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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend got food poisoning from this dinner party and we need to tell the hostess?!

119 replies

DustOfALongSleeplessNight · 20/04/2015 11:03

NC for this so i don't out myself.

Went to dinner party with friend on Sat night, didn't know hosts, they only invited me as I'm visiting friend for week. Lovely house in country, seemed clean and everyone was friendly.
Im pregnant so couldn't eat starter (smoked salmon) and for main I just had potatoes and veg as I didn't fancy the chicken dish. I usually eat chicken but it was in rich sauce (chicken cacciatore) and Im averse to strong flavours when pregnant. It didn't look or smell bad or anything. We ate at 8pm and left at 11pm, my friend was fine when we left. In car on way back she complained she felt bloated and said her stomach felt a bit 'funny', I teased her that she must have overindulged. When we got to her place I made her peppermint tea and she took some Rennies, she didn't feel ill at that point but her stomach was really swollen so she started wondering if she had an allergy/intolerance to something. At 1am she woke up feeling sick then started vomiting (violently) and developed diarrhoea, she spent whole night on loo being sick in a bucket and was ill most of Sunday. Today she's feeling a bit better but she still has bad stomach pain and diarrhoea and is in bed.
I am furious with the hosts! It's obvious to me this is severe food-poisoning and she must have caught it from the chicken dish... or AIBU and jumping to conclusions? Friend ate same as me all week, we cooked together, so can't have caught it elsewhere.
I think we need to phone hostess and tell her, I also want to know if anyone else got ill though friend doesn't have contact details for the other people. I keep thinking it was so lucky i didn't eat it too, as could have put baby at risk, and I'm so angry a host would serve up something unsafe!! What would you do?

OP posts:
InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream · 20/04/2015 11:56

You wouldn't necessarily have 'caught it by now'. It's not even 48 hours since she came down with it. So you still think you're being reasonable, and we're all wrong? Hmm

SteveBrucesNose · 20/04/2015 12:00

The only reason Id ring the hostess was if the Dr said it was a notifiable food poisoning and the hostess therefore had to speak to the other guests (been there, done that with my best friends wedding and DH with a notifiable bug - that was a horrid call!)

For something to come on that quickly and that violently, your friend needs checking out so they can test for particular nasties.

mickeyfartpants · 20/04/2015 12:02

By now though, if it were food poisoning, wouldn't the hosts have also been feeling rough and have called their guests to check?

CiderwithBuda · 20/04/2015 12:03

Food poisoning can be different with different people even with the same bacteria.

We went to a ball once where 300 of the 450 people there got campylobacter from the seafood starter. We all started at different times. A few people started late that night, I started in the early morning but DH didnt start till about 6pm the day after. I was still ill three days later.

AuntyMag10 · 20/04/2015 12:03

You need to get over yourself. You were kindly invited along so you should not say anything.

Fleecyleesy · 20/04/2015 12:04

Get tests done at docs and go from there. If it was the dinner, the hosts will already be ill so I can't see what good it will do to contact them about it.

OnlyLovers · 20/04/2015 12:05

Gobbolino, IME food poisoning starts a few hours after eating; so the timing here is right.

Seeline · 20/04/2015 12:07

My DS had a vomiting bug over the holidays. Definitely not food poisoning. None of the rest of the family caught it, so even if it is a bug, you may not catch it.

CaspianSea · 20/04/2015 12:14

It sounds like food poisoning rather than a virus, though gastroenteritis viruses can be foodbourne too. Certain types of food poisoning can cause symptoms a couple of hours after eating and quickly progress to severe V&D in the way you described. Only way to find out for sure is blood/stool tests.

I do think it's likely your friend caught something from the party but I don't think you should be the one to call the hosts. Let your friend ring them when she feels better.

In meantime keep washing your hands, disinfect toilet etc as bugs like salmonella can spread through contact with body fluids. It's kind of you to look after her but try to avoid contact with vomit and take her to A&E if she shows signs of dehydration or pain gets severe.

Food poisoning can be very serious so you're right to be worried, but don't blame the hosts until you know the source. It's possible they didn't cook the chicken properly or it had gone off, but either way they probably had no idea and are now suffering just as much as your friend!

