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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave children alone in cinema?

82 replies

loveandsmiles · 15/04/2015 15:51

In Scotland so second week of Easter hols here. Have 5DC from 13-2years age range and sometimes find it difficult to find an activity / day out, they will all enjoy. Anyway, today, oldest DC (13,10,7) wanted to go to cinema but I knew younger 2 wouldn't sit still for the whole film (5,2). Decided I would drop older 3 at cinema - took them in, paid for tickets, even checked with lady on till it was OK for them to go into the movie without me - then took youngest 2 to soft play which is in the same leisure park as the cinema although not the same building. My eldest has her mobile so was to phone me when the movie had finished and wait in foyer until I collect them.

So, everyone seemed happy with this. I am in soft play and youngest 2 off playing when a mum I recognise from school sits down beside me. We chat about hols and she asks where my other DCs are. I say they are in the cinema and she asks if they are with DH. I say no, he is at work, they are on their own and she is horrified and can't believe I would do this.

OMG have I done something dreadful and AIBU? I think I am quite an over protective parent but felt OK with this thinking all DCs happy and I am near by to older ones who are able to contact me.

Couldn't wait to get back to cinema after this chat thinking AIBU. Fortunately DC waiting in foyer having enjoyed the movie and the experience of being 'grown up' and there on their ownSmile, so think I would do this again but would any of you Mumsnetters??

OP posts:
morethanpotatoprints · 15/04/2015 16:22

YANBU and you know your children.
I wouldn't have done it for several reasons mainly you don't know how your kids act when you aren't there. I wouldn't want them ruining somebody else's film and many kids do when left without parent.
I wouldn't want my oldest to have to be responsible for younger ones as my dsis had to do this and bitterly resented it in adult life.

cleanmyhouse · 15/04/2015 16:56

my 2 were going on their own at about 8 and 9. Other than the fact that they could muck about and get into trouble, i don't see the problem.

Littlemonstersrule · 15/04/2015 16:56

I'd have left the 13 year old but not the other two. It's unfair to expect the older one to be responsible and 7 years is too young to be left alone without an adult. Yes the risks may be minimal but choking on a sweet, wandering outside after going to the toilet etc could all happen.

lemonyone · 15/04/2015 17:02

Absolutely fine! in the country where I live, DCs can be babysitters officially at age 12.
Perhaps you could find a good babysitting first aid course for the older kids so that you know that they will be well equipped for any problems?

Jeez - I used to go to the Saturday morning cinema club with siblings 8,7 and 3 by ourselves!

Pyjamaramadrama · 15/04/2015 17:03

I think it's absolutely fine.

I wouldn't necessarily pack them all off on the bus but as you were closeby and the eldest had a phone I think it's fine.

The 13 year old would hardly have had much looking after to do as they would have been sat down watching the film.

wigglesrock · 15/04/2015 17:04

I would yes, my 9 year old has been to the cinema with 2 friends - while I went for lunch with one of the girls parents. She's also been swimming with her friends - she has a mobile. I also have a 7 year old and although I haven't yet I'd leave her in the cinema with her sister.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 15/04/2015 17:08

A 7 year old is at risk of choking on a sweet or wandering outside?

Really?

I must be a shocking parent, I used to do this all the time.
Thankfully my youngest is now 11 and can go to the cinema with his friends.

lemonyone · 15/04/2015 17:10

Also, I really resent having the weight of having to 'parent' to the standards of the most nervous parents out there. Because what is happening is that the nervous parenting becomes the norm, and those of us who would happily consider leaving our children in the park for an hour, or bike in the streets etc are left looking a neglectful and borderline criminal!

I think a bit of controlled independence is a very good thing. My poor DCs are allowed some independence but it's a fraction of what I was allowed to do at their age. Some of their friends are a bit like battery hen- not allowed out of their cages at all.

Hakluyt · 15/04/2015 17:12

Unfair to expect a 13 year old to be responsible for their siblings for less than 2 hours in a contained environment? Bloody hell, we are raising some wet lettuces between us, aren't we?

Maryz · 15/04/2015 17:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

piggychops · 15/04/2015 17:14

I think it's fine OP. It's all part of gradually lengthening the apron strings and putting them on a path to independence. Not easy at times, and there will always be someone more cautious than you.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 15/04/2015 17:15

That'll be the kids club MaryZ

Round here its a 45-60 minute film for £2.
Drop at cinema, go next door to Krispy Kreme, happy days

squoosh · 15/04/2015 17:15

Because what is happening is that the nervous parenting becomes the norm

Yes. It seems to be.

Maryz · 15/04/2015 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DelphiniumBlue · 15/04/2015 17:19

YANBU. If a 13 year old can't look after their own siblings in a cinema, then the world is a very sad place.
When I was a child, I can remember insisting that my Mum stayed with us when we went to Saturday morning pictures for the first time. We were the only children there with a parent with us. I was about 7 , btw. After that, we went alone ( me and 5 year old brother.)

TantrumsAndBalloons · 15/04/2015 17:20

It does.
I was greeted with looks of absolute horror when ds2 started riding his bike to school...alone...aged 10

People kept saying "aren't you worried something might happen?"

Well yes of course. The same way I worry something might happen to the other 2 aged 16 and 17.

What am I supposed to do- never let them out of site until they are 45?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 15/04/2015 17:20

*sight

KoalaDownUnder · 15/04/2015 17:21

LittleMonsters, in the extremely unlikely event that the 7-year-old starts choking on a sweet, I'm sure a 13-year-old can figure out what to do!

They're sitting in a darkened room for 2 hours with a phone, not trekking a deserted mountain range. Confused

VictoriaPeckem · 15/04/2015 17:29

I've been doing this with DD and her friend since they were 8. I make sure they go to the loo, have mobile, supply popcorn and sneak in drinks then I toddle off for a coffee or some shopping rather than sit through a tedious film. Although I made an exception for Cinderella which was fab!

mumeeee · 15/04/2015 17:35

YANBU your 13 year old sounds sensible. I was a fairly strict Mum but at 13 my DDs were going into town by themselves and DD1;would have supervised her younger sisters at a cinema m

Mehitabel6 · 15/04/2015 17:40

I did the same- a sensible solution.
Smile, nod and ignore.

TheRealMaryMillington · 15/04/2015 17:40

My 10 year old goes to the (local) cinema with his mates who are 9 & 10. Zero issue.

I have been trying to persuade him to go with his sister (aged 8) because I do not need to sit through Spongebob but she isn't confident yet. I think she will be soon.

5madthings · 15/04/2015 17:43

Yanbu, I also have five of similar ages and do the same thing.

They do know if they misbehave their will be big trouble and the cinema is a big treat that they don't want to miss out on so they do behave.

RufusTheReindeer · 15/04/2015 17:44

YANBU assuming the 13 year old is a sensible child and only you know that

Smile
zazzie · 15/04/2015 17:54

I think a child may have to be 8 before they allowed in a cinema without an adult.

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