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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What my daughter has eaten so far this week at school...

103 replies

GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 15:46

I have been off this week. Usually dd has lunch at school and goes to her dad's or mil's and eats there - before I pick her up after work.

But this week I am on AL so I have been asking her what she eats for lunch, so I can gauge what to cook for tea. She is also now 4, so at the age where she can remember and tell me reasonably accurately.

Monday: pizza, tinned spaghetti and bread and butter.
Tuesday: cheese sandwich with nothing else
Today: pasta and cheese. With no sauce.

This is an independent preschool and admittedly lunches only cost a pound a day, but they are compulsory.

She is a vegetarian. I asked what the other children had today, she said cottage pie and vegetables. She wasn't offered anyveg.

I do remember them once mentioning that she didn't eat her veggie sausages once so they gave her a sandwich instead. She likes veggie sausages, she eats them at home. I didn't realise this has become a regular occurrence. She is not a fussy eater. I am not normally too precious about this sort of thing, but if she is telling the truth (she is articulate and generally honest), this is a bit ridiculous no? I am also more aware of giving her a healthy diet ATM, as she is getting a little chunky, and whilst her weight is still normal, she is on the 83rd centile so I want her diet

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 15/04/2015 19:05

I've been veggie for 26 years. Most of my meals in the nineties and naughtiest were jacket potato or plain pasta with grated cheese. Blush

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:05

As I mentioned before breakfast is crap too - white toast and coco pops. Every day. Never known an alternative to be offered. She had never even tried coco pops before she went. At home she has porridge or brown toast with marmite, peanut butter eggs etc, or fruit and yogurt.

OP posts:
Welshmaenad · 15/04/2015 19:07

It sounds to me like there's a precedent for them attempting to cater properly and her refusing the food so they're probably just trying to give her something she will eat.

My ds did a year of nursery school lunches and would eat things at home that he refused at school. That was when I could elicit information beyond 'I cant remember'.

Phoenix0x0 · 15/04/2015 19:08

My Dd is the same age as your daughter. Her nursery although not independent, realeases a four weekly menu every quarter. This has both a meat and a vegi option. The vegi options are for instance, vegi lasagna with salad, noodles with Vegi's, quice etc etc. Bascially, a very well rounded and balanced menu.

They should be informing you what will be served for lunch. If your daughter is correct in what she tells you, then I would write to the head and the board of governors and complain. I might even be inclined to inform OFSTED.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:10

I only ever fed her vegetarian food because it was what I cooked. The school asked when she enrolled if she had any dietary requirements. I said she was vegetarian. I never "told" her she was vegetarian, she come home from school calling herself one, so I guess they mention it a lot there. I have no objections to her eating meat if she wants to, but she is totally unfamiliar with meat, and I have asked her if she would like to try it a few times, but she has always declined. She eats fish because she likes it. But I do not.

OP posts:
oddfodd · 15/04/2015 19:11

So you think her diet is deficient and while you provide nearly 80% of her food, you're blaming the deficiency on the 20% which is provided by someone else. Right Confused

I agree that what she's eating doesn't sound brilliant but you (or your DH) can't blame any vitamin deficiency on her pre-school.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:12

I am a doctor myself, so I am almost certain she is displaying no other signs of a deficiency, but I do know enough about nutrition to know a balanced vegetarian diet is more than adequate to meet anyone's needs, but what she is being fed at nursery, if true, is not particularly healthy or imaginative.

OP posts:
Welshmaenad · 15/04/2015 19:13

You're a doctor, but your DH had to Google for potential causes of random grey hairs in children? Confused

CultureSucksDownWords · 15/04/2015 19:13

A vegetarian diet is absolutely fine for young children. It is not necessary to speak to a GP or HV about it and have any checks done.

I'm a bit surprised that people are questioning the fact that the OP and her daughter are vegetarian. I don't think it's helpful or relevant to do so.

The food provided by this school is awful. The breakfast choice sounds dire, and if your DD is accurate about what she's been given then the lunches are appalling.

I would query this very specifically with the school. Tell them to give your DD any accompanying vegetables, and also to give you a list of vegetarian options for the next week. Ask that they specifically make a note of what your DD is actually given, and whether it is her choice or theirs. If you're not happy, then ask for a meeting with them to discuss options. It's very bad that they can't summon up something half decent.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:14

I would have no objections to her eating meat at school, but she doesn't want to. I know because I just asked her. I am not a precious vegetarian, I cook meat for guests etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:16

Ok - if you removed the vegetarian issue - it is perfectly reasonable for meat eaters to eat pasta and pizza - would that menu be acceptable to serve a 4 year old at school? I.e no veg or sauce etc?

