AIBU to be annoyed by dentist's response?

[SleepRefugee]

Reposted from children's health for traffic!

Hello everyone. Took my daughter (4) to the dentist today as we've noticed some erosion/decay (tiny gap between front teeth) but she took one look, said there's nothing they can do and proceeded to tell me off for allowing her juice . I know juice isn't great, my daughter will dehydrate herself to the point of constipation though. Anyway, we are working on cutting down on juice.

But is it true that they can't do anything about the decay??? It's only tiny so I'm sure no anesthetic would be needed. Do I need to find a different dentist or go private? Don't want the decay to get worse obviously!

Thanks in advance.

Eh? Decay will arrest or reduce if the cause is taken away? Well, it MIGHT not get worse, fine, but the sugars in normal foods in our diet could well make the decay worse. Surely the dentist could have been polite and said ' try and cut down on juice, we'll see how it goes, it might not need treatment'. Instead, the dentist chose you use phraseology that made the mum feel like shit.

How lovely, fulltothebrim. You don't buy my "excuse" that my daughter will dehydrate herself to the point of constipation. Nice.
She doesn't refuse water, just won't drink very much of it.
I won't go into her full medical history here.

Can I just stress once and for all that (i) I didn't need to be told juice is not the best drink, (ii) I don't need advice on how to manage my daughter's juice intake (dilution, straws, just give water, whatever), and (iii) some people on here are incredibly rude and aggressive and seem hellbent on defending my daughter's dentist just because they're fellow dentists even though she was more than a bit crappy at handling today's appointment.

Thanks to everyone who gave constructive input.

I'm out.

Space I was talking to you not the op. You were the dental nurse.
The op said the decay is in the anterior teeth and her dd is dairy/soya allergic so my guess would be the decay was related to what she was drinking not what she eating it sounds like feeding bottle caries to me.

sleep your DD refuses to drink much water because she knows something better is on offer. You think the juice is the solution- it's actaully part of the problem.
Communities that only have fresh drinking water on offer are not full of kids with chronic constipation.

according to the dentists it's us stupid lay people who are 'incredibly rude'. Hope you find a more pleasant dentist Sleep. They are out there.

My daughter never had a bottle in her life btw.

She has coeliac's and related (past) malabsorption issues that have now hopefully been resolved.

She doesn't sip juice continually, it's always given with a straw (also often to administer various medications).

I do try to stick to good dental hygiene. I noticed the decay on Sunday, made an appointment on Monday, saw dentist on Tuesday.

OK, I really have to stop now!

I know you were talking to me Milly, I can read. So regardless of the cause, you reckon that a patch of established caries is definitely going to arrest if she gives up juice?

My child was a water refuser (and milk after 11 months!) and I had to choose between dehydration and tooth decay. She was hospitalised twice as a result of dehydration and we were then posted to a v hot country where her fluid intake had to double. The second time she was hospitalised (in Cyprus) I was roundly set upon by the doctor who gave me absolute hell for being a "stupid English" [sic] not understanding that dehydration could kill.

I chose tooth decay.

She didn't drink plain water until she was 6 years old. Last year at 9 years old she had three back teeth removed under GA (and one normal wobbly tooth taken at the same time). As horrible as it was that DD had to have a GA I am still quite content in my choice for her, and she bears me no ill will.

The first dentist that she saw last year was a complete and utter wanker to DD and to me. He scared her, was rough with her, told me off in front of her, told DD off for eating "too many sweets" (she doesn't) and despite my explanations decided that I was lying, deluded and an inadequate parent. He made DD cry and I very nearly punched him. Thankfully the very decent and sensible dental nurse that was with him calmed the situation, hustled us out of the room and referred us to someone who wasnt a complete wanker.

The dental surgeon was fabulous, listened to my explanations, talked to DD, kindly, about what was happening and why and never once gave her (or I) any grief.

The rest of DDs teeth are fine, very strong and very clean. She hasn't had any problems since and at her last dental check up (6 months after surgery), she was commended on her dental hygiene and lovely smile.

Some dentists get it wrong. Some parents make bad choices for good reasons. Some dentists shouldn't even be vets. Some are ace.

Maybe speak to another dentist OP, just to get a second opinion. I'm not saying the first dentist was wrong, but a second view can't hurt.

The last day of CPD I did on minimally invasive dentistry showed lots of high quality evidence that removing the carbohydrate would cause varies to arrest. Adding fluoride to the mix would make this faster and more reliable.

