to not trust this 'helpful' stranger in the mountains?

[SummerOfLadybirds]

I've fallen out with a close friend and want to know who was BU.
We went camping in Lake District recently. We're experienced hikers so had all correct gear, provisions, torches, map, compass etc. We planned to stay in proper campsites as my friend hates wild camping. On 2nd day decided to leave marked routes as felt confident we could navigate. (The paths are too busy in good weather, we both wanted to hike in wilderness). At first it was fine, we went high up and didn't see anyone for hours. To cut a long story short we then lost the compass, got disorientated and got lost!! My friend started freaking out and worrying we'd have to camp in mountains if we couldn't find way down. I said that was fine, we had tent, food, clothes etc, we could set up camp and find way down in morning but she said she wanted a shower and a proper loo (and was scared of 'ghosts'!) I said its too dangerous to try and descend once its dark, she got in a massive strop.

Meanwhile for a couple of hours, despite seeing nobody all day, we'd both noticed a man in camouflage gear popping up in different places nearby. Once he was in front of us, once he was chilling by a rock, another time he was behind us. He didn't acknowledge us but he wasn't that close. We assumed he was just enjoying nature, going in same direction as us.

When the light began to fade, my friend got really scared and insisted we keep walking and suddenly we almost bumped into this man as we came around a boulder!! He said hi and asked where we were going, my friend started to blurt out we were lost, but I didn't want to seem vulnerable so I cut in and said 'we're not really lost' and made out she was joking. He was friendly but something didn't feel quite right and I felt we WERE vulnerable, 2 petite women and this guy (he was very tall and muscular, had a big army-style rucksack and just seemed a bit 'odd'). He offered to guide us down but I was worried he might lead us somewhere even more remote, so I told him thanks but we didn't need his help and was very assertive in not wanting to walk with him.
We carried on, I was freaked out now because of the man, and my friend was petrified of being on mountain in night and not speaking to me because i'd refused his help.
Anyway we did make it off the mountain (in the dark) and finally got to a campsite at 2am.

My friend is still furious that I wouldn't let this man help us. I still think he could have done anything to us, like leading us further off-route in the dark and raping us.

[SaggyAndLucy]

Are you not able to tell which direction you are walking in from the sun? Or the watch trick? Or have a rough idea of location from the topography of the nearby hills/peaks? Its seriously dim to have gone off the tracks if you cant!

[VivaLeBeaver]

Years ago when at uni some friends of mine got lost in similar circumstances in Scotland and tried to find their way down after it got dark. One walked off a cliff and fell 700ft.

[elastamum]

Far more likely that the man would have tried to chat you up than attack you. He probably saw you as too inexperienced damsels in distress who didn't know what they were doing, so he was hoping to rescue you and maybe try his luck that way.

Maybe stick to the paths in future.

[DinosAteMyFamily]

Were you in the western lakes and was he smoking endless rollies? If so it might have been a poacher I know (or one of a hundred other blokes that fit that description) and the worst that would have happened to you is he'd have spent the whole time guiding you back trying to flog you some meat at a very generous price.

[007JamesBond]

You should never, ever have gone off the track with only one compass. Losing it was unbelievably careless and amateur. Turns out you didn't have "all the gear". Mountain Rescue simply love risking their lives for experienced hikers who lose their only compass.

[AgentProvocateur]

You both sound a bit too pathetic to go out on the hills again, frankly b

[SoupDragon]

We're experienced hikers so had all correct gear

Surely experienced hikers have more than one compass. Or a compass plus GPS plus phone with external battery pack?

[007JamesBond]

All the gear and no idea, Soupy.

[HowDoesThatWork]

I think you were a bit U. You were offered help when you needed it and your friend wanted it, but you over-ruled her and turned down the offer of help.

You would have got down far quicker with help.

I walk and climb regularly in the mountains, have given and received help. I have never had experience of malicious behaviour when out in the hills.

OTOH, well done for getting yourself down and I agree with you that there was little to worry about in terms of being out in the dark given you had a tent on you back.

[Songlark]

I think you were right to be cautious, chances are he was harmless, I shouldn't imagine a would be rapist would be hanging round on mountains waiting for victims, he could even have been a murderer. It might sound daft and that you're over reacting but these things do happen. It's best to keep yourself safe.
.

