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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sending child to school with tonsillitis

64 replies

dippylongstocking · 22/04/2015 00:11

DS did not go to school today due to tonsillitis, (very sore throat, swollen tonsils, coughing, high temperature, generally feeling poorly). When I spoke to school receptionist this morning, she was a bit off with me, but I put it down to it being early morning. I called again this afternoon to let them know that doc has advised DS stay home for next couple of days at least, and the receptionist made some funny comments about children pulling sickies and parents being fined if their children miss too much school. She also said that there was nothing in the 'rules' that said a child cannot attend school with a sore throat and that I shouldn't 'mollycoddle the boy'.

She upset me quite a bit. I made it clear that DS is genuinely ill and the doctor has advised he doesn't go to school for a bit, but receptionist has made me feel horrible and stupid. (So much so, I've worried about it all day, and now I can't sleep.) WIBU to complain?

OP posts:
Orangeanddemons · 22/04/2015 07:47

I'm shocked at people who send their dc to school with tonsillitis. It makes you feel really really I'll. it's not just a sore throat, or a cold.

As for the receptionist, I'd tell her to shove it where the sun don't shine. Cheeky cow!

Becles · 22/04/2015 07:53

Agree with suggestions that you let the school know that you are not happy with the way you were spoken to.

Just as unimpressed TBH by some of the responses from posters agreeing the receptionist was rude to the OP, yet calling the receptionist: twat, caaah (cow), jumped up busybody, idiot etc.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2015 07:53

How unprofessional. I would keep ds off, and contact the head, it is not her place to speak to you like that. If there were concerns about sickness, it should come from the HT.

Mrsbobdylan · 22/04/2015 07:56

Defo complain-not within her remit to medically assess your child as fit for school. I had tonsillitus for the first time this year and it was horrendous. I was hallucinating and my throat was so swollen I had to tilt my head back to be able to breathe.

Hope your ds feels better soon.Flowers

bruffin · 22/04/2015 08:04

To be fair, tonsillitis is not infectious and can last many weeks. You wouldn't keep a child off school for the entire duration of a tonsillitis attack, especially if they have them regularly.

I was not in a fit state to go to school with tonsillitis for weeks on end. I would have a week off, then go back for a day and be ill again for the rest of the week. tonsillitis is not just a sore throat, it's horrible and i was very ill from it. I had my tonsils removed when I was 10 in the end as I was missing so much school.

namechangeafternamechange · 22/04/2015 08:12

Another one here who has been hospitalised with tonsillitis Sad I can honestly say that, when I first became unwell, I have never felt so ill in my life and definitely not just a case of a 'sore throat'. My temp was 40+ but I couldn't swallow tablets that would help bring it down, in actual fact I couldn't swallow my own saliva.

On the basis of personal experience I wouldn't send ds in and complain to the HT about the lack of person skills and unprofessional attitude of the attendance nazi.

MadamG · 22/04/2015 08:14

I am currently off work with tonisillitis. yanbu. It's horrible. I can't function.

Kewcumber · 22/04/2015 08:28

YEs alwyas worth splitting hairs about whether your child has an infection which caused tonsillitis which is infectious or whether the tonsillitis itself which is infectious.

It matters to pedants like me (tonsillitis just means inflamed tonsils) but in practical terms not so much.

I have had tonsillitis mild enough that I've worked through it reasonably easily and tonsilitis so bad that my parents had to come up to university and pick me up and bring me home for two weeks as I could barely get out of bed.

You have to judge which end of the spectrum your child is on and if a GP (who has seen them) has suggested they stay at home for a couple of days over a receptionist who hasn;t then I'd go with that Hmm

I don;t find GP's overly quick to suggest children stay off school.

Kewcumber · 22/04/2015 08:30

Orange - tonsillitis can just be a sore throat.

Fluffyears · 22/04/2015 08:40

I'd have asked her when she got her medical degree. A trained medical professional has advised you keep him off and let him rest so that should be the end of it. I'd complain and say he's infectious so you'll send him in and gave the school will be off...hopefully the receptionist gets it first.

Schnullerbacke · 22/04/2015 08:47

Wow, just wow. I really don't know what else I can say.

The stricter attendance figures and guidelines were brought in because apparently we really care for our children and their education. Now we care so much, that it has become more important for the stats to look good, rather than how those children feel.

Momagain1 · 22/04/2015 08:47

*What causes tonsillitis?