Your research may show different space but as ever, we practise evidence based dentistry so...

Here here ex

My child refused water too.
That is why I posted .
It's difficult.
I managed to gradually avoid problems to teeth and dehydration by stealth .
My post was not intended to be unhelpful and most threads involve people talking around issues with the op rather than responding strictly to the exact content of the op solely.

But I shall fuck off now.

Yup Space, published evidence, if it's kept clean, there is a change in diet and fluoride applied it will arrest.

Sleep, I'm not having a go. The "feeding bottle" is an appearance of a type of decay that's usually seen from drinking as it affects the upper front teeth.

By all means go and seek a second opinion from another dentist, ask for fluoride application especially if you don't think you will easily reduce the juice.

Waaaah. Must. Stop. Reading. Thread.

I don't dispute that juice is bad for teeth.

I don't disagree with the dentist's advice to limit/stop juice in general. I also listen to my child's paediatric specialist though who agrees that SOME children will not drink enough water. He's obviously deluded, must drop him a note about that.

My daughter's (now pretty much resolved) constipation was caused by gluten and dairy in her diet, but much exacerbated by insufficient hydration.

I don't expect dentists to work the impossible or only say things their patients want to hear. I do expect them to not be patronising biatches who cut you off mid-sentence and hussle you out the door wagging their finger about the evil joooooooce.

Is all caries (and constipation, if one previous poster is to be believed) caused by juice then?

Sleep. I'm sorry you feel this way. You sound like a great mother who is trying to do her best for her dd.
It may be worth finding a new dentist who you can develop a better relationship with.
Your dd will need regular monitoring.

Juice and fruit are the worst. I ate fruit and 4-5 times a week for breakfast and at lunch along with juice. Thought i was being healthy!
It's ruined the enamel on my teeth and i'v ended up with two fillings and i need to have more
Bloody fruit!!!!

Ooh, while there are dentists around on the thread and ignoring the disagreements -

At what point would you remove a two year old's teeth if, like a pp mentioned, the enamel had never formed properly? My DS's four top front teeth started flaking at nine months old. He was treated regularly with painted on fluoride but it has had zero effect. He's now just over two and he has four yellow stumps. He's already had two caries in one of the teeth and had to have an emergency root filling when we were overseas recently.

He regularly complains that his teeth are sore and his sleep is horrendous. I want him to be referred to a specialist paediatric dentist for possible extraction, but my dentist is very reluctant to do this.

I understand that it's better to preserve the teeth if possible to avoid later orthodontics, and I understand that General anaesthetics are risky but really - when should we call a day on these teeth?! If he'd already developed two caries before the age of two (never had a bottle, juice only once a week), then surely his teeth have zero chance of making it through to seven years old - right?!

My DC is already developing a phobia of dentists, and brushing :(

Paleo,
Do you think he doesn't want to brush because they hurt?
If they are just stumps they won't be doing much space maintenance to avoid orthodontics.
Are they trying to get your son to an age where he would be cooperative for treatment when awake or is it because he hasn't been seen in pain yet?

They've said that he's not in pain because he's eating normally. However, he wakes multiple times a night and is often up for more than an hour and I believe this is related to discomfort. When he needed emergency treatment while we were abroad, his only obvious symptom was deteriorating sleep (and then a swelling mouth when it got bad). Unfortunately that was in a country where they don't anaesthetise - they just do it :(.

They said they want to preserve the teeth as long as possible as the four teeth are place markers for the adult teeth. They just aren't going to last though - the deterioration has been so quick already and he's still a baby. Plus I'm worried about infection spreading into the jaw (?). I don't think he shows pain as much as others might.

Do you have a dental teaching hospital near you?

everything mrsmorton said.
those whose kids won't drink water. can you explain more ?
You honestly have found / believe that with drinking water available AND NO ALTERNATIVE TASTIER FLAVOURED STUFF as an alternative they would refuse water until they died ?

pal the infection does not spread into the jaw

My child does not REFUSE water. She only drinks very little. So, no, she would not actually kill herself but she is capable of - unintentionally - harming her already fragile intestinal health.

Bloody hell!

She's 4. She knows water is the better option. Lots of adults don't do what's best for their health despite kniwing better. Again, she's 4. And, incidentally, I'm not all convinced it's all down to juice consumption.

Until about 20 months, she only had water and breastmilk yet was already getting constipated. Funny that.