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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend got food poisoning from this dinner party and we need to tell the hostess?!

119 replies

DustOfALongSleeplessNight · 20/04/2015 11:03

NC for this so i don't out myself.

Went to dinner party with friend on Sat night, didn't know hosts, they only invited me as I'm visiting friend for week. Lovely house in country, seemed clean and everyone was friendly.
Im pregnant so couldn't eat starter (smoked salmon) and for main I just had potatoes and veg as I didn't fancy the chicken dish. I usually eat chicken but it was in rich sauce (chicken cacciatore) and Im averse to strong flavours when pregnant. It didn't look or smell bad or anything. We ate at 8pm and left at 11pm, my friend was fine when we left. In car on way back she complained she felt bloated and said her stomach felt a bit 'funny', I teased her that she must have overindulged. When we got to her place I made her peppermint tea and she took some Rennies, she didn't feel ill at that point but her stomach was really swollen so she started wondering if she had an allergy/intolerance to something. At 1am she woke up feeling sick then started vomiting (violently) and developed diarrhoea, she spent whole night on loo being sick in a bucket and was ill most of Sunday. Today she's feeling a bit better but she still has bad stomach pain and diarrhoea and is in bed.
I am furious with the hosts! It's obvious to me this is severe food-poisoning and she must have caught it from the chicken dish... or AIBU and jumping to conclusions? Friend ate same as me all week, we cooked together, so can't have caught it elsewhere.
I think we need to phone hostess and tell her, I also want to know if anyone else got ill though friend doesn't have contact details for the other people. I keep thinking it was so lucky i didn't eat it too, as could have put baby at risk, and I'm so angry a host would serve up something unsafe!! What would you do?

OP posts:
legolegolego · 20/04/2015 14:12

I would probably get your friend to contact guests and say 'I'm really sorry but I seem to have come down with a bug after leaving, just wanted to let you know incase you caught it' - this will give them an opening to say 'oh actually we were all sick' which will tell you it was likely food poisoning. But even then, it's just an unfortunate situation, nothing you can get annoyed about.

SistersofPercy · 20/04/2015 14:15

Shit happens. Grin

Made me smile. Sorry.

Original poster
DustOfALongSleeplessNight · 20/04/2015 20:52

Called out of hours GP who said to go to A+E as she's severely dehydrated and in a lot of pain. Doctor in A+E thinks its bacterial food poisoning but test results not back yet.
She's on IV fluids and painkillers now and is feeling better, but they're keeping her in overnight on assessment unit.
We still haven't called hosts.

OP posts:
FirstWeTakeManhattan · 20/04/2015 21:03

Your reaction to the whole thing is a bit drama, OP.

If she ate at 8.00 p.m. and started showing symptoms at 11.00 p.m. it sounds unlikely to be food poisoning.

It's not your place to say anything. If your friend chooses to at a later date, then that is for her, but your anger and fury about it all is a little misplaced.

I hope your friend recovers soon.

CaspianSea · 20/04/2015 21:13

Some types of food poisoning do have very early-onset symptoms, anything from 1 hour after eating. Can't remember which types but I think its when toxins are produced by the bacteria in food, so body reacts to toxins very quickly trying to expel them. On first day of our holiday in Turkey my DH vomited an hour after eating dodgy street-food (then spent 3 days in hotel with D&V Angry)!

OP hope your friend recovers soon. I don't think you're being overly dramatic, food poisoning can have very serious consequences.

KurriKurri · 20/04/2015 21:26

Actually, I think in cases of food poisoning that I would tell the host - not about whether it's embarrassing or awkward - they obviously didn't do it deliberately, - but others may have got it too, your friend is in hospital with suspected food poisoning, if i was one of the other guests at the party and was feeling ill I'd want all the info I could get to give to medics should I need help. And the best way to collate the info is for everyone to contact the host so he/she can give out info. It's not a question of blame - am sure the hosts will be upset but its obviously not malicious in any way - its a question of being helpful and informative.

