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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my 8 year old have a Facebook account?

91 replies

goldenteapot · 17/04/2015 09:39

I'm not sure what to do!

I've just discovered that my dd has been using a youtube account at her dad's house and uploading videoes of herself (doing rubbish) and sharing them with her friends.

Youtube has NO workable privacy settings in this situation. I've looked at everything but it's all impossible to use. I've spent hours on it.

I'm tempted to just give her a Facebook account, because I can then control to privacy settings and she can share stuff with family - who I can control.

She is very creative and is really good at making videos. I don't want her to not have ANY outlet to do this.

What should I do?

OP posts:
Donthate · 17/04/2015 09:42

Definitely don't give her a Facebook account. She's 8. Shock

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 17/04/2015 09:42

Can't she make videos without them being put on the internet? Things can be shared with family without Facebook...

crymeariverwoo · 17/04/2015 09:45

I wouldn't personally let an 8 year old have a Facebook account. I think it is just too young, but that is your call. I would also be stopping the uploading videos on YouTube. I am big into watching youtube vloggers and trust me, it is not something for children to do. So I would seriously stop that. It is so easy for people to give out hate and also find where they live and it could attract the wrong audience.

MuddledMavis · 17/04/2015 09:45

My dd (7) emails videos to family members..

CocktailQueen · 17/04/2015 09:45

Why not give her an email address and then she can email videos to people, and you can monitor what she's doing. Definitely not a Facebook account.

CocktailQueen · 17/04/2015 09:47

YY to stopping videos going on Youtube as well. If video emails are too big to send, she - or you - could upload them onto Dropbox and invite friends/family members to download them. Or send by WeTransfer.

dragdownthemoon · 17/04/2015 09:48

No way should an 8yr old have a facebook account.

senua · 17/04/2015 09:48

You are not supposed to go on FB until you are 13yo

If you give her a FB account her family might see the videos but not her friends (and that's who she wants) because they won't be on.
If you give her a FB account then it doesn't stop her from still using youtube at her dad's.

If you allow her FB before the recommended age then how do you argue, without being hypocritical, that she can't do other underage stuff eg see 12 or 15 certificate films.

ImNameyChangey · 17/04/2015 09:51

YABU. Just because a child WANTS to go on social media does not mean they should be allowed. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

IgnoreMeEveryOtherReindeerDoes · 17/04/2015 09:51

I'm another that would say no to fb account.

You can set up a google+ account that can upload pictures and videos to. I have one that is private and can share stuff with just family.

muminhants · 17/04/2015 09:52

I agree - the minimum age for Facebook is 13. If she wants to share video clips she can use email or ask you to share them on your account. The Dropbox suggestion is a good one as well.

Social media is a nightmare to control and should be delayed as long as possible in my view. Look at that 17 year old who lost out on the job with the police because of some stupid tweet. And Twitter abuse is common.

Original poster
goldenteapot · 17/04/2015 09:55

I feel like it is a bit harsh not to allow her to do her videos and share them online. I know that with Facebook I could control who has access.

I looked at Googleplus as it is a good way of sharing videos but again, the security seems too complex to control.

For all its faults, Facebook is at least easy to control...

It's that element of people commenting etc. that they really love. All her friends are obsessed by vloggers.

OP posts:
OoompaLooompa · 17/04/2015 10:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gumnast2014 · 17/04/2015 10:04

I would let Her do it with strict controls and me overseeing everything. It's convienetnt and easy

Only1scoop · 17/04/2015 10:06

I'd have strong words with her dad regarding her Internet use.

I certainly wouldn't let her use fb at 8 Confused

Original poster
goldenteapot · 17/04/2015 10:07

I am trying to have her best interests at heart. If I approach ex-h and say that I want to totally ban her from sharing stuff online, he will just say 'erm no, she can keep her youtube account'. I want to try and find a compromise. Unfortunately when you are divorced you DON'T have total control.

OP posts:
FirstWeTakeManhattan · 17/04/2015 10:08

All her friends are obsessed by vloggers

That's a good reason then Hmm. Incidentally, I don't know a single 8 year old who has anything other than a passing awareness of vloggers.

She's eight. You asked. Every single person in this thread has said no, that's not a good idea. It isn't 'harsh' not to let her 'do her videos and share them online', it's exercising a bit of common sense.

Original poster
goldenteapot · 17/04/2015 10:09

I can see from her youtube account that at least a third of her class also have youtube accounts, as they are commenting on her posts.

I think you are being naive if you think this isn't becoming 'the new normal' and thinking she is some kind of exception.

I just want to make it possible but SAFER.

OP posts:
Original poster
goldenteapot · 17/04/2015 10:10

Her sister is a couple of years older and this was NOT a problem then. It seems to have really escalated in the last few months with her peer group.

OP posts:
Marmaladedandelions · 17/04/2015 10:10

I can understand that golden but I wouldn't (and my son is also 8 and does go on YouTube, has an iPhone bad mummy) but I definitely wouldn't want her to have Facebook. It isn't the privacy for me but the way it can be so addictive and kids just don't understand the logistics of 'friends' - if someone messaged my son and said 'I'm your friend from school. Don't you know me?' he would accept Hmm

I would instead want to approach this from the point of view that she understands exactly why uploading videos for the public is a bad idea.

Good luck with it - it isn't easy but you don't have to give in to a lesser of two evils.

Original poster
goldenteapot · 17/04/2015 10:11

Incidentally, I don't know a single 8 year old who has anything other than a passing awareness of vloggers.

Hmm REALLY? My dcs friends are OBSESSED with Minecraft vloggers.

OP posts:
Eastpoint · 17/04/2015 10:11

I think you can change the privacy settings on YouTube but then she won't get random pleasant comments from people she doesn't know. I would be more concerned with her needing external praise to boost her confidence, how will she handle someone writing posting mean comments? In my opinion she is too young to spend so much time unsupervised on the Internet.

letscookbreakfast · 17/04/2015 10:13

Absolutely not, she's far too young.

dementedpixie · 17/04/2015 10:15

The 13 year age for fb is linked to laws in the USA so not so applicable in the UK. My 2 have fb accounts but rarely use them except for games. (age 8 and 11)

my 8 yr old also watches videos on YouTube related to minecraft

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2015 10:19

She's already using the Internet inappropriately (uploading videos of herself????) and your response to this is to give her a Facebook account??
And other posters are being "naive" to think this isn't the new normal...
Get a grip, fgs, and supervise your child properly.

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