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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not let BIL move in again

71 replies

GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/04/2015 19:38

My DH BIL has been made homeless, again!
This is the 5th time in a year he's been chucked out. Reasons being that he's a dirty bastard and failure to pay rent.

He's stayed with us twice before, 1st time when I was in hospital having DD, came home from the hospital to find him there. Three weeks he was there! Worst time of my life, I felt banished to the bedroom coupled with a newborn who cried constantly (silent reflux) and with no bloody support from DH!
Second time was over new years for another two weeks until I lost my shit and called the police to chuck him and DH out. He didn't bathe once when staying with us, he stank out my flat, after telling him to get in the bath and bloody wash several times a day he still didn't didn't [boak]
He smokes way too much, I kicked off as we have a balcony for smoking, never in the flat, I caught him lighting up in the front room out of the window. The prick burnt my expensive curtains. Still waiting for the money to be refunded for new ones and trashed my front room with beer cans, takeaway boxes and dirty clothes.
Coupled with the fact he's a heavy drinker, came home one time to find him shagging in my bed with a girl who wasn't his gf, the fact he thinks its hilarious to pretend to give my 14mo DD alcohol (I'm not ashamed to say he had a black eye from me) and that he's just a general prick and I cant stand him. He expected me to cook for him and gave me three black bags full of stinking washing to do (went straight out into the garden, there's a thing called a laundrette, or a clever idea, do it your fucking self) with no contribution. I wasn't asking much, £20 to cover the cost of extra food, and the elec shot up whilst he was staying.
Me and DH actually split up for a few months because I was so angry with him for not protecting his daughter from this specimen (I'm big and ugly enough to protect myself) and for just being a fucking coward.
Him and DH are not even close, the only time he ever hears off him is for money Or to ask if he can stay because he's been kicked out.
Now phone call this morning off him begging to stay because he's been kicked out because he's got scabies amongst other things and his gf doesn't want him near her. As soon as I heard his name, my expression changed and DH backtracked as soon as he saw this. Told him he's sorry but he can't help him, go ask friend blah blah blah. The problem being BIL has burnt all bridges with his friends, and frankly i couldn't give a shit.
MIL has been ringing all day saying how family is so important (she can't help, she's working in another country at the moment) and basically trying to guilt trip DH into letting BIL stay.
He says he's feeling torn between me and him and doesn't know what to do. I've told him there's such a thing as a B+B or hotel and if he's pissed his money up the wall then that's his problem.

Sorry didn't realise it was going to be so wrong Blush

AiBU?

OP posts:
GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/04/2015 19:39

*long not wrong

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AlternativeTentacles · 15/04/2015 19:41

No. Never again.

He says he's feeling torn between me and him and doesn't know what to do

Well, perhaps he can fuck off and get a bedsit with him then.

SweetSorrow · 15/04/2015 19:42

God no! Bad enough having decent house guests staying never mind filthy, misogynists! Stick to your guns!

OnNobodysSecretService · 15/04/2015 19:42

YADNBU! And if MIL is so concerned she can spend her time getting money to him for a b&b or finding a friend/mug who'll take him in as there's no way he hasn't burnt all bridges with you in any reasonable person's eyes.

daffsandtulips · 15/04/2015 19:42

What Alternative has just said.

Wineandrosesagain · 15/04/2015 19:43

YANBU. Do not let him move in. You already know what he's like. He will not have changed.

GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/04/2015 19:43

Alternative that made my laugh! That was what happened when we spilt up and he came crawling back tail between legs begging for another chance.
He's not a bad bloke, just a fucking mouse when his family is concerned

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DamnBamboo · 15/04/2015 19:45

Tell your DH to pay for the bedsit and join him!
Why would you let this miserable shit into your house? I wouldn't!

Nolim · 15/04/2015 19:46

Yanbu

HouseAtreides · 15/04/2015 19:47

Never, never, never. I would end up doing time if I had a creep like him in my house for one night let alone weeks. Nooooooo!!

Quitelikely · 15/04/2015 19:47

I can hardly believe someone like him exists!

I have had a sheltered life.

Hassled · 15/04/2015 19:47

He has scabies? Blimey.

Stick to your guns. He sounds bloody awful.

starfishmummy · 15/04/2015 19:50

Yanbu.
(And you dont want scabies in the house either!!)

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 15/04/2015 19:50

You don't have to let him stay but there's no excuse for giving someone a black eye...

GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/04/2015 19:51

QuiteLikely ill send him your way, he's such a delightful bloke.

Scabies is most likely from being a dirty bastard, am i correct? The thought of it makes my skin crawl and hell will have to freeze over before he comes into contact with my DD

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DrElizabethPlimpton · 15/04/2015 19:51

Never ever let him in your house again. What a wanker.

CSIJanner · 15/04/2015 19:52

I've just googled scabies as I know it's a skin disorder but that's it. I now can't stop itching. And your MIL wants you to have him stay? With her grandchild?

I'm pretty sure if granny's that desperate for her son to be looked after, she can FedEx her house keys home.

Clutterbugsmum · 15/04/2015 19:52

Perhaps it's time to remind DH what happened last time and how much he enjoyed living in a bedsit with his brother. And that's his future if he thinks BIL more important then is wife and daughter.

As for MIL tell her to stinky BIL a ticket and he can go visit her if family is sooooo important or shut up.

GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/04/2015 19:53

What I done was wrong but trying to give a 11mo at the time alcohol and trying to put fags into her mouth, refusing to leave, following us into my bedroom to do it. I lost my shit. Obviously I should have been grown up about it, but it was more of a act first, think later situation.

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Maryz · 15/04/2015 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 15/04/2015 19:57

He has scabies and the idiot of a man that live with, thinks that is a nice thing to have around a young baby.

Tell him, if the dirty bastard so much as puts a foot in the door, they can both fuck off and live in a box.

IFinishedTheBiscuits · 15/04/2015 19:58

Are there homeless shelters where he could go? They might also help him with his drink problem etc.
He shouldn't be staying with you though.

GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/04/2015 19:58

I hope it is an unanimous vote, DH knows that I've posted on here and he can read the replies when he is home from work.
He wouldn't dare bring him back here, divorce had been mentioned in the past and he knows I will get him to leave for good.
Apparently MIL sent money on Friday to cover his rent, she can't afford to send no more and DH is not in any situation to help (separate bank accounts).
Tough luck matey.

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IFinishedTheBiscuits · 15/04/2015 19:59

How old is he actually?

GlitterTwinkleToes · 15/04/2015 20:00

DH gave him a list earlier of local shelters In our area (he's stayed in them before so knows exactly where they are) and the council will refuse to house him as he has made himself intentionally homeless.

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