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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to shop another parent to the LEA for Primary School Admission Fraud

252 replies

eminthebigsmoke · 20/04/2015 12:15

A lady I know in passing has scammed her way to a place at the best local primary by renting next to the school for 6 months. Two days after offer day she is back at her original address near us. AIBU to think that she has cheated someone else's child out of a place and shouldn't be allowed to get away with it?

Has no bearing on what will happen to my DC as we're 20 odd places down the wait list for that school.

OP posts:
Livjames1 · 25/04/2015 18:36

But have you ever thought that some of these parents may finish work at say 2 ish so it's just not worth them going home and then coming back out again to do the school run.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 25/04/2015 18:40

Yes Liv, that was exactly what was given a few posts down as a good reason, and what I was specifically responding to with another good reason. Hmm

DeeWe · 25/04/2015 20:19

I am a sahm and occasionally I go and sit down at the school for 3/4 hour in a good spot. I have several reasons for this:

  1. We live 45-50 minutes walk from the school. Whereas I prefer in theory to walk, in reality if I'm out it really doesn't make sense for me to drive home then walk down if I'm coming back at that time.
  2. I have 2 dc at school, if one is doing an afterschool club and the other isn't, it means I have 2 pick ups an hour apart. I can't walk back and come out again. There isn't really anywhere which is a good wait around (with various bags) for an hour with a tired and hungry child. So if I'm near the entrance, which I won't be if I come down later, I can get home about 15 minutes, which mean I can either walk down for the second pick up or I have 30-35 minutes at home which means I can do something useful (dd1 is at home so she can look after younger ones so they don't have to come again)
  3. Occasionally I or the dc have a doctors appointment or something else which needs a quick escape from school, as I said, a chosen parking space can save me 15 minutes because I'll choose one where I can get away quickly and don't have to fight through the other vehicles. And if I'm down later then I can easily be 10 minute walk away.
  4. If I've had a busy day doing things and still have a lot to do, then having 45 minutes where I can sit and read without feeling that I ought to be doing things. If I tried it at home, I'd end up just continuing what I was doing.
  5. If I have some hand sewing or letters to write, that sort of thing, I can do it much better when I'm away from distractions of the dishwasher finishing/phone going and things like that.
  6. Dd2 does have some medical issues at presetnt and sometimes even the 10 minute extra walk can just be enough to be the last straw if she's feeling bad.

And my other thing is dd1 arrives home from secondary at about junior school finish time. I have a choice of homw I deal with that. I can wait and see her in, which is lovely. But then I have to park a good distance away from school (talking 10 minute walk, which I don't mind) and I'll not be back until quite a bit later, and she likes to have a chat when she gets in, so it tends to be then a quick "hello, going to fetch the others" and by the time I'm back things are getting rushed for evening activities.
Or I walk down, but then we have similar, but I don't see her come in (nor can I get back easily if there's an issue like she's forgotten her key-she'd be waiting nearly an hour for me to get back).
Or I can leave early, and be back within 15 minutes of her getting home, which does have the advantages of being less rushed and able to chat to them all.

My choice would be every time to walk pretty much, and I did until dd1 went to secondary except in very particular circumstances. But the reality is that life is very busy and an hour and a half to meet them is sometimes not possible.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 25/04/2015 20:29

Wow DeeWee. Parking must be particularly shit by your school. Sad I was trying hard to make it clear I was commenting on mine. Arriving just before finish means parking less than 100m further away (just, shock horror, around a corner so you can't sit in your car for ks2 kids to come out to you ). That is why I find ours so incomprehensible unless it is actively helpful- like a toddler napping or whatever.

vitamink · 25/04/2015 20:30

Pico2, on Mumsnet;

Primary School Admission Fraud = most likely middle class, therefore rich, therefore bad.

Benefit Fraud = most likely working class, therefore poor, therefore good.

ItsAllKickingOffPru · 25/04/2015 20:33

Grin vitamink

IonaNE · 25/04/2015 21:24

I would not report the mother in the original post.

The parents who send their children to faith schools are also taxpayers. If you withdraw state funding from these schools, you must pay these parents back the proportion of their taxes that is spent on state education - since they are not benefiting from it. Also, as another poster has said, in many cases the churches own the building/facilities - if state funding were withdrawn, they could turn round and close the schools and then where would the state find the money to build new schools for thousands of children who would suddenly be out of a school place? I would much rather see faith schools only educating children who are genuinely members of that faith community and make the criteria such that they can not be fulfilled by going to church for just a while (until the school place is allocated).

