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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give my neighbour our trampoline because I don't like her children?

74 replies

OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/04/2015 23:08

I like my neighbours, they are nice, friendly and helpful (but a bit nosy).

Their children are polite enough, but they lie, act like they think they are better than other kids, constantly batter their ball on the fence when I've asked them not to, are a bit grabby and can generally be quite nasty to other kids in the street. My two are older (14 and 13), Neighbours kids range from 2-12.

Anyway, we have been neighbours for about 8 years and get along fine, we have passed on loads of my kids stuff to them over the years, everything from clothes & toys to larger things such as bikes and climbing frames. Neighbours are very grateful.

Anyway, some years back they bought a trampoline for one of the DCs birthdays. It was made very clear (by the children) that my children weren't welcome to over to have a go, they were told they were too big etc even though they were only about 9 or 10 at the time. I am not sure how much of this my neighbour knows, my children (now teens) are very quiet and would never ask the adult if they could come over, they would wait to be asked which they never were. That christmas, I used some Tesco points and their Christmas money from my mum to buy one for our garden.

Next door managed to break theirs and haven't had one for a couple of years, my two don't use ours anymore. Veiled hints have been dropped by next door about them maybe getting a new one, she is well aware that ours doesn't get used. My generous spirit feels I should pass it on, but I don't want to as I don't like the children - then I feel quite mean. :(

OP posts:
RJnomore · 18/04/2015 23:11

Cheeky mare.

No don't give her it, regardless of the background.

strawberry01 · 18/04/2015 23:11

I wouldn't give them it. But I'm a horrible person Grin

MidniteScribbler · 18/04/2015 23:12

Not a chance.

ImNameyChangey · 18/04/2015 23:12

YANBU frankly. Find someone in real need. A young family or single parent.

Lyinginwait888 · 18/04/2015 23:13

No - your cousin in another county is going to make good use of it.

UniS · 18/04/2015 23:14

Advertise yours for sale. |Assuming your kids want to part with it.

Or use it yourself?
Or encourage your teens and their mates to hang out on the trampoline chatting?
You don't have to pass everything on over the fence.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 18/04/2015 23:14

Oh, don't, they sound vile. Your trampoline, you do what you want with it. Give her a list of cheap web sites instead.

LaurieFairyCake · 18/04/2015 23:14

Do you have Pinterest?

There's an amazing trampoline on there upcycled to a big chair/hammocky thing.

Pretend you're going to do that, then never get round to it.

Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/04/2015 23:14

I wonder if I am a bit jealous on my DC behalf? Because my neighbour knows lots of people her DC tend to get quite a bit of engagement with people and they will also happily go and ask to be included if someone is doing something fun whereas I felt that my DC were always a bit excluded as they were never invited but wouldn't just invite themselves - it makes me feel petty and spiteful and mean somehow.

OP posts:
EeyoresTail · 18/04/2015 23:17

I wouldn't give it to her.
By my calculations they broke theirs within a couple of years of having it so can't have treated it well.

Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/04/2015 23:17

I think if I said I was selling it, she'd happily buy it, as I said, I do like her and him both. But regardless of payment, I still don't want them to have it :D

She asked if the boys would be wanting to sell all their nerf guns and I said I'd ask them and they have said ok, but again, I just feel funny about doing it and watching her DC running around playing with them.

OP posts:
MomOfTwoGirls2 · 18/04/2015 23:18

Well, I'm with you on this on OP. I wouldn't pass it on to them based on how they reacted yo your DC when they got theirs.
But I would let your neighbours know that most(all?;) trampoline parts can be replaced, do not usually necessary to replace entire trampoline...
And I'd encourage your teens to give their trampoline a go when they have friends over. It is the most fabulous exercise!!

DinosAteMyFamily · 18/04/2015 23:19

She's got some bare bloody cheek dropping hints. Obviously you've been too generous in the past and she now thinks she can take the piss.

Shove a gnome on it, and next time she starts with any trampoline talk, wax lyrical about how yours is your very favourite lawn feature.

And don't feel mean. Her kids will hardly expire from lack of shit to bounce on.

HermiaDream · 18/04/2015 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 18/04/2015 23:22

And as some other poster mentioned, a trampoline is a fabulous place to just hang out and chat, jumping and tricks totally optional.

Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/04/2015 23:23

I really wish mine would use it tbh - we are fed up shifting the sodding thing round the garden to cut the grass etc. when they have been on it about once a year for the last two years.

I have to lever them out the house with a shoehorn at the moment.

I am glad you don't all think I am mean though. Neighbour takes in all my parcels and just offered to rake in the garage to see if she has any spare scooter wheels to fix DS2s broken one so can be generous herself.

OP posts:
NickiFury · 18/04/2015 23:25

I wouldn't.

Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/04/2015 23:26

I have teen boys - they don't hang about and chat very much, they sit in their bedrooms on screens for as long as they can get away with. they'd be happy for the trampoline to go just so they don't have to come out and help move it everytime the grass gets cut.

OP posts:
RusticBlush · 18/04/2015 23:27

Hmm I dunno - by what you say I think you would like to give them it as it might eat away at you if you don't as you do sound very generous and caring.
Could you not offer to sell them it for a small fee that could contribute to something for your own children?

JoffreyBaratheon · 18/04/2015 23:31

My neighbours' kids have a trampoline (only because a doting grandparent bought it - previously their outdoors toys consisted of a deflated football). They never use it but their parents sit on it smoking fags and glaring at passers-by.

Awful things. I'd just put it on Freecycle and if, by some remote chance, to neighbour responded to the ad - say you've already got a taker. Anything I have Freecycled has gone really quickly. Then someone can get the benefit of it.

Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/04/2015 23:42

I guess at the end of the day, it isn't mine to give away and boys are old enough to know that it belongs to them so I should probably just see what they want to do.

The trampoline is immaculate and although the original net was crap, we bought a new one - we have rules about not being allowed to have crowds on at once etc, hence the fact that ours is in perfect nick and theirs was broken. Incidentally we gave them the boys climbing frame that had a 10 year guarantee - boys got it at age 2 & 3, we passed it on when they were about 7 and 8 - they had it about a year and a half and apparently one of the bars on it snapped and they decided it was dangerous and got rid of it.

OP posts:
Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/04/2015 23:51

Actually thanks for referring me to pinterest as I've just spotted a trampoline tent.....DSs love camping out but sometimes the ground is just too marshy for the tent. That would be ideal :)

www.biggamehunters.co.uk/acatalog/12ft_Trampoline_Tent.html?gclid=CJnBg7v3gMUCFUYOwwodtZAAyQ

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 19/04/2015 00:04

That trampoline tent is fab!

justonemoretime2p · 19/04/2015 00:08

Sell it.

Silverdaisy · 19/04/2015 00:11

Trampolines are awful. But since you don't mind them, just give it to your neighbour. Are you still using it?