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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my 8 year old have a Facebook account?

91 replies

goldenteapot · 17/04/2015 09:39

I'm not sure what to do!

I've just discovered that my dd has been using a youtube account at her dad's house and uploading videoes of herself (doing rubbish) and sharing them with her friends.

Youtube has NO workable privacy settings in this situation. I've looked at everything but it's all impossible to use. I've spent hours on it.

I'm tempted to just give her a Facebook account, because I can then control to privacy settings and she can share stuff with family - who I can control.

She is very creative and is really good at making videos. I don't want her to not have ANY outlet to do this.

What should I do?

OP posts:
BertieBotts · 17/04/2015 17:09

"once you upload a video to Facebook it is their property and they can distribute it however they see fit."

This is bollocks. They own the rights to use your photos and videos without paying royalties on them. They don't own the rights to distribute it. And if Facebook was distributing inappropriate stuff they'd be shut down pretty quickly anyway.

"I just think if people can comment on things my dcs do I would prefer it to be people we know."

Fine, personal preference, but that doesn't mean that your preferences should apply to everybody, or that somebody else is wrong for not minding.

OddBoots · 17/04/2015 17:16

A lot of schools run information evenings along with local police to talk to parents about why this kind of thing is a potential danger. It sounds like your dd's school has a particularly bad problem with it, could you ask them about running an internet safety session for parents and ask her dad to attend?

binspin · 17/04/2015 17:25

Get her outdoors being a child!

You're shocked that parents watch what their children are doing online? ? I'm shocked that you don't.

Parent her.

nickersinaknot · 17/04/2015 17:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nanny0gg · 17/04/2015 17:33

my 8 yr old also watches videos on YouTube related to minecraft

It's a shame all those Minecraft videos aren't all about Minecraft.

Have you checked the ones he's watched? My DGC is now banned from YouTube because of what he came across. You cannot control it.

DoJo · 17/04/2015 17:56

This is bollocks. They own the rights to use your photos and videos without paying royalties on them. They don't own the rights to distribute it. And if Facebook was distributing inappropriate stuff they'd be shut down pretty quickly anyway.

I meant distribute in terms using it in any way they choose and of transferring the right to use your content to other companies etc if they choose to plus sub-licensing it as well. I did mean to include the word 'effectively' (not sure where that went) so apologies if my wording was wooly. I didn't say anything about them distributing inappropriate content - my comment was in the context of the OP's belief that uploading videos to Facebook was somehow more 'secure' than other media.

notquiteruralbliss · 17/04/2015 20:24

Tell her to set her age @ 99 ( that's what my DCs did) and make sure her privacy settings are set correctly. Facebook is just a social media platform.

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2015 20:29

That was a completely ludicrous post, notquiteruralbliss

notquiteruralbliss · 17/04/2015 20:49

Um no it wasn't - it worked perfectly well for my DCs. They friend only people they know in real life, set their privacy settings appropriately and post only things their maiden aunt would be unruffled by. I can't vouch for what they do on TUMBLR though.

landrover · 17/04/2015 21:12

But why get your child to lie? I don't understand why parents are letting this happen? By the way OP, I would be telling the school about 8 year olds having youtube accounts, so they can at least talk to the children about it. I would tell my child only to share videos through my account, and not to share videos when she is at her dads. My child would do as she was told, end of problem, good luck!

notquiteruralbliss · 17/04/2015 21:24

Because it is none of FBs business how old a user is.

notquiteruralbliss · 17/04/2015 21:25

And 99 is (in effect) stating that.

Floggingmolly · 17/04/2015 21:36

Yes, notquite, letting your 8 year old have a Facebook account by lying about their age is a way to stick it to the Man, alright.

notquiteruralbliss · 17/04/2015 22:17

Not a question of 'sticking it to the man' (though that is a delightfully quaint expression which takes me back to the 60s). More that we find Facebook useful so we use it, but we don't volunteer unnecessary information or forget that anything we post should be treated as public. It doesn't matter that DCs have used Facebook since they were relatively young because they don't post anything that would be concerning.

Scuttlebutter · 17/04/2015 23:44

On FB though, there is also the issue that it is an adult platform so therefore it's appropriate to have posts that discuss adult issues. I don't censor my posts in terms of their suitability for an all age audience, and if enough children join, soon enough there will be complaints that the content is not suitable. Plenty of my adult friends have discussions on there which are not the right thing for an 8 year old to see.

Summeblaze · 18/04/2015 07:58

Who are all these 8 year old vloggers. Just asked my DD who is 11 and she doesn't know anyone who does these. She uses Instagram but won't be having FB til she is older and that may not be 13. It may be older.

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