Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave children alone in cinema?

82 replies

loveandsmiles · 15/04/2015 15:51

In Scotland so second week of Easter hols here. Have 5DC from 13-2years age range and sometimes find it difficult to find an activity / day out, they will all enjoy. Anyway, today, oldest DC (13,10,7) wanted to go to cinema but I knew younger 2 wouldn't sit still for the whole film (5,2). Decided I would drop older 3 at cinema - took them in, paid for tickets, even checked with lady on till it was OK for them to go into the movie without me - then took youngest 2 to soft play which is in the same leisure park as the cinema although not the same building. My eldest has her mobile so was to phone me when the movie had finished and wait in foyer until I collect them.

So, everyone seemed happy with this. I am in soft play and youngest 2 off playing when a mum I recognise from school sits down beside me. We chat about hols and she asks where my other DCs are. I say they are in the cinema and she asks if they are with DH. I say no, he is at work, they are on their own and she is horrified and can't believe I would do this.

OMG have I done something dreadful and AIBU? I think I am quite an over protective parent but felt OK with this thinking all DCs happy and I am near by to older ones who are able to contact me.

Couldn't wait to get back to cinema after this chat thinking AIBU. Fortunately DC waiting in foyer having enjoyed the movie and the experience of being 'grown up' and there on their ownSmile, so think I would do this again but would any of you Mumsnetters??

OP posts:
Frikadellen · 15/04/2015 17:59

I would assume that your friend only has small ones since you met in a soft play?

I find that leap between smaller kids and older can be very hard to grasp and they simply hear " left alone" not

a 13 year old a 10 year old both with their 7 year old sibling.

dd1 is now 17 and when she was 11 I would not routinely leave her alone for long periods of time. dd3 however at age 11 is alone 2-3 mornings a week for 1hour waiting for her lift to school. She is sensible enough to manage this.

I am a more experienced less fussy mother too.

at 13/11 9 I have sent my eldest 3 to see a film together whilst I took dd3 to see something different.

Once we went with a friend of ds and film were split like this

dd2 and 3 went to see one film together age 9 and 13
ds and friend went to see a film together age 11
and dd1 and I went to see a film together.

Worked perfectly well

YANBU but have a bit of sympathy for your friend who will be in for a rude awakening in a few years.

base9 · 15/04/2015 18:05

Of course yanbu! That woman is a loon. How old does she think they need to be before they can sit quietly in a cinema for an hour and a half on their own???

funkyfoam · 15/04/2015 18:17

My dad was working at 14 . I walked a mile to school on my own at 5. My children took themselves down to the local swimming pool at 10 and 8, had a swim and walked safely home again every Saturday morning. (That's only 12 years ago)
As someone said we see dangers in everything now and whilst we all want to keep children safe it is reaching such levels of stupidity that we are doing our children a huge dis-service. Some seem to have no preparation for the real world at all. If a 13, 10 and 7 year old can't be left in a cinema they have been taken too and will be collected from it's sad!

chrome100 · 15/04/2015 18:25

I'd do it, and I think it's be fine with just the ten and seven year old as well. They are just sitting in a dark room. Nothing can happen.

TwoOddSocks · 15/04/2015 18:28

I was about to say YABVU when I saw your youngest was 2 but reading that the younger two weren't left then YANBU. A responsible 13 year old should be able to handle a responsible 7 year old no problem and the 10 year old can look after themselves.

DontWorryBeHappyNow · 15/04/2015 18:31

YANBU! We've done it with our two (10 and 8), DH and I going for a stroll and a coffee instead of sitting through a movie we had no interest in. FGS, by 11 most children are supposed to travel to and from school by themselves - what's the point of totally babying them until then???

fredfredsausagehead1 · 15/04/2015 18:33

Of course you're not being unreasonable

binspin · 15/04/2015 18:40

Atleast you knew that the younger ones wouldn't sit through it and torture everyone else with your bored children.

