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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to let DD have a tv in her bedroom?

137 replies

sashangel · 23/04/2015 11:48

My DD is 6. She has started the going to friends for tea. Her friend came to our house for tea yesterday and asked if they could put the tv on in her room. She said that she didn't have one and her friend looked gobsmacked. She told her that she had always had one and watches in bed on a night to go to sleep. She has now asked for a tv in her room.
AIBU not to let her have one with very strict limits on times she can watch?

OP posts:
RockMummy · 23/04/2015 19:08

No gadgets in bedrooms rule in this house too .DS is 11 and hasn't expressed any desire for any. This includes the adults and also includes mobile phones. Bedrooms are for sleeping in!

StrumpersPlunkett · 23/04/2015 19:11

not in our house
yanbu
We have one tv in the house in the sitting room, it isn't something we want them focusing on.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 19:14

DS1 (15) has a TV in his room, and a laptop, and an Ipad and the PS4 and his phone.

Just been up to see him and he's revising, so not on screens or sleeping. Shock

museumum · 23/04/2015 19:17

I don't want my ds to have one and dh and I gave ours away when analogue switched off.
There are two cable box linked TVs in the house which should be enough for three people imo.

Original poster
sashangel · 23/04/2015 19:21

Thanks. I don't feel like an ogre now. I spoke with the friends mum after school today and she said they had tvs in practically every room Shock. A few others who were stood with us said that their kids had tv/dvd in their rooms.
I like that I am woken on a morning to her reading. At 7 this morning it was James and the Giant Peach very loudly Smile.

OP posts:
Notso · 23/04/2015 19:25

I wouldn't get one for a 6 year old.
DD 14 got one at 12 she had it just for watching DVD's at first. Recently it's been connected so she can watch TV too, mainly so we don't all have to sit through Eastenders.
I used to have a no gadgets in bedrooms rule but then the two youngest were always bugging the older ones, particularly if they had friends over which caused lots of arguments. So now there is no gadgets in bedrooms after 8PM for DS1 and after 9PM for DD which works well.

reni1 · 23/04/2015 19:30

I thought this was going to be about a 16yo dd. At 6 I'd argue it'd be unreasonable to allow it. Yanbu at all. Revisit at 12 or 14.

Sparklingbrook · 23/04/2015 19:33

Yes I think the no gadgets/screens in bedrooms idea is fine but when you have teenagers it's impossible.

Gatehouse77 · 25/04/2015 16:12

Sparlkingbrook I disagree that it's impossible.

We have one TV in the living room and one in the playroom/dumping ground but is only for games consoles. Our children are 15, 14 and 12.

We simply said, no! And would not allow them to buy one. They can watch videos, etc. on their gadgets but ALL gadgets have to be left downstairs at bedtime.

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 16:14

We don't have a playroom/dumping ground.

You do what works for your own family, and it would be impossible for us.

DextersMistress · 25/04/2015 16:20

This again? Op your kid, your rules. Fwiw my dc have a tv in their room, it's for early mornings only when I don't want to get up yet and never on at bedtime.

fulltothebrim · 25/04/2015 16:22

I wouldn't get one for a 6 year old. Falling asleep in front of the TV is not a good habit- and very lazy parenting.
Children need a calm wind down routine to ensure a good sleep health.
Allowing a TV to entertain them until they crash out is for the parent's benefit- not the child's.

DextersMistress · 25/04/2015 16:23

Sorry posted too soon. My point is that you can have a television in a bedroom without it affecting sleep.

Mehitabel6 · 25/04/2015 16:24

Of course it isn't impossible! I stood firm - it didn't make me very popular but I can't see why anyone wants TVs in bedrooms- I certainly don't.
They can read.
I thought you were going to say a teenager , in which case I would still say no - but at 6 yrs absolutely no way!

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 16:29

I am happy with my decision. It's not a problem, My two are 13 and 15 and don't watch things I or DH want to watch, and they need a screen for the PS4 which I don't want in the living room.

Mehitabel6 · 25/04/2015 16:37

Most do. I was hard, they had to go in the kitchen.

Mrsjayy · 25/04/2015 16:37

My dds had a in their room but we never got a signal so they used it for videos and then Dvds at the weekend only. I see nothing to get worked up about but you dont have to get her a tv if you dont want her to its no biggie

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 16:39

For some strange reason tvs in bedrooms are always a massive biggie on MN. Grin

Another thing you don't even think about until there's another thread about it.

fakenamefornow · 25/04/2015 16:46

We have one TV, it's in the living room, we don't need another. I would say no screens in bedrooms but I think this could be difficult as they get older just because they'll probably need internet access to do homework.

Lazarusbal · 25/04/2015 16:52

Our 14 year old was told he could have one in his room when we got one in ours. Think the realisation hit him around 8/9 that that meant never ??. We're happy enough for him to pay for it himself if he's still here when he's bringing money in though. Smile

morethanpotatoprints · 25/04/2015 16:57

YANBU

I too had this with all 3 of mine, friends had them in rooms.
As parents we don't believe in tvs in rooms for kids, it's just our belief so they didn't get one.
I suppose it depends on the strength of your view and if you are the type to succumb to peer pressure.
Mine soon got used to me saying no and it was futile to keep asking Grin

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 17:05

Sometimes it's just practical.

Lazarusbal · 25/04/2015 17:11

morethanpotatoprints covers so much with "mine soon got used to me saying no and it was futile to keep asking"

morethanpotatoprints · 25/04/2015 17:20

I can see for some people its practical and don't wish to appear smug or holier than thou.
It's hard work being a strict parent and for us it was borne out of fear, I'll admit.
We have been saying no to peer pressure for about 20 years now, and it continues with dd for the next 7 or so years.
Even as teens we said no, especially to internet access away from communal areas. Nothing allowed in bedrooms except cd/ stereo system.
Ds2 is still at home he is 20 and has tv for x box and obviously has his phone/ internet access now.

Sparklingbrook · 25/04/2015 17:28

I don't listen to peer pressure. TVs and gadgets in bedrooms had nothing to do with peer pressure for us. They have never asked for them because their friends have them, they had them for Christmas/Birthday as they wanted one. Or saved up for things and got them themselves.

Every MN thread about it (of which there have been loads) just prove that as ever every family is individual and there are no rights and wrongs. It's just family life and getting on with it.