To think guests do not need to use our en-suite as well as the family bathroom?

[MidnightSun77]

It really irritates me when guests walk through our bedroom to use our en-suite 'because someone else is in the other bathroom' or because it has a better shower. They don't do it when we're in bed but I prefer to keep our bedroom and en-suite out of bounds even in daytime.

The family bathroom is right next to guest-room, although the shower over bath is set low on wall, so if they want to shower they have to crouch or sit in the bath (walls are part-tiled). However I've used it myself many times and its not difficult to use. DH thinks we should also offer guests use of walk-in shower in en-suite as well, but unless they have mobility problems I don't see why they can't use family bathroom! In my experience once they use en-suite shower they keep popping in and out to use loo/brush their teeth/get changed etc, which I find intrusive.

AIBU to not offer en-suite, and to politely ask them to use other bathroom?

Some people really don't like using a bath. If it's the only option, fair enough, but it isn't and I think YABU.

I'm shocked at how many people think they should use the host's ensuite!! OP has a perfectly good bath with a wall-mounted shower-hose, which IMO enables guests to wash with running water and is therefore a 'proper shower'.
I don't get what is so difficult about sitting/crouching in bath-tub for 10mins instead of standing. You will get just as clean. Unless you are heavily pregnant or can't get in and out of a bathtub why on earth would you 'struggle' with this?

I often stay at friends houses where there is an ensuite and a family bathroom (sometimes with a bath but no shower attachment). I wouldn't dream of expecting to use the ensuite shower just because I dislike baths! You don't have to soak in bath or fill it to top. Just add enough water for a quick wash.
As long as I can wash, there isn't a problem. Obviously i prefer a shower but it wouldn't upset me in any way if I couldn't have one for few days. You need to be flexible and adapt when staying with friends, not make things awkward for them. If I want a guaranteed shower I'll book a hotel.

As for using host's ensuite loo because you can't wait... What would you do if you needed it in night and family bathroom was occupied? Barge into friend's bedroom?

Bedrooms and ensuites are private. People don't want you nipping in and out of their bedroom to use their shower. Fair enough if it's an old friend who you know well, but her partner may not feel comfortable with it. Many people just like to keep their bedrooms private.

If OP gave guests her bedroom and ensuite, would it be ok for OP and her partner to keep going in and out to use their walk-in shower? I don't think so.

We have the exact same set up.

Main family bathroom with a shower attachment on the bath then proper walk in shower in our ensuite. Everyone uses the ensuite shower

People using our ensuite really doesn't bother me. We only have family and close friends to stay, if I didn't feel comfortable about them walking through my bedroom, I wouldn't feel comfortable about them staying over at all.

No one would ever dream of going in there without asking first, or just walking in without knocking. We never close bedroom doors, there's nothing they're going to see walking through that they can't see from the landing anyway

I'm equally shocked someone would be so precious about a shower they force their guests to crouch under a crappy tap or use only a bath where there's a perfectly good shower for them to use.

I am on the fence!!! I think what you are providing is fine, but I also think its ok to let them use your en suite if they really want. However under no circumstances should they do so without your permission!!!

We have just one bathroom and until very recently it had the same set up as yours. We survived with it for 9 years!

Nobody is forcing the guests to do anything. They can chose how they wish to use the facilities in the family bathroom to wash. Nobody ever suffered through not being able to use a power shower instead of a handheld one or a bath. Personal preference is what you exercise on your own home not while you are a guest in someone's home.

Fucking hell Sabrina no need for that at all!

OP, I'd hate that shower setup, but I hate baths. I think YABU.

Fucking hell Sabrina no need for that at all!

OP, I'd hate that shower setup, but I hate baths. I think YABU.

I'm so glad I don't have visitors staying over (one bed flat) as I don't think I could live up to MN hostess standards! I don't think it's unreasonable at all not to want people to use the en suite, especially if they don't ask first.

And as for Sabrina...

Looks like we've got one of those keyboard warrior types about.

A agree with you. If it's only for a few days then even if it's less than perfect it's better than nothing and they should just respect your boundaries and stop treating your house like a hotel. if the shower is that awkward to use they are presumably welcome to run a bath instead?