Some cases can also be caused by a bacterial infection, typically a strain of bacteria called group A streptococcus bacteria.

These types of infections spread easily, so it's important to try to avoid passing the infection on to others by:*

So inconvenient when two different conditions, requiring two different protocols, are tagged with the same name! I have wondered why children in the UK get tonsilitus so often and children in the US so rarely. We call this kind 'strep throat' and schools send children home at the least suspicion of strep.

frostyfingers · 22/04/2015 08:52

I'd quietly send an email to the receptionist along the lines of "further to our telephone conversation I'm letting you know that DS will not be in school for the next two days due to tonsilitis. I have been advised by Dr. (I'd put doctor's name here and surgery) that he needs at least two days away from school before he will be well enough to attend." Copy it into the Head so that there's no room for doubt.

The receptionist was very unprofessional to say the least, but I wouldn't respond by being snarky back in any way either directly or to the head - I'd take a more roundabout approach (I'm very non confrontational so just couldn't!).

Hope he feels better soon, I've had tonsilitis many times and if it takes hold it's a really horrible illness.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 22/04/2015 08:52

It being morning is no excuse or defence for down right rudeness.
Receptionists are not allowed their off days.!

Topseyt · 22/04/2015 08:58

I too have been in hospital on a drip with tonsillitis. It had turned to quinsy (abscesses on the tonsils).

That occurred several times. Horrendous. I could barely breathe. The ENT consultant and my GP both told me quinsy can turn life threatening very quickly. I booked a tonsillectomy and I am so glad I did.

Bacterial tonsillitis is the infectious one, I believe, and may lead on to other things. Anyone saying it is just a sore throat has certainly never had it at its worst.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2015 09:03

I wOwle infòrm the hT of the receptionists behaviour, not only was she rude, but she was very unprofessional.

Variousrandomthings · 22/04/2015 09:34

I think it would have been different if the secretary had asked compassionately if he was really ill with it, then wished him better, adding that he can come back to school when it's not as bad.

I think you do need to complain to the head though as the secretary seems far too big for her boots. Some like to think they wield some power, when infact they should be using polite customer service skills and seeing parents/kids as the customers.

Original poster
dippylongstocking · 22/04/2015 12:53

Thanks everyone.

I did mention it to the HT this morning when I dropped DD to school and he thanked me for informing him and said he would deal with it. I got the impression mine was not the first complaint.

(Incidentally, another parent informed me that the receptionist previously worked as a receptionist at our local A&E.)

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 22/04/2015 12:57

That's good, I think that the receptionist due to her past work, feels she is as qualified as a medical Doctor to give a judgement, yes she does need correcting. She cannot treat parents like that.

mrssnodge · 22/04/2015 13:00

I had tonsillitis on my wedding day- never felt so ill in my life, no way would I send any chld to school feeling like that!!

GoodbyeToAllOfThat · 22/04/2015 13:05

In my almost 13 years as a mother, tonsilitis has been the absolute worst thing I've ever seen either of my kids through. I can't believe anyone, much less a school receptionist, would suggest that a kid can just soldier through.

Madeyemoodysmum · 22/04/2015 13:07

My two had there toncils out as one would get it then pass it to the other. This was a cycle that continued for years till they came out so toncillitus is most dinfinetly infectious!!!!!

I'd report this attitude as my two had a lot of time off due to this horrible illness. No way were they well enough to be at school. Its not a little sore throat at all.

Topseyt · 22/04/2015 13:16

OP, hope your son starts to perk up today. Is he on antibiotics? Hopefully they start kicking in soon.

Uhplistrailer · 22/04/2015 13:23

You really can't win.

Ds's school supposedly follows the hpa infection control guidelines.

When I sent him in with conjunctivitis as I was worried they would fine us if I went against the recommendations of the hpa guidance and kept him home (hpa recommends no exclusion from school for conjunctivitis), they bloody sent him home again!

Tonsilitis is grim. I'd ignore the school if I were you.

Whatisaweekend · 22/04/2015 13:27

Well done you! The officious cow needs putting in her place. She is not a GP and whilst any illness can be mild enough to allow a child to function, she is not the one best placed to make that judgement. I have had tonsilitis many times over the years - sometimes going into work was fine, other times I was sobbing with pain and utterly terrified of having to swallow. Just awful. Hope the wee one is on the mend soon.