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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think guests do not need to use our en-suite as well as the family bathroom?

103 replies

MidnightSun77 · 15/04/2015 18:00

It really irritates me when guests walk through our bedroom to use our en-suite 'because someone else is in the other bathroom' or because it has a better shower. They don't do it when we're in bed but I prefer to keep our bedroom and en-suite out of bounds even in daytime.

The family bathroom is right next to guest-room, although the shower over bath is set low on wall, so if they want to shower they have to crouch or sit in the bath (walls are part-tiled). However I've used it myself many times and its not difficult to use. DH thinks we should also offer guests use of walk-in shower in en-suite as well, but unless they have mobility problems I don't see why they can't use family bathroom! In my experience once they use en-suite shower they keep popping in and out to use loo/brush their teeth/get changed etc, which I find intrusive.

AIBU to not offer en-suite, and to politely ask them to use other bathroom?

OP posts:
Notso · 15/04/2015 18:54

I grew up in a house with a similar set up and my parents still use it. It's bloody awful and they are embarrassed to let guests use it. They don't have anything else.

I don't like baths, particularly not in someone else's house. If you want to be a good host I'd let guests use your proper shower.

muminhants · 15/04/2015 18:55

My mum has skimpy guest bath towels. I like big ones, the ones the White Company calls bath sheets. How do you dry yourself properly with a silly small one? I'm with CaTsMaMmA on that one :)

BigBoobiedBertha · 15/04/2015 18:55

No it wouldn't bother me to have a bath either. I wouldn't even be that bothered about a shower attachment for my hair so long as there was something to rinse my hair with like a cup or a jug. If they are visiting you, they are there to see you - it isn't a hotel, it is your home. Your room is yours and you have to have somewhere to escape to for a couple of minutes. Guests, even the lovely ones, can be very draining. Going in without knocking is just plain rude. How would they like it if you went into the guest room without knocking whilst they were having five minutes peace or were getting changed?!

neepsandtatties · 15/04/2015 18:55

OP, what you are describing is no way intended for people to shower under! It's intended for people to use to rinse hair with when having a bath! The family bathroom in our new house has one of these, and a separate shower cubicle in the same room.

So your AIBU should read "AIBU to think guests should not use the only shower in the house, when they could have a bath instead"

muminhants · 15/04/2015 18:57

I had a shower like this in my previous house when we did have an en-suite and it was fine. It was a bit annoying to crouch in the bath to use it but none of my friends/relatives ever asked to use our walk-in shower (possibly my mum - I don't think so though).

If it's a real problem I'd swap the bedrooms round for the duration of the visit. Otherwise keep the bedroom door shut and clearly out of bounds.

Brandysnapper · 15/04/2015 19:29

Muminhants, Argos call them bath sheets too Wink

ReallyBadParty · 15/04/2015 19:31

And what if host has a king size bed and guests only a double- should they be treated to the better bed too?

Madness.

mustbetimeforacreamtea · 15/04/2015 19:33

If I was somewhere with that kind of shower and the en-suite wasn't on offer I wouldn't use the bath because it takes so much longer than a shower and I'd rather be spending the time with my friends. Also I'd be worried about getting water on the walls & floor and damaging things. Plus it would use far more water and you don't know whether their plumbing can cope with every guest having a bath as well as the hosts showering.

I'd be relying on strip washes and dry shampoo for the duration of the stay.

RenterNomad · 15/04/2015 19:37

You could put a pressure-mounted shower rail to hang a curtain against the untiled wall. Therr eould be no screws, and no wet wall!

YouMakeMyHeartSmile · 15/04/2015 19:40

Well... We only have one bathroom and the shower is shit (also a rental property). If guests don't like it then I guess they just won't come back! Unless they're staying for months I don't think a rubbish shower is that much of a hardship. YANBU.

mustbetimeforacreamtea · 15/04/2015 19:41

I wouldn't expect to use the ensuite but if it was offered it would just be a quick dash in and out and only when convenient to the host.

As the OP is happy with the bath arrangement I'd be giving the guests the master bedroom. Surely hosting is all about making your guests comfortable?

LuisSuarezTeeth · 15/04/2015 20:28

Sounds like it's really winding you up, so I'd just say "sorry you can't use the ensuite". I personally don't get it, but it's your home, so do things your way.

Sorry to be nosy, but it sounds like you have a lot of guests a lot of the time! Why is that? would drive me nuts

OwlinaTree · 15/04/2015 20:40

Fair enough midnight.

cleanmyhouse · 15/04/2015 23:25

Wow. Just wow.

GloGirl · 15/04/2015 23:43

I'd hate people swanning through my room to use the loo but in your set up, I would definitely expect people to use the en-suite to shower in. I agree with your DH.

Caterina99 · 16/04/2015 01:33

I lived in a rental property with this exact same set up - wtf stingy landlord!?

We just told guests that the family bathroom was their bathroom for loo, general washing etc, and to use our ensuite shower when they wanted to shower. Which they did, usually quite speedily! No one would dream of coming in our bedroom without knocking or using the loo in there unless I assume they were desperate!

FastWindow · 16/04/2015 01:36

Could you not have your staff inform the guests that the en-suite is out of bounds?

itsbetterthanabox · 16/04/2015 01:55

I'm so confused. Who are the guests and why are they in your house?

FredSaid · 16/04/2015 02:02

Nope im with you here, i only have only have one bathroom and i dont like people using it. Ocd!

KatieKaye · 16/04/2015 05:56

So guests can have a bath or use the shower as a handheld one?
All options covered for them as far as washing facilities go.
Okay, it might not be the best shower in the world but it's fine.
I wouldn't let them use the ensuite either and I'd think they were precious for asking.
Unless they are paying guests they are there as friends or family and should graciously accept what is on offer.

Kittymum03 · 16/04/2015 06:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

carabos · 16/04/2015 06:54

Do you have a lot of overnight guests? From your posts it appears that you have a constant stream of folks plodding through your bedroom?

BuriedSardine · 16/04/2015 07:24

There are some breathtakingly demanding guests on this thread.
OP, I don't think you're being remotely U.
Any guest with an ounce of manners wouldn't dream of invading your privacy like that. I think a lock on your door and a friendly but firm 'your bathroom's down here,' should do.
As for the shower, hot water comes out. It sounds perfectly usable.

Mistigri · 16/04/2015 07:27

I can't imagine inviting a guest that I disliked enough to deprive them of the only decent shower in the house :-/

If you don't want them, don't invite them ...

loveareadingthanks · 16/04/2015 11:50

I don't think you have to let people use your en-suite.

But I also don't think you are offering a shower to your guests. You can only offer them a bath.

Those showerheads you are describing are for washing hair over bath, they aren't intended for showering under. Ex used to have one in his house, he used to stand in bath and sort of hose himself down, resulting in half the plaster falling off the wall after a couple of years. Squatting in bath underneath one of these is NOT having a shower and I wouldn't be happy being told to do that if I were a guest and had been offered a shower. It's ridiculous. Just tell them to have a bath and don't even mention the shower - they'll know it's for rinsing hair only.