OP posts:
AwfulBeryl · 15/04/2015 19:16

If what she is saying is accurate then the food is pretty poor.
obviously they should be providing nutritious meals to everyone - even the vegetarians Shock Wink
My dts however, could not be trusted at that age to give me an accurate description of what they ate,they will be 5 in July and still don't - they had something orange for lunch today. Confused
Nurser should really be providing menus so you know what is available at lunch times,I thought that was pretty standard tbh.
I would email your concerns, or call and speak to someone.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:18

No - he googled because I told him it was nothing to worry about and he didn't believe me. He is my exp. I have explained a million times that I do not think it is a dietary deficiency but IT GOT ME THINKING Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:33

And fwiw if i wanted to know the causes of greying hair in children, i would ask one of my gastroenterologist, paediatrician, or dietitian colleagues, my specialty doesn't require me to know this. However my common sense and general medical training tells me that she is displaying none of the other signs I would consider consistent with a dietary deficiency, such as weight loss or fatigue.

OP posts:
IWillOnlyEatBeans · 15/04/2015 19:33

Could your DD have breakfast at the childminder's instead of at breakfast club?

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:38

She has to drop off dd for breakfast club, as she takes other children to a different primary school that has no nursery.

OP posts:
Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:40

I do not think my dd has a vitamin deficiency.

OP posts:
IWillOnlyEatBeans · 15/04/2015 19:42

Tricky.

I hope you get a positive response the school.

GameOfGroans · 15/04/2015 19:46

It sounds like a terrible menu, I wouldn't be happy with that at all. However, I just asked my articulate 4 year old what she had for lunch at nursery today and she told me she didn't have any! I had to push her further before she admitted she couldn't remember but may have been some sort of 'wet' chicken with no veg or potatoes.

Now I know for a fact that the food at her nursery is great as the menu is clearly displayed each week for all to see. I will check tomorrow what the 'wet' chicken was. Grin

Please check with them before you go in all guns blazing- there's always the chance she's got it wrong.

Original poster
GuiltyAsAGirlCanBe · 15/04/2015 19:51

I have no intention of going in all guns blazing, in fact i am embarrassed to say anything at all - as i know that vegetarians are regarded as somewhat of a nuisance. However i am going to ask for some clerification on what she actually has, as her occassional accounts have been pretty consistent. I will update...

OP posts:
oddfodd · 15/04/2015 19:53

Oh right. Sorry - I thought you did but I obviously didn't read your posts properly. IME when my DS has been fed at childcare establishments (except for CMs), you get a menu in advance. Could you ask for that? If they're expecting you to pay for the food, then they should let you know what's available so that you can at least steer your child towards what you'd prefer them to eat (if they have a choice on the day). If they won't do that, they should at least provide veg for the vegetarians!

As GameofGroans says though, I'd go in for a chat rather than all guns blazing. 4 year olds can be quite ... err ... imaginative when it comes to things like this and will quite often just say something, anything, to get off a subject that they find a bit dull.

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 15/04/2015 19:53

Oh and fwiw, my son is in reception. He has a friend who tells her mum that she has a ham wrap for lunch most days. However, this girl's grandma is the school cook! Apparently they only serve ham wraps once a month.

Also my articulate and honest DS once insisted he had pasta with gravy and clam tops for lunch. He didn't like it. I have no idea what he meant!

So children can get it wrong and be confused - but they can also get it right. I would definitely check it out with the school.

DisappointedOne · 15/04/2015 19:54

Daughter had play date with a nursery friend the other afternoon. Asked them both what they had had for lunch and got 2 completely different answers!

NorbertDentressangle · 15/04/2015 20:21

I agree that that's a very poor selection of vegetarian meals and I wouldn't be happy if that was being served to my DC especially at a fee paying school.

MY DCs don't have school lunches but we get to see the menus every half term -they are made elsewhere (as no kitchen in the school) and delivered daily by an independent company. As a vegetarian myself I'm always interested to see what the veggie option is and never thought it was brilliant TBH but, compared to what your DD is being offered, it's positively gourmet veggie cuisine!

I would go in and speak to them too about my concerns and also ask for weekly/termly menus.

Dancingqueen17 · 15/04/2015 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.