To think friends should not make everyone walk at pace of their toddler?

[GuestCat]

My friends have a 2.5-year-old DD. They rarely use a buggy though sometimes they carry her when she's tired.

I find it really annoying that when we go anywhere with them, we all have to walk at their DD's pace (which is naturally a snail's pace). I hate walking slowly. It takes ages to get anywhere and I feel they should carry her so we can all walk at normal pace. Eg last weekend we went for a country walk, there were 6 adults and 4 older children, older children ran on ahead but adults felt obliged to walk at toddler pace and talk. She likes holding parents' hands and swinging on them, which is even slower. Its the same when we go on days out.

AIBU to think they should put her in a buggy or carry her to avoid slowing down the whole group? Should I say something?

I have slings / carriers as back-up formy 4 and 2 year old, but I think it's important for them to walk until they are tired first. That's the way that they'll improve their speed and stamina in the long run. Keeping down at their pace is irritating for now, but if I ferry them everywhere now, it will take longer for them to manage an adults pace. At present it takes me 8 minutes to walk to nursery, and over 25 to walk them home. Stressing them over pace and making walking unpleasant to them will backfire in the long run.

2.5 isn't too old for a buggy or backpack, dh could still carry dd2 in one at that age, I couldn't though and she's 50th centile ish for weight by 3 it was nearly killing him. There is a weird age where they get lazy and start refusing to walk, that's when we got rid of it entirely for both.

Danger in this situation kind of isn't relevant if there are no cars etc.

My 3.3 year old is now totally on foot in this situation but runs most of the time so isnt that slow . I would put her in the pushchair for a trip somewhere v busy though purely for containment.

but yabu op, it is better if lo walks

Yeah, definitely. Just leave the toddler behind to fend for themselves while you and your mate chat amongst yourselves

Toddler are only young for a short time and unfortunately they do walk slowly. If you decide to go out with someone who chooses not to take a pram then you will just have to put up with walking slowly. YABU.

We rush around all week and ds goes in the buggy to and from nursery on busy roads. At the weekend he gets to go at his pace. If friends invited me and my toddler for a walk or to a national trust place I would assume they would understand us wanting to let him enjoy the day too, not rush him around strapped into a buggy like a chore. If our friends hated the day then I'd expect them just to not ever suggest doing it again.
The world doesn't revolve around children, in fact not enough of my ds's week does (maybe cause I work? So shoot me) and for me a family Saturday stroll certainly should include him strolling.
Friends who don't like kids see me in the evenings for a drink, they don't get previous weekend time.

I still think it's really selfish to expect friends to walk at your toddlers pace on a day out. I'd be cross if I went to a national trust place with my DSC and we had to creep round very slowly all day, stopping every time your toddler wanted to dawdle, sit down or explore something. Can't you let him walk for a bit then put him in buggy? It's a day out for everyone not just your DC.

Clearly lots of people use buggy for their OWN convenience but expect other people to be patient, tolerant and have all the time in the world at weekends. My weekends are busy, my time is precious too.

I agree toddlers need to run around and walk, but it's not fair to hold up a group of people for hours while your toddler gets his exercise. Do it in your own time instead of wasting other people's.

YANBU in this situation, because there are 6 adults and 4 older children. I don't think everyone should walk at a snails pace to accomodate one person.
TBH, I probably wouldn't go on these walks. Walking is a form of exercise to me and having to dawdle would frustrate me. I like to walk quickly and feel my body moving properly, not at a restricted pace. I had to put up with it at times when my own children were little, but I did use a buggy a lot as well.

YABU what a shitty day out it would be for the toddler strapped in all day - and i'd bet for everyone else when he starts screaming to be let out.

There's nothing stopping you walking at your own pace, you can chat in a cafe at the end.

Who invited who? It doesn't really sound like you class this family as friends at all.

Also, why does your speed trump theirs? If you wanted a solution you could always suggest taking a pram on alternate walks then you can take it in turns to have a rubbish time?