To think friends should not make everyone walk at pace of their toddler?

[GuestCat]

My friends have a 2.5-year-old DD. They rarely use a buggy though sometimes they carry her when she's tired.

I find it really annoying that when we go anywhere with them, we all have to walk at their DD's pace (which is naturally a snail's pace). I hate walking slowly. It takes ages to get anywhere and I feel they should carry her so we can all walk at normal pace. Eg last weekend we went for a country walk, there were 6 adults and 4 older children, older children ran on ahead but adults felt obliged to walk at toddler pace and talk. She likes holding parents' hands and swinging on them, which is even slower. Its the same when we go on days out.

AIBU to think they should put her in a buggy or carry her to avoid slowing down the whole group? Should I say something?

YABU and unpleasant. Just don't go.

exercise their toddler

But it's not just for OP's convenience is it, it's for everyone else's convenience too. There are several adults and older kids who are also having to walk very slowly. If you bring your toddler to this sort of group event you need to keep up, not slow down the entire party. Why is toddler's desire to potter slowly so important?

Because they are little children, and it's once to be nice.....

nice to be nice, even

OP is being a grump, and has a choice not to go

CaspianSea
No, most 6 year olds don't walk faster than adults. They run and rush ahead but try holding a child's hand and walk fast and see how long they can keep the pace.

I used my fold up buggy way beyond 2.5 with my older 3. They are all close in age. And i plan to use a buggy for as long as i need to with no.4.

There are plenty of times when you need to pop a DC into the buggy and get a shift on. When they are tired or eating a snack it's nice for them to get in it for a bit. Essential for long days out. Plus you can put shopping under it and get older siblings to hold on to the sides while out too. I couldn't have coped without a buggy up to about 4 IIRC.

As for the thread - don't go out with them if you know they like to stroll at the baby's pace. A couple of years and she'll be running ahead too. It's nice that they are willing to let her enjoy the walk. Would you want to be strapped into a chair on a country walk just because your walking pace didn't suit someone else?

Hide your irritation with the toddler-pace by being the selfless one who goes on ahead and keeps an eye on the older kids!

'If you bring your toddler to this sort of group event you need to keep up, not slow down the entire party. Why is toddler's desire to potter slowly so important?'

Because some people are of the opinion that the world revolves around children.

Well if the family with 2,5 year old was invited they probably assumed it was going to be a leisurely stroll in the country side not a route march! If you particularly want to do some proper hiking let them know so they can bring a proper toddler carrier or buggy (can you even push a buggy along footpaths?) or choose not to come.

I think families with young kids like to go out with other families with young kids because they're more tolerant of each other and don't mind stops for breastfeeding babies, or dawdling toddlers or any other inconveniences of having kids. When I go out with groups of kids I'm always laid back and prepared for things to move slower. If there's something I especially want to do I just go without kids.

'OP is being a grump, and has a choice not to go'

And the parents could choose to put toddler in buggy/piggyback for group walks, allowing everyone in group to enjoy themselves. If everyone apart from OP had a toddler, fair enough she shouldn't complain. But when there is only 1 toddler, and the other families don't want to creep along at toddler-pace (or wait while toddler dawdles behind investigating things) the parents of toddler need to go with majority. Pace should be set by the other children and toddler carried if can't keep up. I wouldn't like my DSC running on ahead out of sight.

YANBU. I have have a dd that age. I would whip her up onto my shoulders. My dd either runs at full pelt or sits on the floor picking up dirt. . Even if I'm walking along and meet someone I always pick her up to keep pace with my friend it just seems polite to me. There are loads of other opportunities for her to run around at her own pace.

Yanbu. Dd was stop start at that age - charged ahead then got tired and went in buggy. We took a buggy out until she was 3, and after that, buggy board. She was very physical but still couldn't have done a 'walk' without help, and we wouldn't carry her.

I think that if the child is happy walking and the parents are happy walking it seems a shame to insist that it's strapped into a buggy instead, especially on a country walk.

I would say that if you find it very irritating to walk so slowly (which is understandable!) then you need to make your excuses and not go.

Just imagining taking a stroll through the woods or through a country park or wherever with a child strapped in because it can't go quick enough (rather than because it's tired or something) would feel all wrong to me, TBH.

I mean if everyone is really pissed off with them then they won't get invited and then everyone's happy.

Actually that's not a bad idea. Talk to the other people and decide whether you want to stop inviting this family, or choose someone to approach them and explain that if they want to come that's fine but their toddler needs to be in a buggy / carried.

Personally I can't understand the approach but I think they'd rather know that they are pissing everyone right off so that they can decide what to do.

OP you would HATE me. No buggy or pram after 18 months here. I had reins so she couldn't hare off into the bushes but she walked everywhere. And, I have a happy, healthy child.

I wouldn't mind at all if you wanted to walk ahead and meet up later.

They do sometimes arry her. They are not making anyone do anything. They re just not walking as fast as you would like.
My dm walks slowly now. If on a walk with he I would adjust to her pace. Not bcaue the "world rvolves around her" but because she simply can't walk at my preferred pace whereas I can walk at he slower pace.
I shall consider taking a motor scooter cattle prod on our next walk so it doesn't piss off the rest of the group.

I think you'll find that where older people are concerned the general viewpoint on here is about as far from that the world revolves around them as it's possible to get Amanda. There is no comparison between the child who walks slowly and for whom there are options and the older adult for whom there may not be.

is the point of the walk not primarily to enjoy the company? Are you really in such a rush that you can't slow down for a toddler?

We spend so much time rushing about - my youngest was in a buggy for the school run practically until he started school, because I never had the 3.5 hours it would have taken him to walk. A countryside stroll is exactly the time you can slow down and let them walk, surely? Yes maybe they could carry her a bit more, but it's hardly worth bringing up as an issue is it?

Some people (myself included) find it particularly difficult to walk slowly but it doesn't sound like the OP was being made to do it.

Perhaps there are other ways to socialise with friend and toddler.

I think YANBU. Both mine dawdled, faffed, sat down at that age. Did my head in. There was much buggy/shoulder action at that age. Happily they seem to still have managed to learn to walk at a fair clip now. Are the older kids old enough to be unsupervised?

Amanda

Could your mum not go in a wheelchair?

I agree with AmateurSecateurs

yarp

Yy amateur

Yabu to put up with this style of walking.

Go by yourselves at your pace if it chuffs you off.