But if I were you I'd get the bathroom tiled to full height and move the shower fixing up a bit.

Sabrina, there's more to being a good hostess than providing a walk-in shower!

I am not comfortable with guests coming in my bedroom or ensuite (unless they're close female friends but then DH would not like that). We have a downstairs shower room so it's not an issue now, but in old house we had a bathroom everyone shared. With a shower-attachment over bath (shock!) No one ever complained and we didn't find it fiddly or inconvenient to shower while crouching. Any reasonably supple person can manage this.

Bedrooms are private. We often have DH's colleagues to stay. I don't want them seeing my underwear, nightwear, Kama sutra or anything else I might leave lying around in bedroom! Also, ensuite is where I keep my expensive toiletries and personal items like epilator and lady products, that I don't want guests to see or touch.

To all those ppl saying the guests shouldn't get the 'crappy shower' when there is a better shower.... what are your guest facilities like? Is your guestroom as big as your bedroom, is the view as nice? Is your guestbed as good as your own? Shouldnt you offer your own bed to guests if your mattress is better quality? Anyone out there who 'makes' guests sleep on a sofa-bed instead of a memory-foam double? LOL

Yeah but something like a bed can't really be shared, unless you want to get very intimate! Whereas a shower people use at different times so potentially everyone can share the one shower, v different to a bed.
Although as it goes I do give up my bed and take the sofa rather than have guests sleeping on it. I generally try to give my guests the best version of whatever on the basis that they are only there a short time whereas I have all the rest of the time to make use of the 'best' things.

Reminds me when my adult minging stepson lived with us. He had an ensuite wetroom in his room downstairs. But would often come out of his room and go upstairs and use our loo (for number two s very obviously as he didn't always flush) :/ When I challenged this after a couple of occasions he said he had mates coming round and he didn't want them walking in his room when he was having a dump in his bathroom :/ I soon put a stop to that caper. I am with you OP , there is a reason for an ensuite i.e. an exclusive bathroom for the person or people occupying that bedroom.

In your situation (I hate showers like that), I would absolutely offer up the en suite bathroom. However, I would never stay in someon else's house and expect access to their en suite bathroom.

If you can remove the shower head from the hook to use hand held I fail to see any readon why any person (unless physically unable to hold the thing). Couldnt still have a decent shower. Rude to just waltz in to someones en suite uninvited.

I soap up, and wash my hair with both hands. Holding a shower head is annoying. Which is why I'd offer the en suite, in the OP's circs.

Nobody but me uses the ensuite. I might let my 4 year old have a wee in the loo if she's desperate but that's it.

My guest room has the same quality stuff in it as mine plus stuff like spare pillows/throws, hot water bottles, towels, tissues, a basket of local tourist info, and some books and magazines. If I have a houseful I generally give up my room and share with the dc. I don't see the problem with letting friends use your room.

Our ensuite is at the top floor of a townhouse. You have to pass two other bathrooms to get to it. However, I suspected that my FIL was using the ensuite toilet when I was out and PIL were shopping nearby. I was proved right one day when DH was on night shift and was surprised by FIL walking into our bedroom, undoing his trousers! He turned tail and bounded down three flights of stairs and he never bothered our ensuite again. YANBU. What is wrong with people? Are they like alley cats, marking territory?

YANBU at all.
We have a little 'suite' of rooms which we jokingly call 'the penthouse' which comprise our bedroom, his + hers walk in wardrobes, en-suite (which is actually the best bathroom in the house) and a small snug sitting room.
It is all strictly off limits to ANYONE bar myself and DW. Even the kids don't come in without knocking.

Personally I would be mortified saying to guests "yes, we have s walk-in shower but you can just crouch in the bath holding that hand-held shower head over yourself"
I mean a hand-held hose down is ok if that's all that's available but when there's a good shower in the house? I think it's churlish not to allow its use.

I just wouldn't even let them know it's there. Why do you need to let your friends / family into your bedroom?

We refurbished our ensuite bathroom a couple of years back and no one except us two have set foot in it since. Our friends / family have never even seen it.

In the set up described I would not expect to waltz in uninvited but would think it very inhospitable if the hosts couldn't find 10 minutes to spare their bathroom to allow guests to have a comfortable proper shower.