Can you tell that I recently had a fun cinema visit?

fredfredsausagehead1 · 15/04/2015 18:49

Of course you're not being unreasonable

oddfodd · 15/04/2015 18:53

Just to demonstrate you're not remotely cavalier OP, I can get into cinemas for free now DS is 8 because he's disabled. So the assumption by cinemas is that NT children of 8 and over are perfectly able to go to the cinema without needing adult supervision.

And ROFL at choking on a sweet

Original poster
loveandsmiles · 15/04/2015 21:16

Thanks for all the replies - on the whole I think my decision was okSmile. As soon as DH got home from work they couldn't wait to tell him they had been at the cinema alone. DD age 7 said she didn't speak or move for the entire film - I must have been a bit terrifying with my rules beforehand - don't make a noise, don't bang the seat in front etc - good to know she listens sometimes!

I am a bit surprised that some people think I am asking a lot of my 13 year old DD - I think siblings should help each other out and it was her that suggested she take them - I think she enjoyed being 'in charge' rather than me being there - good to have some responsibility I think......

OP posts:
rebelfor · 15/04/2015 21:22

Not U at all, I used to take my younger sisters on a bus to our local cinema and back home again at that age and enjoyed the responsibility.

bananayellow · 15/04/2015 21:25

Yanbu

Mistigri · 15/04/2015 21:38

Parents of young children often don't realise how quickly they grow up once they get into double figures. My 13 year old is practically a young adult.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/04/2015 22:31

I remember the first time I left my DC2 alone at home for 5 minutes. When I came back she said "mom I went to bed because I knew I couldn't get into trouble there!" Grin

OrlandoWoolf · 15/04/2015 22:33

I remember going to the cinema every Saturday when 7. Mum and dad would shop and we would watch Children's Film Foundation films and throw sweets.

Still, that was the 1970s.

Bambambini · 15/04/2015 23:03

I've done it with my 12 yr old and his friend and in another screen my 9 yr old and his friend.

Saying that my mum tells us how in the 40's and 50's when she and the other kids went to the cinema, it wasn't unusual for starnge men to sit beside kids and give them sweets to wank them off etc. Just saying and we don't have usherettes in he theatre these days with their flash lights.

Patsyandeddie · 15/04/2015 23:14

If a 13 year old can't look after his/her younger siblings in a cinema I would seriously question my parenting, ridiculous, YANBU!

Norfolkandchance1234 · 15/04/2015 23:30

When I was 8 I was left alone in the cinema to watch a puppet kids film which scared the crap out of me. I was to scared to even think of leaving and not watch it and never thought to tell my parents how scared I was so they never knew. I was never left alone in a cinema again but it was not a happy memory.

Norfolkandchance1234 · 15/04/2015 23:34

And yanbu

And I can't wait for the day I can send mine to the cinema alone

Norfolkandchance1234 · 15/04/2015 23:34

Despite my experience

Hakluyt · 15/04/2015 23:35

Norfolk- in the circumstances described by the OP you would have been looked after and consoled by your older sibling. So it would have been OK.

Fleecyleesy · 15/04/2015 23:45

I think I'd be ok with a mature 13yo looking after a 10yo of the same gender. The 7yo - no, I would definitely not be ok with this, I have a 7yo.

I'd only be ok with the 13yo and 10yo being the same gender so that if a toilet trip was needed, they could go together. I'd have instructed the pair of them not to separate at any time for any reason.

Do your 7yo and 10yo not fight/mess around etc? My 7yo and 9yo are very silly together! I could not consider letting them anywhere under the supervision of a 13yo.

Hakluyt · 15/04/2015 23:55

"I'd only be ok with the 13yo and 10yo being the same gender so that if a toilet trip was needed, they could go together. I'd have instructed the pair of them not to separate at any time for any reason."

Why?

NobodyLivesHere · 16/04/2015 04:55

I often leave my three 11, 10 and 7 alone in the cinema and 'go to the toilet'. For an hour. BlushGrinbecause kids crap films do my head in. I think its fine.