control of the TV when I wanted to do the ironing on a Sunday afternoon and they could have cBeebies on in their room if they liked. They also occasionally got to watch a movie in bed on a Friday or Saturday night.

Then we moved, and they have their own rooms now, but we only had one 'bedroom TV', so it's in my room. They don't use it. If there's fights over what to watch, they get their tablets with headphones in the living room, and very occasionally upstairs if they have a friend over to play (they like to use it for music)

usualsuspect333 · 23/04/2015 17:28

My kids had TVs in their bedrooms. I have a TV in my bedroom.

Bad Mother.

Shockers · 23/04/2015 17:32

My children (16 &14) don't and never will in my house. We have one TV, in the sitting room, which is enough for us as a family.

Morelikeguidelines · 23/04/2015 17:33

No tvs in bedrooms at all. Very detrimental to sleep.

QueenofallIsee · 23/04/2015 17:37

My Mum brought the kids TVs + multi room subscription for Xmas, I wasn't thrilled - they are 16, 9,9 and 8 and I went all 'parental controlly' about it etc. DP then put one in OUR room, which I hated. The kids literally never use their TVs preferring instead to pile into my bed (all 4 of them!) and watch TV in there, usually on a Sat when I am trying to sleep. Its actually fine but I would not have got them myself

exLtEveDallasNoBollocks · 23/04/2015 17:41

It doesn't really bother me.

DD got a TV in her room when we moved, because we had a 'spare'. She was 9 then. She rarely watches it. Only really if she has a sleepover and they stay in bed after they've woken up.

I've got one in my bedroom, but it's never watched. It used to be when DH did the ironing up there, but he does it in the playroom now.

I don't suppose I'd like it much if DD was up there all the time, but for now it doesn't bother me. I don't like kids that have to TV on to fall asleep to though, I think it promotes bad sleep habits later on.

WyrdByrd · 23/04/2015 17:41

YANBU.

DD had my dad's old portable TV/DVD player in her room at 8, purely so she could use her karaoke machine and have a DVD on if a friend came for a sleepover - it's never been linked to television channels as there is no aerial or satellite connection in her room and getting one put in would cost £££, so thankfully we have a cast iron 'excuse' for no telly.

She is nearly 11 and since getting a laptop for Christmas has asked us to take the TV out as she can watch DVD's on that and doesn't really use the karaoke machine.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 17:44

YANBU. If that's how you feel, that's how you feel.

TVs in all bedrooms here. That's how I felt. Boys are teens now and in their friendship groups it's the norm TBF.

Anyone mentioned 'sleep hygiene' yet?

wingsandstrings · 23/04/2015 18:20

Your DD will come home regularly with things her friends have/are allowed to do, and ask you make it happen for her too . . . . . resist, parent how you want to parent. Half of what her friends tell her probably isn't true, but anyway it's important for her to learn that she doesn't have to be exactly the same as other kids.

Andrewofgg · 23/04/2015 18:23

She is also telling her friends about all the things she has and they don't (truthfully or not) and they are telling their parents.

'Twas ever thus, except of course that MNers were all perfect children, polite, honest, biddable, angelic, isn't that right?

MrsGrimes · 23/04/2015 18:34

YANBU.

Personally I wouldn't consider one for DS until he's in his teens, 14/15 sort of age and he wants his own space to chill out every now and then. I find the thought of a TV in a child's room quite isolating and not good for sleep as others have mentioned. DS is only 4, but I can't imagine in two years time wanting him to sit alone in his room watching TV while DP and I were in the living room. And least if we're altogether watching TV there's still interaction and the opportunity to all be involved in whatever is going on around the house.

My parents got me a TV for my room when I was 11. And a computer in my room too. DB had the same in his room. We never interacted with our parents much after that except for eating dinner together. And I would stay up late watching TV in bed and feel knackered the next day.

Your DD is going to pick up on her friends having things she doesn't. Just because "all her friends have one" doesn't mean she has to.

NotGoingOut17 · 23/04/2015 18:37

No way would I let a 6 yr old have a TV in their room. The first TV I had in my room at home was the one I brought home from uni - I was 21 and had bought it myself. No child is missing out because they don't have a TV in their room.

pointythings · 23/04/2015 18:40

YANBU, we don't have TVs in any of the bedrooms, including our own, and we also have a no tablets or consoles rule in bedrooms which applies to all of us. Bedrooms are for sleeping.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 18:41

I love the TV in our bedroom. I watch it then I switch it off and still sleep.

Gatehouse77 · 23/04/2015 18:46

We've always said no as, for us, the bedroom is a sanctuary and calm place for sleep, relaxation and quiet.

MyFriendsCallMeOh · 23/04/2015 18:49

We have a no screens upstairs rule. The blue light given by screens can have a negative effect on ability to get to sleep and also quality of sleep. We're pretty relaxed about most things but this is nonnegotiable.