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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If we had our time again

91 replies

Songlark · 19/04/2015 21:27

I wouldn't have let my best friend down when I met my DH. I devoted too much time to him and eventually my friend and I drifted apart. All my fault and I still feel guilt and regret. If I had my time again I wouldn't do that.
What would you all do different if you had your time again?

OP posts:

LooksLikeImStuckHere · 21/04/2015 09:05

greylady

I wish I'd stayed in touch with a friend when I was 17, who went on to commit suicide. I probably wouldn't have been able to stop her but at least she wouldn't have felt so lonely in the end.

I wish I had travelled more before having children.

I wouldn't have gone into teaching. I love the kids but as someone said up thread, it's a dead end, career wise.

I would have insisted on a C Section.

There are a few others that I wish hadn't happened or I could have done differently but doing so would mean that I wouldn't have met DH.

SpecificOcean · 21/04/2015 09:34

Wish I had been brave enough to go backpacking round the world earlier instead of sticking at a really shit job for a whole miserable year in my early twenties.
Eventually I had enough, jacked in the job and went travelling and had a brilliant time.

Timetoask · 21/04/2015 16:56

If I could turn the clock I wouldn't have had ds1 in the hospital I did. I entirely blame them for his special needs.
I travelled lots before having kids
Had an interesting career
Did all the right things
Woukd change all of that if my ds1 didn't have neurological problems.

EchoOfADistantTide · 21/04/2015 17:25

Not got married.

SandysMam · 21/04/2015 20:25

This is the most depressing thread I've ever encountered on MN. I wish I'd never read it...

Original poster

Songlark · 21/04/2015 22:41

Not depressing, I would have said more theraputic. I've read far far more depressing threads.

OP posts:

lia66 · 21/04/2015 22:56

I would have told someone about the abuse.

I would have gone to Philadelphia with the family I was nannying for, instead I left with the man I had just met. He gave me my wonderful 2 first children but if he dropped dead tomorrow, I would dance on his grave.

I would have gone for a drink with my friend from school when he asked me to, I never saw him again because he was killed in a motor bike accident. He was 19 :( I think about this particular regret quite alot actually. I'm 48 now.

I would have made more of an effort to see my dad even when his wife made it bloody difficult.

lastuseraccount123 · 21/04/2015 23:18

i wouldn't do anything differently. i'm really happy with my life now. i'm still not exactly where I want to be but i'm making progress and I'm taking any opportunity I can find.

FWIW I'm 43.

HopeClearwater · 21/04/2015 23:24

So much I could say.

Wish I hadn't gone into teaching!

Wish I'd done what I wanted to do and had never listened to others or tried to do things I thought that others said I should do...

Wish I had not married an alcoholic.

TedAndLola · 22/04/2015 00:43

I'm genuinely in tears after reading this thread, some of the regrets are incredibly sad. I think it's the not knowing what might have happened that makes it so hard

I would change a lot of things if I could but I think the defining moment of my life was going to the secondary school that I did. The bullying I encountered there changed me and my life, for the worse, forever. I would have applied to the place I eventually went to sixth form, and which helped me rebuild my confidence. I'm a very good place now but I could be in an even better place without those five awful years. I'm just thankful my suicide attempts weren't successful.

imalibra · 22/04/2015 03:02

Hi all, first post.
I'm a massive believer in not regretting things I have actually done. I once read the brain can better cope with those mistakes rather than the risks you never took. Just MHO though.

meandjulio · 22/04/2015 04:49

I don't regret much. I wish I hadn't hurt my first husband but sadly the pain of the divorce process probably helped me grow up - he was already grown up though.

I'm wishing at the moment that I'd never applied a year ago for the job I'm currently doing, I'm finding it very hard and I didn't really expect to get it. But I've enjoyed having the money so it's not all bad.

MsDragons · 22/04/2015 05:00

I can't think of anything I regret. All the things other people think I should regret are things I'm happy with now even if I wasn't at the time. I am really happy with my life as it is.

LikeABadSethRogenMovie · 22/04/2015 05:04

I don't regret much either. My main one would be I wish a young DH and I had realized how well we were doing as parents and had stood up for DC1 more, rather than worrying so much we were getting it wrong.

LikeABadSethRogenMovie · 22/04/2015 05:07

It took having more kids to gain the confidence to think, "Hang on a minute! These are all lovely kids! We must be doing something right!"

RavioliOnToast · 22/04/2015 09:27

I wish I had waited to get married, rather than jumping in, I love my dh so much, but I wish I'd taken longer to find myself and learn to be happy as just a person.

I wish I'd followed my heart from.school and gone into hairdressing.

If I could have delayed having DD2 and she would still be her then I would, we could afford childcare for one child not both.

I sound really selfish

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