And sometimes you can get food poisoning from food without it necessarily having been unsafely prepared, and you can get food poisoning (say from fish) where only one piece of fish is toxic (if the portions have come from different fish) so not necessary that everyone would get it anyway.

Food poisoning can be very nasty - the more info available to the sufferers and those treating them, the better.

KERALA1 · 20/04/2015 21:50

Dh I and a friend ate in a dodgy restaurant in London. Friend and I had veggie option dh had chicken. By the time we got home dh was feeling ill. He was so sick he ended up having a week off work. He was fit and healthy twenty something - dread to think how an older or frailer person would have coped. Place was shut down shortly afterwards.

gaslamp · 20/04/2015 22:02

I had food poisoning from chicken similar to your friend but was told it was campylobacter (if in hospital as you say, they will test). However incubation period is 2-5 days - but up to a week (not three hours). If it was food poisoning from the meal, do the other guests / hosts also have it? Food poisoning is a notifiable illness so the FSA will ask qus if that is what the hospital find in tests

gaslamp · 20/04/2015 22:04

The fast onset food poisoning is not gen from chicken DH is saying (doctor) - more commonly seafood or rice

MajesticWhine · 20/04/2015 22:05

Yes, I got it from scampi once, before I'd even left the restaurant.

VelvetRose · 20/04/2015 22:47

Likewise Majestic, I've had it similarly swiftly from scampi and a few years later a bad mussel....so vile!!!

AliceLidl · 20/04/2015 22:54

When I had food poisoning it was from prawns, and took two or three hours from eating them to feeling I was dying.

QTPie · 20/04/2015 22:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

lithewire · 20/04/2015 22:58

Have her send a stool sample to the GP if you're really bent on proving it was food poisoning.

lertgush · 20/04/2015 23:00

I hope your friend is OK. Poor thing.

lertgush · 20/04/2015 23:01

lithewire her friend is in A&E.

MildredDreadful · 20/04/2015 23:06

I had campylobacter when I was pregnant. From rice served at a restaurant...it came on within about 4 hours. All of us who'd eaten it were ill and it had to be reported. As I was working in a nursery at the time, I couldn't go back to work until I was certified free of it!

I felt jolly ill but had no particular treatment apart from lots of fluid. There were no after effects for me or the baby (now aged 14).

Variousrandomthings · 20/04/2015 23:12

Don't call the hosts unless it's confirmed. You'll look like a right baboon if it's just a virus (which it could be?)

OverAndAbove · 20/04/2015 23:16

If it's a virus then your friend might have spread it to all the other guests. I hope they're not raging about it! Hope she feels better soon anyway

expatinscotland · 20/04/2015 23:27

I'd just leave it for now.

WilburIsSomePig · 20/04/2015 23:37

Why would you even consider calling your hosts until you have something confirmed? Why are you so angry with them, they obviously had no idea at all when they served food which may, or may not have resulted in your friends illness.

arethereanyleftatall · 20/04/2015 23:42

I hope your friend gets better soon and I'm glad she's in the right place now.

That aside, this jumped out at me from your op 'we've eaten exactly the same all week apart from this'. Really?

kali110 · 21/04/2015 00:02

Hope your friend is ok!
I doubt it was the chicken though, If your friend was having symptoms only 3 hours later its highly unlikely to be that.i have unfortunately been ill from chicken twice Angry
Both came on near enough 24 hours later. I was throwing up for days. There was nothing to throw up.Belly felt like it was burning. I ended up on medication to stop the sickness as even water wouldnt stay down.
It was over a week before i felt like myself again!

Variousrandomthings · 21/04/2015 00:13

Its possible your friend has infected her friends

SmillasSenseOfSnow · 21/04/2015 01:11

To everyone saying 'it could be a virus' - you do know that if you catch a virus from contaminated food then that is still food poisoning, yes? But I understand that generally the point being made is that she could have caught something beforehand and had it slowly brewing in her stomach prior to the food.