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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed by dentist's response?

114 replies

SleepRefugee · 21/04/2015 11:29

Reposted from children's health for traffic!

Hello everyone. Took my daughter (4) to the dentist today as we've noticed some erosion/decay (tiny gap between front teeth) but she took one look, said there's nothing they can do and proceeded to tell me off for allowing her juice . I know juice isn't great, my daughter will dehydrate herself to the point of constipation though. Anyway, we are working on cutting down on juice.

But is it true that they can't do anything about the decay??? It's only tiny so I'm sure no anesthetic would be needed. Do I need to find a different dentist or go private? Don't want the decay to get worse obviously!

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Original poster
SleepRefugee · 21/04/2015 14:26

Thanks, lertgush.

LL12, she doesn't eat masses of fruit, no.

Clearly some sugar needs to be cut from her diet, and juice is an obvious one.

I think I'm fairly clued up on nutrition, especially considering her food allergies and associated fussiness.

Though I'm not sure many parents wouldn't give juice (with a straw!) to their coeliac child who is also allergic to dairy and soya (limited treats there!), especially if they'vebeen advised to do so by a paediatric gastroenterologist. Just by way of explanation.

The juice is going.

BUT I was hoping for some sort of (non-invasive) treatment to minimise further damage to her tooth! That's all!

OP posts:
UncleT · 21/04/2015 14:44

What exactly are you complaining about?? Dentist has done exactly as expected and as appropriate.

Mrsmorton · 21/04/2015 14:50

You can't just stick stuff to teeth, if there's is decay then it needs to be removed, if there's erosion then the tooth may need to be prepared as eroded enamel isn't great for bonding. The filling must be shaped so as not to become a plaque retentive factor, resin filling must be placed in a totally dry environment otherwise they will probably fail. It's not just like putting a piece of putty in a hole.
It will almost certainly be invasive and anaesthetic at the front is the most painful sort.

TSSDNCOP · 21/04/2015 14:59

OP MrsM is a reg and gives good advice in her posts. Having had a dentist go on my front tooth has a child, I can tell you don't do it. I'm a mess at the dentist as a result of childhood dentistry.

Original poster
SleepRefugee · 21/04/2015 15:15

Thanks for the info, MrsM.

Maybe if the dentist had explained a bit more than just "nothing we can do, it's your own fault", I wouldn't have felt the need to come on here. She did have loads of time to tell me off about giving juice at all, and how juice isn't healthy (didn't say it was) and how children will not dehydrate themselves if given water (umm, yes, mine has done.).

OP posts:
Aberchips · 21/04/2015 15:17

I'm with mrsmorton (who as the previous poster said is a regular on these matters & speaks sense and good advice) & all the other posters who have said that they think the dentist has done the right thing. I was subjected to lots of painful fillings etc at a young age & it put me right off all things to do with dentists! I don't think the dentist was really aiming a personal criticism at you OP re the juice - just more some advice. As others have said, many parents think they are doing their kids a favour by offering juice/ fruit/ raisins instead of fizzy drinks/ sweets, but don't realise that these things also contain a lot of sugar & are better off eaten as part of a meal instead of snacking.

My OH works in the dentistry field & it seems like people are very quick to decide that they don't like the advice they're being given if it doesn't fit with what they think "ought" to be done sometimes - we are all often guilty of expecting everything to be "fixed" these days, when sometimes it can't or shouldn't be.

Original poster
SleepRefugee · 21/04/2015 15:33

OK, I've been convinced that a filling would not make sense.

Would it help to have a fluoride coating or similar put on?

OP posts:
Mrsmorton · 21/04/2015 15:38

Yes, six monthly fluoride varnish can reduce risk of decay by up to 50%.

Original poster
SleepRefugee · 21/04/2015 15:57

So there WAS something they could have done then! Why didn't the dentist offer this, I ask myself.

