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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sending child to school with tonsillitis

64 replies

dippylongstocking · 22/04/2015 00:11

DS did not go to school today due to tonsillitis, (very sore throat, swollen tonsils, coughing, high temperature, generally feeling poorly). When I spoke to school receptionist this morning, she was a bit off with me, but I put it down to it being early morning. I called again this afternoon to let them know that doc has advised DS stay home for next couple of days at least, and the receptionist made some funny comments about children pulling sickies and parents being fined if their children miss too much school. She also said that there was nothing in the 'rules' that said a child cannot attend school with a sore throat and that I shouldn't 'mollycoddle the boy'.

She upset me quite a bit. I made it clear that DS is genuinely ill and the doctor has advised he doesn't go to school for a bit, but receptionist has made me feel horrible and stupid. (So much so, I've worried about it all day, and now I can't sleep.) WIBU to complain?

OP posts:

Variousrandomthings · 22/04/2015 00:30

Yes. Email the head. She's a receptionist, which is a first contact position needing good people skills. The head needs to know about her attitude, the receptionist needs extra training on how to deal with parents positively and constructively. It's not her place to judge the seriousness of the illness, your parenting or to make you feel silly, I think she was very disrespectful to you.

VenusRising · 22/04/2015 00:35

Ring the head.
Ask her if she knows her receptionist is a snippy busybody, and a caah to boot. I bet she worked in a GPS surgery

Hope your little boy is feeling much better soon. Tonsillitus is a rotten dose, and you are doing your best for him by letting him rest and heal.

steff13 · 22/04/2015 00:37

Tonsillitis is the worst. Complain to the head and tell the receptionist to hush up and keep her snidey comments to herself.

ilovesooty · 22/04/2015 00:45

She was unprofessional. Complain.

DarthVadersTailor · 22/04/2015 00:51

The receptionist is clearly a twat. Why pay any attention to what some jumped up little idiot says anyway?!

Ignore. Report if you feel it necessary. But definitely do not listen to them!! You're absolutely doing the right thing by your child and everyone elses too as tonsillitis is not just a 'sore throat' by any stretch.

Topseyt · 22/04/2015 02:54

Yes, mention it to the head if you can. Is the receptionist really advising parents of sick children to send them in to school? Since when was a medical degree a prerequisite to become a school receptionist?

Also, the woman has clearly never had tonsillitis or she wouldn't be calling it just a sore throat. It is horrendous. Getting rid of my tonsils was the best thing I ever did.

I hope your little one is better soon.

Variousrandomthings · 22/04/2015 06:58

The Gp is thinking about your DC's health, the secretary was thinking about the school attendance figures and was bloody rude.

LindyHemming · 22/04/2015 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ConfusedInBath · 22/04/2015 07:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 22/04/2015 07:01

Clearly thinking about attendance etc but what's the attendance of all the other children going to be like when they catch tonsilitis? Not only is she an interfering twat but a total idiot.
Id mention something to the headteacher, perhaps the receptionists are pressured into getting children to come in? not that it's an excuse for being so rude.

Penfold007 · 22/04/2015 07:03

The receptionist is correct in that guidelines now say that a child can go to school with tonsilitus if they well enough. However it is not her place to comment on your parenting or decide on your child's fitness for school. I'd complain to the head by email.

EquinoxEclipse · 22/04/2015 07:13

Good luck, my dd's head teacher called me 4 times in a day to try and make her come in for her SATs when she had tonsillitis

EquinoxEclipse · 22/04/2015 07:14

Hope ds feels better soon, tonsillitis is vile

Charis1 · 22/04/2015 07:18

To be fair, tonsillitis is not infectious and can last many weeks. You wouldn't keep a child off school for the entire duration of a tonsillitis attack, especially if they have them regularly.

Janethegirl · 22/04/2015 07:23

I used to send dd to school with tonsillitis as if I'd kept her off, her attendance would have been awful. She still gets it around 6 times a year and although she can feel very ill, she doesn't even mention it now (as she gets no sympathy from me bad mum)

NotNob · 22/04/2015 07:25

Charis1 - tonsillitis is infectious

Chuckitinthefuckitbucket · 22/04/2015 07:25

I thought one type of tonsilitis was contagious? Bacterial?

fulltothebrim · 22/04/2015 07:32

Yes- bacterial tonsilitis is infectious.

daisyswirl · 22/04/2015 07:34

My daughter is 11 and had tonsilitis for the first time in december. She was really poorly and infectious as it was bacterial. She had it again in february and was even worse with hallucinations due to high temperature. There was no way in hell i would have sent her to school and if the school receptionist ( who to be honest is lovely at our school) had said that to me she'd have been told in no uncertain way what she could do with her "medical" advice!

hoobypickypicky · 22/04/2015 07:34

Charis1 tonsillitis is infectious.

I'd email the head to ask where the receptionist got her medical qualifications from inform her that I don't expect and won't accept medical advice or judgement on my parenting from office staff.

Tonsillitis can be horrific. Twice last year one of my DC ended up on a drip in hospital because of it.

I hope your son's better very soon dippy.

BlackeyedSusan · 22/04/2015 07:36

email the head and remind him that the receptionist is most definitely not as qualified in medicine as the GP, who has had at leat 10 years training to be a GP. unfortunaltey this would not have worked with the previous HT at school as he thought he was more qualified to diagnose dd's allergy than the specialist hospital allergy clinic at a top teachng hospital that diagnosed it in the first place.

Charis1 · 22/04/2015 07:38

Charis1 tonsillitis is infectious

No it isn't.

JustWantToBeDorisAgain · 22/04/2015 07:39

Not all tonsillitis is infective dd has had massively enlarged tonsilis since the beginning of December ( we are now awaiting ENT). It is not a bacterial infection and so she is no risk to other dc.

In this instance the child is clearly unwell and not fit for school and the receptionist has no say whatsoever on your decision as a parent to keep him home!

fulltothebrim · 22/04/2015 07:44

*What causes tonsillitis?

Some cases can also be caused by a bacterial infection, typically a strain of bacteria called group A streptococcus bacteria.

These types of infections spread easily, so it's important to try to avoid passing the infection on to others by:

staying away from public places, such as work, school or nursery until your GP says it's safe to return (this will usually be after the symptoms have passed)
coughing and sneezing into a tissue and disposing of the tissue 
washing hands before eating, after going to the toilet and, if possible, after coughing and sneezing

Source: www.nhs.uk/conditions/Tonsillitis/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Charis1 · 22/04/2015 07:47

precisely, it can be caused by the child catching and infection, but cannot be infectious itself.

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