[StaceyAndTracey]

I think you'll find that far more people die in accidents on the hills in the UK than are murdered on them by random strangers

[StaceyAndTracey]

www.thebmc.co.uk/how-dangerous-are-climbing-and-hill-walking

[Satsumafairy]

The statistics about it being more likely to be murdered or attacked by someone you know have very little relevance to you when stood in such a situation and faced by someone who you feel uneasy about. I bloody hate MN for this sort of attitude. Because it is rare it doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

Also there was a news story just last week of a man who murdered his partner whom he buried in a remote place frequented by walkers (in Scotland) but admitted he had been stalking the hills for months looking for lonely female walkers to attack instead.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

I think you were right to be cautious, chances are he was harmless, I shouldn't imagine a would be rapist would be hanging round on mountains waiting for victims, he could even have been a murderer. It might sound daft and that you're over reacting but these things do happen. It's best to keep yourself safe.

But is there any evidence to actually back up claims that these things happen? As in murders or serious sexual assaults by complete strangers in Mountainous areas? I'm pretty sure it almost never happens.

Compare that with people dying and being seriously injured while walking on the mountains through falls and getting stranded in bad weather. That happens year on year......

[Branleuse]

id have been pissed off with you

[StaceyAndTracey]

" the most common causes of incidents are poor navigation (23 per cent), bad planning (18 per cent) and inadequate equipment (11 per cent)......

“the prime causes of incidents in British hills are a failure to develop skill and experience in controlled conditions, failure to temper plans to suit the ability of the least able in a party and failure to have and know how to employ the proper equipment, particularly relating to map and compass.”

There does appear to have been a sharp increase in calls to MR teams of minor incidents (usually involving casual hill-walkers) that are ‘avoidable’ if people had planned better. For instance there are examples of people not having basic navigation and map reading skills, overestimating their abilities and getting 'cragfast', not taking account of changes in the weather and getting caught out by darkness"

Does this sound familiar ?

[Satsumafairy]

I don't think op was literally weighing up the likelyhood of being attacked she was instinctively wary of this person and wanted to get away. Maybe she was right, maybe she was wrong, none of us know but she is not an idiot for considering it.

[SolidGoldBrass]

The man was probably harmless, and it is quite likely that you kept seeing him because you were going round in circles... but I take your point about it feeling like he might have been following you. And sometimes reluctance to engage with a man you don't know is an instinct telling you he's dangerous. I can also appreciate that a friend who is scared of ghosts is probably too much of a fucking wimp to be much help should you have found yourself faced with a dangerous man.
I definitely agree with PP that the pair of you should not go hiking together again without either brushing up your skills or taking a few more geuninely competent hikers with you.

[StaceyAndTracey]

And of course the statistics are revelant to a proper risk assessment . These women had three options , with different risks attached to each

1. Walk around lost in the dark - risk of falling /injury
   
2. accept the help offered and risk that they might be attacked
   
3. Pitch their tent and wait for day break - the risk appears to be ghosts and lack of a WC
   

Their skewed perception of the relative risks led them to make perhaps the most dangerous choice of the three.

[hackmum]

You know what? It's impossible to tell if we weren't there. My inclination normally would have been to accept help from the man, and I think I'd have felt as irritated as your friend did by your refusal. On the other hand, if he did seem a bit weird or creepy, then you were right to stay away from him.

[BarbarianMum]

Not sure why he would need to lead you somewhere more remote to do you harm, it sounds like you were fairly remote anyway.

As far more people die of falls/exposure in the mountains than at the hands of lone killers I think YABU and I'm not surprised that your friend is pissed off with you.

[StaceyAndTracey]

I know two men who died hillwalking together . One fell and broke his leg , the other stayed with him . They both died of hypothermia . Left two wives and five kids :-(

They didn't have the right skills , knowldedge or equipment . And they didn't understand the risks . They were a relatively short walk from help in a busy area .

[Momagain1]

Your first mistake was going camping with someone so stupid and clueless and unwilling to be sensible.

ghost?
Inable to deal with not having a loo one night?

She sounds lie,mquite a weight to have been desling with all day. Find better camping friends.

[RedToothBrush]

Nicely put Stacey