To think 8 is too young to supporting sports' teams and that ex is being UR over this?

[thinkingmakesitso]

We separated a year ago and over the last 18 months or so ds1 has been getting more and more enthusiastic about 2 sports that ex also loves. As a result ex has been taking him to local matches quite a bit - they were at the cricket all day today and they have been to the football every few weeks. I am not thrilled for several reasons:

1. Ds gets very upset when things don't go well for the team - I have had to deal with tears several times over it, and I don't like the constant checking of the score. I think he's too young and it's bloody tedious. One day ex had told ds a match was on the radio one Saturday and we had to listen in - on my day with ds . Yes, I could have said no, but then I would have been the bad guy.

1. The bad language ds hears at the football (though, tbf, I have never been great at not swearing around the dc - not at them, around them) and the horrible attitudes/ tribalism it engenders. Ex is not like that but the attitude seems to be pervasive. For instance, we were out for the day at a neighbouring county and ds commented it would be full of 'X (local rivals) fans'. I really don't like this and hate all the talk of 'thrashing' people, people being 'rubbish' etc.

1. He does nothing comparable with ds2 (5) who is not at all sporty. I think, as time goes by the amount of money spent will be noticed and resented, and now the time is. Ds2 saw ex for 5 minutes today .

I think ex has just not realised that now we are split this is going to be hard to manage. His dad bought ds1 membership of the local cricket team for this b/d so I imagine they are going to go a lot - where will that leave ds2? If ex tries to see him at another time, it will eat into my time with the two of them, and if not, it's just not bloody fair. I don't think he will try to make it up, as seems to be returning to his hometown each Sat (seeing OW?) so there will be no time. In addition, I catch up with school work on a Sunday, so will not work for me having ds2 around.

I am getting more and more worked up as I type and know that if I raise it I will be cast as the UR one. To make it worse, he came in this morning expecting me to have prepared a packed lunch for ds, and when I hadn't he made one for himself as well .

WIBU to tell him he needs to cut back on it all a bit?

Supporting a team together is great for creating a bond - and not just for fathers. My son is nearly grown up but he still sits down to watch Soccer Saturday with me. It's lovely, precious time together that we wouldn't have otherwise.

I agree about your second child. And about expecting you to get their lunch!