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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give my neighbour our trampoline because I don't like her children?

74 replies

OneMagnumisneverenough · 18/04/2015 23:08

I like my neighbours, they are nice, friendly and helpful (but a bit nosy).

Their children are polite enough, but they lie, act like they think they are better than other kids, constantly batter their ball on the fence when I've asked them not to, are a bit grabby and can generally be quite nasty to other kids in the street. My two are older (14 and 13), Neighbours kids range from 2-12.

Anyway, we have been neighbours for about 8 years and get along fine, we have passed on loads of my kids stuff to them over the years, everything from clothes & toys to larger things such as bikes and climbing frames. Neighbours are very grateful.

Anyway, some years back they bought a trampoline for one of the DCs birthdays. It was made very clear (by the children) that my children weren't welcome to over to have a go, they were told they were too big etc even though they were only about 9 or 10 at the time. I am not sure how much of this my neighbour knows, my children (now teens) are very quiet and would never ask the adult if they could come over, they would wait to be asked which they never were. That christmas, I used some Tesco points and their Christmas money from my mum to buy one for our garden.

Next door managed to break theirs and haven't had one for a couple of years, my two don't use ours anymore. Veiled hints have been dropped by next door about them maybe getting a new one, she is well aware that ours doesn't get used. My generous spirit feels I should pass it on, but I don't want to as I don't like the children - then I feel quite mean. :(

OP posts:
PushAPushPop · 19/04/2015 10:49

We sold our trampoline earlier this year, even though I could've donated to next door's kids easily just by passing it over the fence...

However, like you OP, I have to listen to them smashing their football against the wall that backs onto my living room all day every day (from 8am some days) and listening to the older kids telling the younger ones how rubbish they are at skipping/ singing/ running...

The very thought of having to listen to them bouncing on that all day under my bedroom window as well was too much to bear.

Confused
Stillyummy · 19/04/2015 10:51

eBay it then give the £ to YOUR (for avoidance of dobt) DCs :)

Stillyummy · 19/04/2015 10:52

Doubt!

hidingfromthem · 19/04/2015 10:56

YANBU.
do not give in to her.
the cheeky cow.
other kid's cunty behaviours should never, ever be rewarded.

Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 19/04/2015 11:11

Thanks all. I'll ask the boys later about whether they would use the tent. No point throwing money away if they wouldn't. Then we'll think about whether it's worth keeping it for another year or selling it on. Think I might try to hang on until next door buy a new one.

OP posts:
maliaki · 19/04/2015 11:13

I bet if you tell your boys this and the NDNs hints because yours isn't used then they'll be on yours the first chance they get.

YANBU, don't give it to her, ignore the hints.

sakura · 19/04/2015 11:15

YANBU.

Psipsina · 19/04/2015 11:17

I think you should take some photos of it, take it apart when next door is out and put it on ebay.

Tell her you have sold it before she actually asks you for it directly. Or say you passed it on to someone else.

You have no obligation in this regard.

expatinscotland · 19/04/2015 11:19

Do not give it to them. Ignore hints. This isn't hard, just don't do it. It's yours.

Psipsina · 19/04/2015 11:21

BTW I hate our trampoline - it's a 13 footer and my kids are 2-11yo, but the 11yo is now banished as it creaks so alarmingly.

I will get rid of it as soon as they can all agree they don't want it any more - mainly because I worry about the neighbours' peace and quiet but also as it takes up about half the garden.

FayKorgasm · 19/04/2015 11:51

I have had a trampoline for 8 years and it is in perfect working condition, they are difficult to break in my experience. And in reference to the A and E comment, none of mine or anyone I know DC were in hospital because of a trampoline, stairs and sports teams seem to be the main offenders there.
No way would I give it to the neighbours.

ragged · 19/04/2015 11:59

Do with your stuff what you like but You holding grudges against petty childish behaviour is Super Petty Childish, too. Sheesh.

Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 19/04/2015 12:16

I'm inclined to agree with you ragged, hence the post in the first place. I guess i am weighing up how bad I would feel not giving it to them about how bad I would feel by giving it to them.

I have no idea why the children are so unpleasant, as I say, the parents are both nice. Obviously the youngest is still lovely but they have all started out like that, although the eldest was already on the turn by the time I cam to know them.

I think they find it difficult to say no to them. Eldest seems a bit better now - maybe they will grow into lovely adults, it's the years between 3ish and teenage that seem to be the worst. It's not that I don't like children or grudge them being out playing btw - there a quite a lot of children in the street and I like them fine :) There is just something sleekit and a bit nasty/grabby about next door.

OP posts:
Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 19/04/2015 12:17

for "about" read "against" Blush

OP posts:
hidingfromthem · 19/04/2015 12:20

it's not petty or childish not to give the trampoline to the kids next door.
if they are bratty and mean, then they get nowt.
it's about deciding whether or not to reward bad behaviour.
they need to learn that acting like shits will go against them in life.

ragged · 19/04/2015 12:29

OP agrees with my point (ha).
Since it's a generous gift whoever it goes to, I completely understand wanting to only give it to someone you're fond of or a family whose needs you see as greater. Try to make this a decision motivated by positive not negative reasons, then you'll feel better about whatever happens.

tictactoad · 19/04/2015 12:45

How easy are they to sell or give away?

You need to get rid of it but if no-one wants to take it off your hands for cold hard cash or even for free how else are you going to do it?

If they're nigh on impossible to ditch I'd bite the bullet and go for the easy option.

Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 19/04/2015 12:53

It would be easy enough to sell/get rid of. I could put it on a FB selling site and have a queue up the street based on previous postings. If all else fails though there is a guy who will pick up any metal for free.

OP posts:
Original poster
OneMagnumisneverenough · 19/04/2015 12:56

I could give it to my nephew for his kids but they don't have a big enough garden and have no way of collecting so it would be up to us to transport it too.

OP posts:
tictactoad · 19/04/2015 12:57

In that case I'd just do it before they actually ask you for it which will be a lot more awkward.

tictactoad · 19/04/2015 12:58

X-post. Was replying to your previous Smile

juliascurr · 19/04/2015 13:00

local toy bank? school? youth club?
more kids will benefit

ChaiseLounger · 19/04/2015 13:10

Dont give it. Sell it.

ragged · 19/04/2015 13:40

Must admit this thread is making me salivate at the thought of getting rid of our trampoline. My youngest only 7yo though, so a long time to go.

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