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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What my daughter has eaten so far this week at school...

103 replies

GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 15:46

I have been off this week. Usually dd has lunch at school and goes to her dad's or mil's and eats there - before I pick her up after work.

But this week I am on AL so I have been asking her what she eats for lunch, so I can gauge what to cook for tea. She is also now 4, so at the age where she can remember and tell me reasonably accurately.

Monday: pizza, tinned spaghetti and bread and butter.
Tuesday: cheese sandwich with nothing else
Today: pasta and cheese. With no sauce.

This is an independent preschool and admittedly lunches only cost a pound a day, but they are compulsory.

She is a vegetarian. I asked what the other children had today, she said cottage pie and vegetables. She wasn't offered anyveg.

I do remember them once mentioning that she didn't eat her veggie sausages once so they gave her a sandwich instead. She likes veggie sausages, she eats them at home. I didn't realise this has become a regular occurrence. She is not a fussy eater. I am not normally too precious about this sort of thing, but if she is telling the truth (she is articulate and generally honest), this is a bit ridiculous no? I am also more aware of giving her a healthy diet ATM, as she is getting a little chunky, and whilst her weight is still normal, she is on the 83rd centile so I want her diet

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 15:47

To be as healthy as possible. I also think that if all the other children are getting proper meals - a cheese sandwich on white bread is not a viable alternative.

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 15:48

They also do a breakfast club where all the children are offered coco pops and/or white toast with butter. I took I a jar of marmite as she doesn't like plain toast and they don't offer anything else.

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reni1 · 15/04/2015 15:51

Can you try and find other parents with vegetarian children, she is probably not the only one and then take it to the school? I would also try and verify with the school, at 4 her recall might not be completely reliable, maybe the dinner ladies can keep an eye out for her.

StayGoldPonyBoy · 15/04/2015 15:52

If you don't like the menu can you move her? Some places just don't care. It is ridiculous but they're on a budget and probably bulk buy the stuff in for the other kids so don't have spare food lying around for her. Crappy if they know her dietary requirements and don't cater to them properly.

Egog · 15/04/2015 15:52

I think it might be worth you emailing to enquire about veggie options, just in case they're being offered and your daughter isn't choosing them.

More likely, it'll highlight to the school that they need to pull their fingers out and provide a better option!

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 15:56

Did likes veg, and it seems when the meat-eaters have a meat main, they don't even offer her some veg!

She always has pasta with tomato based sauce and cheese at home, and when I asked her if she had sauce with her pasta, she said no, because the school don't have it. She said " it was just pasta and grated cheese mum" so said it explicitly and I believe her. Who eats pasta with just grated cheese?!

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 15:58

I can't move her really, no, the childminder we use only does drop offs here. They are generally very good, apart from the food issue. Tbh this is not the first time she has told me similar, so what she is saying is consistent. And now she is at the age where she really can describe things accurately, previously I put it down to poor recall/even fib telling.

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 16:01

She has been going there for nearly 2 years, and has been a vegetarian the whole time. The fees for this term are over £1000 on top of her free 15 hours. So I don't think it is unreasonable to cater for her at lunchtime.

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ChampagneTastes · 15/04/2015 16:05

Nope, that's shocking. I had similar issues with nursery but to be fair to them, when I tackled them they almost immediately changed the menu. It definitely needs raising in a fairly forceful manner.

shewept · 15/04/2015 16:10

Yanbu to speak to them. Yabu to assume a 4 year old has all the details correct. Ds, also 4, often tells me he has eaten something at mums and its not quite right. The other day he had 'old potato soup' it was a beef stew with potatoes in it. No idea where old bit came from.

DD (now 11) was very articulate at that age, but still got stuff wrong. There is nothing wrong with enquiring about it and then speaking to them if you aren't happy. But don't go in with the assumption that dd is 100% correct.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 16:11

Another thing - she has a few grey hairs on her head - her dad googled and said it can be due to deficiencies in diet such as protein or b12. I thought this was very unlikely as she eats a good variety of foods with me, and she is a good weight, lots of energy etc, but I am now beginning to wonder...

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shewept · 15/04/2015 16:14

I would be very surprised they didn't offer veg since everyone else had it.

I remember mum telling me she helped out a dbros school a few times when he first started. They were giving out the morning milk and mum was handed a glass of juice (by the teacher) for dbro 'as he doesn't like milk', it was the first mum had heard. He drank loads of milk at home, for some reason that she never got to the bottom of he had told his teacher he didn't like it. Sometimes kids do surprising things.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 16:18

I have heard the cheese sandwich story before though. I asked if she had any veg or salad with it, and she said no, because the vegetables only get given to the children who have cottage pie

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 16:19

I think they are just very unimaginative when it comes to vegetarian food - but I am going to have a word! Smile

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reni1 · 15/04/2015 16:22

Many children will happily eat vegetables if they are on their plates but if given the choice won't have them put there. Maybe ask the school to put them on. Or else adjust home diet, ie even more veg and remove starchy stuff mostly so that over the day she gets what she needs.

ragged · 15/04/2015 16:23

2 of my DSs have poliosis which means patches of white hair (Milliband brothers have it too). It's hereditary but no one else in our families has it, DS1 didn't develop his until age 10 or 11.

I don't see why school can't offer her veg so I would raise that if you know plenty of veg are available & she'll say yes and eat them if offered. I wouldn't be unhappy with those lunches otherwise.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 16:27

Yes I agree she should just get what she is given. If you asked her what she wants for lunch every day, she will say "a cheese sandwich please". This does not mean she shouldn't be offered, or won't eat, anything else.

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 16:32

Thing is Reni - I am on a budget too so rely a little on starchy staples too, but always throw in some form of protein even if it is only pulses and frozen veg. I don't think it is unreasonable to expect most of her meals to have a bit of "balance" especially as she has two meals a day there, 4 days a week.

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Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 16:33

Anyway I will update when I have spoken to them tomorrow. Either dd is widely off the mark, or the meals really are that bad!

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TaliZorahVasNormandy · 15/04/2015 16:35

That's pretty poor. At my DD's school, they other a meat or a veg option hot dinner or they can pick a cold option. They can have whatever they fancy with any combination.

reni1 · 15/04/2015 16:35

I can see that's hard. Before talking to the school I'd try and "gang up" with other veggie parents if you can so they can't turn around and say it is not possible to do much for just one child.

cleanmyhouse · 15/04/2015 16:43

I'd phone/email your concerns. I did with afterschool club and said if it was a big issue, i'd send packed snacks with them to have at club. They declined and it was never an issue again.

Floggingmolly · 15/04/2015 16:51

If she's so deficient in vitamin b12 as to cause her hair to turn grey, it cannot possibly be caused solely by the pre school lunches Confused

Orangeanddemons · 15/04/2015 16:55

My dd's school always do a really good veggie option. Veg chilli, Quorn sausages, veggie bolognisr, veggie pizzas/ tarts. And it not even a private school

workadurka · 15/04/2015 17:00

At private school aged 11 I was regularly served spaghetti with grated cheese as the veggie option... Things should have moved on since then but appears they haven't!