What my daughter has eaten so far this week at school...

[GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe]

I have been off this week. Usually dd has lunch at school and goes to her dad's or mil's and eats there - before I pick her up after work.

But this week I am on AL so I have been asking her what she eats for lunch, so I can gauge what to cook for tea. She is also now 4, so at the age where she can remember and tell me reasonably accurately.

Monday: pizza, tinned spaghetti and bread and butter.
Tuesday: cheese sandwich with nothing else
Today: pasta and cheese. With no sauce.

This is an independent preschool and admittedly lunches only cost a pound a day, but they are compulsory.

She is a vegetarian. I asked what the other children had today, she said cottage pie and vegetables. She wasn't offered anyveg.

I do remember them once mentioning that she didn't eat her veggie sausages once so they gave her a sandwich instead. She likes veggie sausages, she eats them at home. I didn't realise this has become a regular occurrence. She is not a fussy eater. I am not normally too precious about this sort of thing, but if she is telling the truth (she is articulate and generally honest), this is a bit ridiculous no? I am also more aware of giving her a healthy diet ATM, as she is getting a little chunky, and whilst her weight is still normal, she is on the 83rd centile so I want her diet

Are you sure it isn't something like her being offered "carrots and broccoli ", and because she doesn't eat broccoli she says no (or yuck!) so doesn't get given either, even though she would eat carrots?

No she says it is the "mixed up vegetables" like we have at home sometimes (frozen mixed veg).

She really likes it at home - and always eats it first off her plate.

I always thought marmite was meaty

Perhaps i am thinking of bovril

No marmite is very much vegetarian!

Isnt Marmite what the Aussies call Vegemite?

Marmite and vegemite taste quite different - Marmite is a lot sweeter - but they are both vegetarian.

Ahhh, if Marmite is sweeter, I dread to think what Vegemite tastes like.

I thought that, Floggingmolly.

If you genuinely think she's deficient in protein and b12 and you're understandably reluctant to have meat in the house, I cannit for the world see why you wouldn't let her eat protein and b12-rich meat based meals in nursery

Just about to say same as welshmeanad
I just wouldn't restrict a 4 year olds diet in this way, especially if she is showing signs of vitamin deficiency

Well every day is a learning day! Sorry!

Could there be a compromise whereby dd eats the school 'main' or attempts some of it but could also eat a home made fruit salad, fruity flapjacks etc.

You think primary school food is bad, wait til you see secondary (although she can always have packed lunch by then)

Um, because she is aware she is a vegetarian, doesn't want to eat meat, (I have asked her), and there is absolutely no reason a vegetarian diet can't provide all she needs. However if she is lazily fed nothing but cheap carbs (vegetarian or not) then there may be issues...

And I don't actually think she is deficient in anything, I think this is incredibly unlikely, however having now got some evidence she has a pretty crap diet at preschool, so it made me wonder.

Trust the vegetarian bashers to come out - I am not the one feeding her dry white pasta with grated cheese

But if you're claiming she is deficient in nutrients, she's NOT being provided with all she needs. And I'm aware you raised it in an attempt to bolster your argument against the nursery, but kids don't become nutrient deficient just because lunch (up to 5 days out of seven only) is a bit substandard - so if you're right and she is deficient in nutrients to the extent that it's affecting the pigmentation of her hair, it's because she's not getting a decent amount of those nutrients at home, either. In which case the obvious remedy would be for her to eat meat outside the home, so your home stats meat free and she DOES start getting those nutrients.

Also, I was vegetarian for ten years, so I'm hardly a basher.

A vegetarian diet is hardly that radical - this isn't the 1950s.

Or - radical idea here - the institution that I pay good money to to take care of and feed my daughter for breakfast and lunch 4 days a week, could provide a reasonably balanced meal?

She eats a very good varied diet with me, and as I have already said, i don't believe she is deficient in anything.

So why bring it up?

I am not going to force my child to eat meat when she doesn't want to when there are plenty of cheap healthy vegetarian foods - including vegetables ffs - that the school should be perfectly capable of providing. And are in fact providing for the other children

Do they give you a copy of the menu? If not I'd ask for one. I know exactly what my DC have for lunch each day.

As I said, it got me thinking, I had totally dismissed the idea before because I KNOW the food she eats with me is varied, but then I found out how shit the nursery food was. It made me more aware of what she was eating elsewhere.

So you would be happy I presume, if that was fed to your child?

No they do not provide a copy of the menu.

And usually I do not drop her off or collect her, so I have no opportunity to ask. The childminder and exp never think to ask.

My 4 year old is at full time school nursery. They get no choice - it's plated for them (and any suggestion that they pour gravy or custard only for children that say they want it - means much of DD's food goes wasted every day. I'm nearing the point of refusing to allow her to have school dinners - which cost £12 a week - the standard is so appalling. It seems to be starch and beans/a spoonful of frozen veg every day. Shocking.

Can I ask something? You say she is 'aware' she is vegetarian. Did she choose to be vegi or did you just start her on a vegi diet and so she is used to not eating meat and would know to turn it down when offered? I would think that 4 is quite young to really know the implications of being vegi. It might be worth speaking to your gp or heath visitor, particularly if you suspect a deficiency. Would you, e.g. object if she ate meat at school and was vegi at home?
However I do agree that those meals don't sound in any way satisfactory and I would raise it with the school, especially as you're paying for them.