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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave children alone in cinema?

82 replies

loveandsmiles · 15/04/2015 15:51

In Scotland so second week of Easter hols here. Have 5DC from 13-2years age range and sometimes find it difficult to find an activity / day out, they will all enjoy. Anyway, today, oldest DC (13,10,7) wanted to go to cinema but I knew younger 2 wouldn't sit still for the whole film (5,2). Decided I would drop older 3 at cinema - took them in, paid for tickets, even checked with lady on till it was OK for them to go into the movie without me - then took youngest 2 to soft play which is in the same leisure park as the cinema although not the same building. My eldest has her mobile so was to phone me when the movie had finished and wait in foyer until I collect them.

So, everyone seemed happy with this. I am in soft play and youngest 2 off playing when a mum I recognise from school sits down beside me. We chat about hols and she asks where my other DCs are. I say they are in the cinema and she asks if they are with DH. I say no, he is at work, they are on their own and she is horrified and can't believe I would do this.

OMG have I done something dreadful and AIBU? I think I am quite an over protective parent but felt OK with this thinking all DCs happy and I am near by to older ones who are able to contact me.

Couldn't wait to get back to cinema after this chat thinking AIBU. Fortunately DC waiting in foyer having enjoyed the movie and the experience of being 'grown up' and there on their ownSmile, so think I would do this again but would any of you Mumsnetters??

OP posts:
WhoNickedMyName · 15/04/2015 15:54

YANBU.

although fwiw I'd have quite happily left my DS at the cinema at age 7, my nephew would be a different kettle of fish and leaving him without an adult just wouldn't have been possible.

reni1 · 15/04/2015 15:55

I'd have done it, 7yo alone would depend on the individual child, but with the big ones there no problem.

Givenotake · 15/04/2015 15:56

YANBU totally depends on your opinion of your children, whether they are mature enough etc.

iseenodust · 15/04/2015 15:58

If your 13yr old has a responsible attitude then YANBU. I wouldn't leave 10 & 7 yr olds just the two of them though however seemingly responsible.

ShaynePunim · 15/04/2015 15:58

I wouldn't leave a 7 yo on his or her own but under the supervision of your 10 y-o it's absolutely fine, as long as you trust your eldest and she or he is sensible and responsible.

Tanaqui · 15/04/2015 15:59

You are fine! 13 old enough to be in charge if any need for loo trips or anything anyway!

Hakluyt · 15/04/2015 15:59

Of course. If I had NT 13, 10 and 7 year olds who couldn't go alone to a film together I would be seriously questioning my parenting!

AugustaGloop · 15/04/2015 16:00

I have 10 and 11 yo. Would be happy to do this, although have not in fact done it yet.

WorraLiberty · 15/04/2015 16:00

Was she really horrified though?

If so, she really needs to get out more.

Maybe you could suggest a trip to the cinema Grin

Original poster
loveandsmiles · 15/04/2015 16:00

Oh thank you - I was starting to doubt my judgement! I wouldn't have left my 7 year old alone but 13 year old is very sensible so trusted her to look after her. She said she sat ever so quietly and didn't utter a word (after my warning that they must be very good or wouldn't get out alone again!!)

OP posts:
prepperpig · 15/04/2015 16:01

There is no way I'd leave my 10 year old and 7 year old alone but perhaps with a 13 year old to supervise. I don't have a lot of experience of 13 year olds so struggling to think how mature they are.

showtunesgirl · 15/04/2015 16:03

A responsible 13 year old should be fine to supervise two younger ones.

WorraLiberty · 15/04/2015 16:03

They're honestly all individual prepperpig

Some 13yr olds I would leave in charge in a heartbeat

Others I wouldn't trust to look after my dog Grin

houseofnerds · 15/04/2015 16:03

Am guessing friends only has very small children and will do exactly the same when hers are 13. Or that she has weird ideas about giving children independence safely.

Of course I would do this. My children are not stupid. They are more than capable of watching a film, toileting, and buying snacks.

KoalaDownUnder · 15/04/2015 16:04

I don't think that's a big deal at all!

Any average 13-year-old would know how to handle 99% of situations that might arise. And they even had a mobile with them for emergencies, to call their mum, who was in the same complex!

MadameJulienBaptiste · 15/04/2015 16:04

Yanbu. I am fed up having to pay adult price for one of us to just supervise the kids in the cinema.
I took ds1 and his friends to yet another tedious hunger games film for his birthday and said next yr when he's 11 ill just drop them at the ticket desk.

MNpostingbot · 15/04/2015 16:04

Yeah will all be ok I reckon OP.

Was part of a large stepfamily and trips to cinema were impossible to see one film that ages 45,40, 18 15 13 10 and 8 would all enjoy. 13,10 and 8 yo routinely went to one film whilst others went elsewhere, never had a problem and that 13 yo (me) wasn't the most responsible of the three!

houseofnerds · 15/04/2015 16:05

My then 13yo was often left with her 9yo disabled sister. Even in public places Grin Your friend would have had a field day with that. Both are still alive and everything.

squoosh · 15/04/2015 16:07

Seems perfectly fine to me.

Original poster
loveandsmiles · 15/04/2015 16:08

worra lol

Yes, she looked shocked and kept saying she couldn't believe they were at cinema alone and what if something happened to them? I don't really know what awful thing could have befallen them but she said there are a lot of strange people about. I told DC that if they needed an adult to speak to someone that worked in cinema and obviously not to speak to strangers and of course phone me - 5 mins away.

OP posts:
TendonQueen · 15/04/2015 16:10

Given the presence of a 13yo who is trustworthy I don't see this as a problem.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/04/2015 16:13

YANBU OP - trust your judgement

Original poster
loveandsmiles · 15/04/2015 16:14

madam I too hate paying adult prices to watch films I have no interest in - delighted when 13 year old DD offered to be responsible for younger 2Grin - going to be her job from now on!!

Other mum has a 13 year old son who is at school with my DD - maybe different levels of maturity - I have to say I wouldn't let 10 year old DS supervise younger DC as he is immature and a bit silly sometimes, although I hope this will have improved by the time he is 13!

OP posts:
McButtonwillow · 15/04/2015 16:16

YANBU your plan makes complete sense to me and you were close by and in mobile contact if needed.

ilovesooty · 15/04/2015 16:16

I think I'd have asked her what dreadful thing she thought was going to happen to them.