Everyone going to their local school is not a viable solution, at least not at secondary level. Even if all schools were outstanding, they would be different: one would have an award winning classical choir; the other a champion rugby team. No school could be cutting edge in everything and so even from the same family DCs might benefit from going to different schools.

keepitsimple0 · 25/04/2015 21:55

If you withdraw state funding from these schools, you must pay these parents back the proportion of their taxes that is spent on state education - since they are not benefiting from it.

sure they are. they will still send their children to schools. why should I pay for someone else's child to be educated in some special way when I don't get that privilege?

they could turn round and close the schools and then where would the state find the money to build new schools for thousands of children who would suddenly be out of a school place?

with the C of E, I am ready to call their bluff.

I would much rather see faith schools only educating children who are genuinely members of that faith community and make the criteria such that they can not be fulfilled by going to church for just a while (until the school place is allocated).

so, are you also in favour of religious discrimination for employment purposes?

And I may get shot down for saying this but too many parents just don't care enough about which school their children go to, and as long as it's the local most convienient school for THEM and not neccesarily the best for their child, then they're happy.

the difference is that some people have morals that stop them from doing bad things.

Both DP and I have a long history of plenty of education in both families, and it is very important to both of us. We don't cheat other parents and their children not because we don't care enough about our own children's education, but because it's wrong to cheat other people! Why is this such an alien concept? Should I start shoplifting too?

keepitsimple0 · 25/04/2015 22:01

this thread, however, is a major eye opener. I am shocked actually.

ShadowStone · 25/04/2015 23:54

If you withdraw state funding from these schools, you must pay these parents back the proportion of their taxes that is spent on state education - since they are not benefiting from it.

Well, as far as I know, parents who home-school don't get a tax rebate on the grounds that they're not benefiting from state education. Neither do parents who send their children to private schools. And childless taxpayers don't get repaid this proportion of their taxes either, despite it being impossible for them to benefit from state education in this way.

So it's utterly ridiculous to suggest that parents with children in state religious schools must be repaid a proportion of their taxes if state funding was withdrawn from religious schools. It just wouldn't happen.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 26/04/2015 07:27

What ShadowStone said.

Original poster
eminthebigsmoke · 28/04/2015 19:48

Just a wee update for anyone still with us, I drafted a statement and sent it to a friend for a sanity check and advice. Without even coming back to me, they forwarded on to the LEA. Guess they knew I might chicken out! Friend received response from the team saying that they are on the ball regarding that school but were still grateful to have the info. So that's that.

OP posts:
Mopmay · 28/04/2015 20:03

Well done and your friend in a way helped you out !

Original poster
eminthebigsmoke · 28/04/2015 20:05

Are you her? Grin

OP posts:
IceBeing · 28/04/2015 21:11

Nice one.

Did you see the webchat today?

CrapBag · 28/04/2015 21:15

Good.

If no one ever reports these things then more and more people would do it.

LeahLeah · 28/04/2015 21:24

i think its none of your business, and kudos to the mama that went out of her way to get her child into a decent school. if more parents took such an interest in their childs education then we would live in a much better world x

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 28/04/2015 21:27

Utter nonsense, LeahLeah.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 28/04/2015 23:05

Well done for sending it (don't listen to LeahLeah)

Honestly can you imagine a world where every parent rented a flat to secure the best school. Madness

IceBeing · 28/04/2015 23:10

gosh leah do you actually believe that any act is morally justifiable as long as it's for the kids?

Stealing, murder, fraud...all fine as long as you do it for your children...or can convince yourself you did.

keepitsimple0 · 28/04/2015 23:12

as I said earlier, they should just do away with the hassle of making parents rent and just auction off school places to the highest bidder.

keepitsimple0 · 28/04/2015 23:14

I think i am going to go steal a really nice bike for my DD tomorrow. After all, I really do love her and think she deserves the best bike. I'm a great parent for taking an interest in her biking.

Mopmay · 28/04/2015 23:29

I bet Leah also parks on double yellow lines outside her school so her DC don't get wet. In her huge 4by4 as she lives miles away from her school as she cheated to get in ?

ShadowSteam · 28/04/2015 23:40

Good to hear this has been reported, OP.

prh47bridge · 29/04/2015 00:14

with the C of E, I am ready to call their bluff

The CofE isn't the problem. They have not said they would close schools if they lost the right to select on faith criteria. The RC church, on the other hand, has said that. If you call their bluff I am certain you will lose. They definitely would close any schools they cannot fund themselves in preference to losing the right to select on faith grounds.

kudos to the mama that went out of her way to get her child into a decent school

I will never give kudos to any parent that cheats a child out of a school place that is rightfully theirs, which is what has happened here. Whatever you may think this is not a victimless crime. I am glad this parent has been reported.