Why are there so few posts on the feminism board? (Part 2)

[Jackieharris]

Since the last one filled up I though I'd start a new one as the conversation seemed to be mid flow.

The problem with that is that it doesn't change how I feel.

Had a look. Some interesting topics and the tone was fine, so far. It could be really vile at times a few years back when I used to lurk and did the odd post. Maybe it's cnaged, maybe some of the more aggressive posters have moved on.

Is Lenin still there, she seemed to be the voice of calm and reason on the board.

That last one was in answer to Jeane asking what was wrong with examples.

Well, I think only you can change how you feel, right?

It'd be spooky and odd if we could.

I feel people have tried to engage, by asking for example, can you link to a thread where you feel that happened because I haven't seen it. And most people went, well, no and how very dare you for asking! And one person posted an example which really didn't fit the description she'd offered of it.

It really feels like what people want FWR regulars to do is to apologise and agree with everything that is being said, in some really horrible terms, about them, their beliefs and their posting styles. Saying, 'really, is that what happened?' is read as not engaging, being too critical. Or not being able to take criticism, or as being as an example of exactly the horrifying behaviour that has apparently forced people to hide the whole section.

Seriously, what do you mean by engaging? Because I really feel that people have tried and that those attempts have not been met with any kind of respect.

I'm also not sure that FWR regulars have a distinct responsibility to attract posters by changing the board if the people who want to use it are happy with how it is. I mean, I'm not seeing any real reason other than the perception that we're all meanies and shouldn't be. But I am a fairly new poster and haven't found that. Mind you, I really hate discussion lady style where everyone's opinion - regardless of how asinine or poorly informed has to be allowed disrupt a conversation that matters to everyone else so that we can all feel good.

Which is exactly why I shall keep off! We are asked why we keep off, we give answers and we are told we must change.
I don't think any of the regulars have any interest in knowing the reasons- pointless if they then deny them all.

Fortunately, this board is big enough for everybody. I won't be popping onto FWR to ask "Why are there so few from FWR on AIBU?". Seems there' a readymade solution right there. No harm, no foul.

You're the one telling us to change. I just said we can't change you - you seem to expect we ought to.

Probably FWR regulars are a little too earnest - and come across as taking themselves too seriously. Needs more humour on there. That's my diagnosis of the problem.

Oh, well, I'm easily amused, inkanta, so FWR works for me. If your SOH takes a bit more time to get off the ground, maybe it's not so much fun.

And I hope the other way around too.

In case I haven't been clear enough, I'm not asking anyone to change. Post however you like wherever you like.

Buffy Okay

I like Caitlin Moran's style of getting her point across. Less earnest and more humour.

CM is funny in patches. Also, properly earnest and grim about abortion and violence, though.

OK, I have some feminist humor for you, thanks to the Onion.

Woman takes short break from being feminist

Man put in charge of feminism

And ever my personal favorite:

Choice

Those Onion links are great. Thanks.

If some feminists didn't want to post once upon a time, didn't want to post when it went quiet and the problem they complain about went away and still don't want to post, then what's the beef?

I don't think there's a fb group call out thing. Not like elsewhere on MN. I think there are people who used to post a lot who still read occasionally and are moved to post on certain threads, but are not part of the daily life of the board anymore. I might feel like posting on rape threads, for example, because I think that sometimes the legal aspect is not being accurately set out, but I'm not interested in the porn & prostitution threads because I've done the polarised bunfight on those issues and I'm not really cut out for it.

As I said, I tried for a long time to be measured and to engage but to no avail. If posters only want to post to disagree, then they'll get what they seek. Surely there is at least one issue on which people can find a common ground with another poster?

I do often wonder who fwr detractors have in mind when they complain about the board. Because both xenia and sgb, for example, are pretty robust in their posting but not sure they are necessarily a natural grouping beyond posting on the same section of MN. And I find the radical feminist nomenclature baffling; it seems like any viewpoint that actual touches on naming the source of a problem gets classed as radical. I don't think that's how it works.

To answer why I started this thread (and resurrected the first thread yesterday) quite simply it was linked to on another fwr thread.

I've not been involved in thread/arguments like this about the fwr board before and genuinely wanted to know why there was so much hostility towards the board. I haven't posted there very much but when I have I haven't had the negative experience some posters are reporting.

Even after 700odd posts on it in 2 days I'm still unsure whether some people are just deliberately obtuse, oppositional and anti-feminist or if there has been a lack of welcoming and tolerance from the people who do post on fwr.

"Which is exactly why I shall keep off! We are asked why we keep off, we give answers and we are told we must change.
I don't think any of the regulars have any interest in knowing the reasons- pointless if they then deny them all."

I am, and I know I will be mocked for this, genuinely baffled. I was accused of posting a personal insult today- I apologised, even though I didn't see what I had done wrong- and the poster concerned hasn't come back. That is obviously her prerogative- but it is incredibly difficult to change your behaviour if people won't tell what you are doing wrong!