OP posts:
DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 21/04/2015 16:18

My ds had the fluoride thing but only for his second teeth.

lertgush · 21/04/2015 16:31

My kids have fluoride varnish every 6 months as do I...

Mrsmorton · 21/04/2015 17:06

Yes OP but there's also something you could have done... It's not fair to just expect the dentist to pull out all the stops when DD spends most of her time not at the dentist's...

Psipsina · 21/04/2015 17:14

Hijacking here but I remember something about 'fissure coating' when I was little - my friend had it done - can you still have that now? And does it work?

Original poster
SleepRefugee · 21/04/2015 17:14

Well, no, I'm not blaming her for the decay.

I am blaming her for saying there is NOTHING she can do and not mentioning a fluoride varnish despite me asking for options!

Thanks for all your professional input though.

OP posts:
MinniesMate · 21/04/2015 17:38

Fissure coating is only suitable for molar teeth and is more usually placed in the first permanent molars as they erupt at around age six.

Psipsina · 21/04/2015 19:35

Oh thanks - that sounds good. I might ask our dentist about it.

Pagwatch · 21/04/2015 19:44

My child is also allergic to dairy, soya, gluten, nuts and egg white.
It can be trying. But nevertheless it is important to cut down on juices.
I did it slowly by incrementally reducing the amount of juice and increasing the amount of water until it was incredibly weak.
Of course dehydration must be avoided but a fruit juice habit is incredibly difficult to break. The main thing for me was deciding it was going to happen and be incredibly precise about it.

Over the years I have found it important not to view my child's diet as one of deprivation or I find myself giving in to silly alternatives out of sympathy - and I think on some level a wholly illogical guilt.

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 21/04/2015 19:45

I responded on your other post , op, but I was responding to a particularly rude reply- even ruder than Mrs Morton's!, so I won't repost it here as it won't make much sense. Grin

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 21/04/2015 19:59

Gah! Ignore me OP, I'm getting my dental threads mixed up. I did respond on your other thread tho

Mrsmorton · 21/04/2015 20:48

Quite ironic your comments about rudeness there space In your post there you have demonstrated your total lack of dental knowledge in a fairly offensive way.
Should the dentist just crack on, instilling a potentially life long phobia in a child as well as doing potentially clinically unnecessary treatment AND not addressing the cause of the problem? Hmm that would be really shit wouldn't it...

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 21/04/2015 21:09

Whatever Mrs Morton, you're the expert. If doing a small simple filling causes a lifelong phobia then I think your technique might need a brush up.

ToddleWaddle · 21/04/2015 21:18

As a fellow dentist I agreee 100% with MrsMorton. With careful diet and oral hygiene the tooth should last nicely until it falls out.
You are being incredibly rude InSpace. Do you have a debtal qualification?

InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 21/04/2015 21:25

Haha- another expert! I never said I had a dental qualification. I was a dental nurse for years if you're interested. But not all the dentists I've known have been great. Some are great, some are not great, some are very arrogant. Sorry if that's 'incredibly rude'. The mum just needs nice friendly advice for her kid. Not a shrug and 'nothing we can do- your fault for giving her juice'

fulltothebrim · 21/04/2015 21:39

But giving kids juice is a bad idea.
It is uneccessary- and I don't buy the excuse that " will dehydrate herself to the point of constipation".

Refusing water is something a parent has brought about. A child is simply holding out for something she knows she can be offered if she digs her heels in.

I think we have a duty as parents to cultivate a love of fresh drinking water, not just for a child's teeth but as they grow and become adults oral health is important too.

MillyMollyMardy · 21/04/2015 21:39

Space, she was given advice and it was appropriate. The cause was established, advice given to reduce it. That's not nothing. If the cause is taken away the decay/erosion will arrest or reduce.
Would you rather a dentist didn't give preventative advice? Just in case they upset someone. Remember dental disease is mainly preventable.

I always advise parents to avoid giving squash and juice to their children at home always as it's so difficult to wean them off. If they're never offered it at home it's not expected.