Lavenderice · 20/04/2015 12:15

So they were kind enough to invite you alon as a favour, you were picky about the food you were given and now you want to ring them and give them a piece of your mind. You are unbelievable rude.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/04/2015 12:17

DS2 had Norovirus back in November. I was cleaning up vomit for days, cleaning the toilet and changing the sheets etc but didn't catch it, so it still could be a virus.

KoalaDownUnder · 20/04/2015 12:20

People on MN seem to always be 'raging' and 'fuming' about the weirdest things Confused.

If I thought of caught food poisoning at a friend's dinner party, I might be a bit pissed off at the situation (not at the friend), and think ugh, hope nobody else got sick. I wouldn't be angry at anybody

Hippymama1 · 20/04/2015 12:20

YABU - the most likely food poisoning she would have contracted from eating uncooked or undercooked chicken is Campylobacter and the incubation period for that is usually between 2 - 5 days.

In fact, most food poisoning has an incubation period of at least 12 hours so it is unlikely that it was the food she ate at the party that made her ill. TBH, it is more likely that she has picked up a virus like Norovirus or Gastro.

You are being a very good friend to her looking after her when she is so poorly but if she is still not keeping anything down and is wobbly on her feet, you are better off calling her doctor or NHS direct to see whether she needs to go to A&E and have a drip rather than calling the hosts of the dinner party...

Bowlersarm · 20/04/2015 12:25

Yabu. What exactly do you hope to achieve by ringing these lovely people who extended their hospitality to you?

You are being a good friend looking after her, but leave it at that.

MissDuke · 20/04/2015 12:25

Your poor friend! Is she able to keep any fluids down do you think? I would be ringing her GP for advice if you want to help, not the hostess. I would also be getting yourself aprons/gloves as I don't think this level of contact with someone elses vomit is a great idea!

MajesticWhine · 20/04/2015 12:30

LOL at holding sick buckets and having vomit all over you whilst not eating smoked salmon.

Jackiebrambles · 20/04/2015 12:30

If these hosts are Ill too then they will know it's the food and will be horrified. If they are not Ill then she's just got a nasty bug and they will think you unhinged for calling to blame them!

Leave it and go out to buy her some diaroltye (sp!) sachets.

JumpRope · 20/04/2015 12:31

The timing sounds a bit off.

We once had some new friends to dinner, and a few hours after they left, I began vomming, as did dcs. A day or two later, they got it too and the woman was pregnant. Totally embarrassing, it was a vomiting bug, I was obviously highly infectious and did t know it when I cooked the food (I did wash my hands etc of course).

I don't understand how you can know it's not eg norovirus, isn't that vomit the same as other vomit?

JumpRope · 20/04/2015 12:35

Perhaps your friend already had a virus, and SHE has potentially infected them, (and you)?

Anyway, I would not be angry about any of it, unless it was knowingly done by hosts or your friend, it's just life.

FlipperSkipper · 20/04/2015 12:36

A lot of common bacteria that cause food poisoning cause symptoms within 4-6 hours, so it could well be food poisoning. I wouldn't be raging about it though, I'm sure the hosts would be mortified if they knew!

JumpRope · 20/04/2015 12:37

Having said this, I would still call the hosts to thank them so much for the evening. And ask how they are?? ??

sparechange · 20/04/2015 12:46

YABU and irrational. Of course it isn't hard to correctly and safely cook food, which is why it is very unlikely to be the host's 'fault' that this happened, opposed to an honest mistake or something in one of the ingredients.

But I'm very Hmm that you are on your high horse about avoiding salmon and being thankful that you didn't eat anything in order to keep your baby safe, but are now holding her sick buckets. If it is something contagious like Campylobacter, you are putting yourself at much greater risk being around her than you were from eating a bit of salmon.

AnnPerkins · 20/04/2015 13:05

It could be a virus, DS and I had a nasty sick bug that DH didn't catch, despite being the lucky one who got to clear it up from all over the bathroom.

She could have caught it from one of the guests, you know the received wisdom about 7 types of wee in the peanuts...

Zampa · 20/04/2015 13:26

In 2011 30 people died in the USA after a listeria outbreak in cantaloupe melons!

AliceLidl · 20/04/2015 13:33

If your friend won't go to the doctor you need to get somebody to come to her if she's as bad as you say she is.

Ring 111 and ask for their advice.

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