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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear white to a wedding?

111 replies

umbongoumbongo · 22/04/2015 23:30

Am on a budget and have seen a broderie anglaise knee length dress that is understated and not 'wedding dressy' at all that would be wearable for other things as a summer dress. I could add a belt or sash to break up the colour along with bright accessories. Is it still considered a massive faux pas to wear white?

OP posts:
Maryz · 23/04/2015 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverBlur · 23/04/2015 00:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GraysAnalogy · 23/04/2015 00:54

Sorry didn't realise you were talking to another poster not the OP

MsPerfect · 23/04/2015 01:05

If I was getting married within the next few weeks and a guest called me to ask if it was ok to wear white I think I'd be rendered speechless! Even the most relaxed of brides have better things to worry about than a guest's outfit in the weeks running up to the day. Don't call her.

And don't wear white. You run the risk of major side-eye from other guests at the very least.

Depends in your budget, but new look, Dorothy Perkins, and even primark could be good. I once found a dress for the evening part of a wedding in primark for under a tenner!

Original poster
umbongoumbongo · 23/04/2015 01:28

Don't think my friend would care MsPerfect; she's very unfussy like myself and I've helped her a lot with stuff for the wedding so we are quite close but I'm leaving it anyway.

SilverBlur; new DP has seen photos of me in it at another wedding last year with ex on social media so would be nicer for him not to be reminded really and I'd like something 'fresh'. I'm sure something will turn up on the cheap! I'm quite handy with a needle and thread!

OP posts:
ItsNotTrueThough · 23/04/2015 01:31

It would only take a quick call though. Are brides really too busy to take a phone call in the weeks running up to their wedding. That doesn't sound much fun Sad

ItsNotTrueThough · 23/04/2015 01:32

Xpost. Blush

Original poster
umbongoumbongo · 23/04/2015 01:42

ItsNotTrue; I do think people can work themselves up a bit about these weddings - I know she wouldn't be offended at all should I ask or too busy to answer a call! They are a lovely laid back couple and the wedding won't be one of those staid affairs where it has been controlled to death!

OP posts:
MonstrousRatbag · 23/04/2015 02:00

What's the budget?
This [http://t0.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcSF51-nxfXJGWQrEcK8HOsFmO-AIxNUXn597vKHDDdVZB8YyptGjk0DVwSyh--GvbYH7DpLDbsB&usqp=CAY ASOS]] one is nice, £65.

hite Stuff has this red one for £5 less.

Original poster
umbongoumbongo · 23/04/2015 02:16

The red one is lovely; thanks for the links. However the white one I liked was just under £50 and that was stretching it (but could double up as summer dress for holidays etc to get a bit more bang for my buck) so it's probably a bit over budget as doubt I'd wear it much in that colour. I'm mostly found in wellies and old polo shirts! That sort of style is lovely though. I'm quite curvy and a bit sceptical of ordering online unless it's a brand I know what size/cut I am as often end up with baggy waistline and stretched bum/hips/bust! Don't really want to pay much more than £30 if it's more of a 'weddingy' dress. Skinflint!

OP posts:
snowglobemouse · 23/04/2015 02:36

honestly dying it will work out fine, you can't really go wrong even with cold water dylon in a bucket. use machine dye if you're worried.

there may be elements of the dress that remain white (some stitching/ribbons/whatever) but that doesn't matter!

paxtecum · 23/04/2015 05:10

Dyeing it will not work. The embroidery thread will probably be polyester so will not change colour.

Justyouwaitandsee · 23/04/2015 05:24

What about trying Roman? Loads of suitably wedding-y dresses for under £50.

This one comes in 3 colours:
www.romanoriginals.co.uk/invt/70908?colour=Blue

ApocalypseThen · 23/04/2015 06:30

Do you know anyone who might lend you a dress?

bottleofbeer · 23/04/2015 07:39

My sil wore a long white dress to mine. I was wearing red but she didn't know that.

MustBeLoopy390 · 23/04/2015 07:45

Ask the bride. I personally didn't give two figs about what colour or style our guests wore, we had 3 in white (one short bodycon dress, one 1950s prom dress and one plain maxi with brightly colour accessories and cardi), two in black and you could still tell who the bride was! I also (shock horror) had black on my dress, and as one of our 'colours'.

YAsoNBU · 23/04/2015 07:53

As a soon to be bride it really wouldn't bother me - but then I'm not wearing white myself.

I understand that other guests may take offence on my behalf though!

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams · 23/04/2015 07:59

Do you have a TKMaxx you can have a dig around at? You have to be in the mood for a rummage, but I've had a couple of nice wedding-y outfits from there, generally around the £30 mark.

eurochick · 23/04/2015 08:06

My step mil wore white to mine. I couldn't have cared less but some people did comment. My mum and mil both wore black. They looked lovely and felt comfortable, which is what mattered to me.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 23/04/2015 08:08

Have a look at Lindy Bop - dresses at around £35.

mrsdavidbowie · 23/04/2015 08:10

This is why I avoided going to weddings. I hate dressing up as I look like Grayson Perry in a dress.
Thank god everyone I know is either married or divorced.

Model5 · 23/04/2015 08:15

Would DP even notice that you're wearing the same dress and if he did why would he care? I expect he'll be wearing a suit/shirt that he wore on occasions with exes.

As others have said, you can't wear white. Even if the bride doesn't care, others will. I actually think the dress you've picked is quite weddingy. I could see myself wearing that as the bride at a low key wedding.

If you're just looking for a simple summer dress you can wear again, there must be loads in all sorts of colours available - there's a blue one that comes up on the same page, similar shape and more wearable IMO.

Shakirasma · 23/04/2015 08:20

Joe Browns have some amazing dresses that easily dress up for a wedding and dress down for summer.

dragdownthemoon · 23/04/2015 08:24

Don't wear white. A friend of DH wore ivory to our wedding, I wasn't aware at the time and wasn't fussed but lots of my friends made comments - particularly because she was trying to make the day about her "I've know MrDragDown for soooo long it's such a huge moment for me seeing my little MrDraggy get married oh sob sniff where are my TISSUES" etc. more than one of my friends asked me who the "weirdo clearly obsessed with your husband" was...

Even if the bride doesn't care there is the possibility that other people will think you are making some kind of statement.

I have a slightly odd picture of her hugging me and you can't really tell where her outfit stops and mine starts, we are like one big Ivory blob lol

zfactor · 23/04/2015 08:25

If it's a society wedding or a traditional church one, then don't wear white (or black, red or green). Otherwise, if the bride doesn't mind, it matters not what anyone else thinks.

Most of these 'rules' are outdated now; use your common sense to see if anyone whose opinion matters is likely to be 'offended'; if not, ignore the rules. (There will always be people who will make snide comments about what other people wear - I think they only go to weddings to do this actually - they are usually people who have an over-inflated view of their own 'poshness' - but they are usually small-minded, insecure fools, so you can ignore them).