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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think guests do not need to use our en-suite as well as the family bathroom?

103 replies

MidnightSun77 · 15/04/2015 18:00

It really irritates me when guests walk through our bedroom to use our en-suite 'because someone else is in the other bathroom' or because it has a better shower. They don't do it when we're in bed but I prefer to keep our bedroom and en-suite out of bounds even in daytime.

The family bathroom is right next to guest-room, although the shower over bath is set low on wall, so if they want to shower they have to crouch or sit in the bath (walls are part-tiled). However I've used it myself many times and its not difficult to use. DH thinks we should also offer guests use of walk-in shower in en-suite as well, but unless they have mobility problems I don't see why they can't use family bathroom! In my experience once they use en-suite shower they keep popping in and out to use loo/brush their teeth/get changed etc, which I find intrusive.

AIBU to not offer en-suite, and to politely ask them to use other bathroom?

OP posts:

AryaUnderfoot · 15/04/2015 18:29

Our friends have a decent shower in their en-suite and a crappy attachment in their bathroom. When we stay with them they tell us to use their en-suite if we want a shower.

Sparklingbrook · 15/04/2015 18:30

How did they find out what the shower in the ensuite was like in the first place?

LuisSuarezTeeth · 15/04/2015 18:30

Who are the guests? Do you not know them very well?

ReallyBadParty · 15/04/2015 18:31

YANBU, so not!

I cannot believe the cheek if people who would use someone else's en suite.

Even if the other bathroom were truly shit, it us just not polite. Your bedroom is sacrosanct.

This happened to us, and I was horrified, it was my friend's irritating boyfriend who did it, I don't want visitors in my bedroom/bathroom.

LaLaLaaaa · 15/04/2015 18:31

I would want my guests to enjoy themselves and be comfortable.

Would you want to use a shower where you had to crouch and sit?
YABU

And a bit precious...

Original poster

MidnightSun77 · 15/04/2015 18:33

OnlyLovers, yes the shower-head can be taken off wall and used as handheld shower, or left on wall and adjusted with swivel-bracket. A bath-stool is a good idea actually.
The water pressure is very good in family bathroom, so it's powerful unlike some over-bath showers.

Pipbin, of course I'd let someone use en-suite if they were desperate for loo.
I just don't like people assuming they can use en-suite whenever they feel like it, or walking into our bedroom without knocking. I like to get changed in peace or take a quiet 5 mins without people coming in and out.

OP posts:

LuisSuarezTeeth · 15/04/2015 18:33

sabrina doesn't take much to get you enraged does it?

rollonthesummer · 15/04/2015 18:34

although the shower over bath is set low on wall, so if they want to shower they have to crouch or sit in the bath

I don't have mobility issues, but that sounds horrible!

Who are these guests? In laws by any chance!?

CaptainHolt · 15/04/2015 18:36

It's one thing using a weird and crappy shower because it's all there is, and another to use one when you know there is a proper one 6 feet away.

Sparklingbrook · 15/04/2015 18:36

sabrina does seem very angry.

muminhants · 15/04/2015 18:37

There are some very spoilt people on here. If you want to keep your en-suite private, that is your perogative. My house only has one bathroom. My shower is ok, but if it weren't, it would be tough. Fortunately I have more than loo.

Can you get a temporary stick-on hook for the shower perhaps so people can hang it higher up? But I don't think you need to accept people traipsing through your bedroom because your shower isn't up the high standards MNers require.

I suppose an alternative would be to let guests have your room. Then you use the family bathroom with the rubbish shower. But if they're only staying for a couple of days surely they can cope?

ReallyBadParty · 15/04/2015 18:39

But surely if you visit someone you can put up with less than perfect facilities for just a night or two? As a guest, I'd just take what I am given.

OnlyLovers · 15/04/2015 18:39

Midnight, I had a nice Muji one, although it was some years ago so I'm not sure if they still do them. You'll be able to find one somewhere though.

CaTsMaMmA · 15/04/2015 18:39

maybe sabrina is cross as she had to crouch shower this morning and keep her legs crossed while someone else hogged the bathroom to have their crouchy shower for the rest of the day. ;)

DocHollywood · 15/04/2015 18:39

Why can't you or the landlord put a hook on the wall higher up? The landlord can't think this is normal unless it's marketed as a 'toddlers' shower.

Runningupthathill82 · 15/04/2015 18:42

If I know someone well enough to have them staying at my house, chances are they're family or close friends.

I want my family and close friends to be comfortable in my house and to be able to use it as their own. Hence I would let them use the en suite without question, if the shower is better in there or if there's someone else in the main bathroom.

Original poster

MidnightSun77 · 15/04/2015 18:43

Luis, the guests are mainly close friends, also some friends of DH and occasionally family members.

Arya, shower is not a 'crappy attachment' it's one that has a hose built into mixer taps. Bathrooms were brand-new when we moved in, very modern apart from lack of standing-shower in family bathroom. Hot water is piped so it doesn't run out.

Is it really such a hardship to take a bath and rinse off with shower instead of having stand-up shower? We keep it spotlessly clean and leave antibacterial surface-cleaning wipes in bathroom if guests want to be extra-hygenic. Just curious why people are against using bath. I often do this out of choice, and would have no problem having bath instead of shower in a friend's house. As long as there is a way to rinse off and wash my hair with running water, it wouldn't bother me.

OP posts:

Charlotte3333 · 15/04/2015 18:44

We have an ensuite with a lovely swanky shower and the family bathroom belongs to the children. I wouldn't expect guests to go in there, even when it's cleaned it's still definitely got a faint air of little-filthy-donkey, so guests use our ensuite. I'd feel dreadful asking them to use the boys bathroom.

Original poster

MidnightSun77 · 15/04/2015 18:46

Walls are painted and only part-tiled, so landlord would need to fully-tile walls around bath before we could position shower higher up (or paint would get wet). We asked him about fully tiling it but he said no.

OP posts:

CaTsMaMmA · 15/04/2015 18:47

if it's not really a hardship for a couple of days, then why is is such a hardship to share the better facilities?

i still say yabu and quite selfish too. i bet you have skimpy guest bath towels too

Brandysnapper · 15/04/2015 18:48

I wouldn't stay in a hotel that had the arrangement you describe (no reason why an over-bath shower can't be decent!) but if staying with someone else I'd put up with an air bed and a bath if need be. If the host had a spare bed and a nice shower I didn't have access to, I might think again!

Brandysnapper · 15/04/2015 18:49

Oh, I have a half tiled wall with paint above and use the shower every day. Paint is fine.

ChaosTrulyReigns · 15/04/2015 18:49

Tell me more, Salmo, darkling. Does this happen frequently? Haven't sent a range frotherer fir eons.

lurkerspeaks · 15/04/2015 18:50

I would not want to use a shower like the one you describe in the family bathroom and would be surprised if people didn't offer the use of their ensuite.

It isn't really a shower is it?

I can't say I've ever had this issue but the shower in my "main" bathroom despite being over the bath is a proper one you can stand up underneath.

Original poster

MidnightSun77 · 15/04/2015 18:54

Owlina, TBH I prefer using the shower-over-bath in family bathroom, partly because I got into habit of using it on work mornings (so as not to wake DH up using en-suite shower at 6am), partly because family bathroom is bigger, warmer and has spa-like feel. En-suite is tiny and I don't always feel like standing to wash hair. I tend to part-fill bath, soak for 5 mins, then soap up and rinse off with shower. So for me its just as quick as using en-suite shower, though I appreciate people get used to different things and some might not like this.

OP posts:

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