AIBU? .....who is supposed to sit in the passenger seat!?

[jubilee69]

OK....my first MN post so please bear with....night out at family friends house with DH, teenage DS and DD in tow. DD was working so DH was driving and not drinking. Me=couple of wines he picks up DD, couple of hours socialising then home time. DD climbs in passenger seat. I asked to sit in, she not happy and not happy to move into back. Says she called 'shotgun'!!! AIBU?! Am 5 weeks off anti depressants and feeling super sensitive as it is. Had an hour of DH and SIL questioning/ discussing merits of me working pt whilst she 'manages to do everything so can't see why you can't ' type of conversation so wasn't feeling great as it was thank you MN xxxx

Oh and your SIL sounds like a bellend as well. Tell her to butt out and worry about her own life

debina how unbelievably petty to make someone move when they are already in the car. That's awful, totally different to if you were all getting in the car together.

Children/teenagers should defer to the back seats, if an adult is present or being collected.
Therefore your DD should have automatically gone to the back, when you are walking out to the car with them or being collected after them.

So when you approached the front passenger seat, and asked her to move, she really should have got out and moved to the back seats.

This also applies regardless of whether the adults own the car or not. I would not expect my adult friends, to travel in the rear of my car, while my DC sits in the front seat.

Parents in front. You are in charge, all part of the bigger picture.

Totally different in our house, shotgun does get called or turns taken, both DH and I will sit in the back. Sometimes I call rank if my knees are painful and I want to stretch my legs but otherwise no issues. If we go out for the night I'm happy to have a few glasses of wine and then sit in the back on the journey home.

Certainly if I was picking DH up from the station and had a DC with me then he would just jump in the back, even if I was driving 'his' car.

DC sit in the back, parents get to choose. As for shotgun that is for DC not adults

Depends on the couple of wines really. Tipsy/drunk person goes in the back. Otherwise adults in the front.

Me in the front seat, always. The projectile vomiting if I have to sit in the back seat for more than five minutes is just not worth it.

Debina how strange that you've never met my SIL yet you have her completely sussed
Interesting comments, thanks ladies. I felt pretty pissed off tbh but didn't kick off having been the one having
It won't be happening again. teenager refusing back seat, not me not drinking!!

Does it really matter?

I'm with soul - who gives a toss where you sit in the car. As for the people saying I'm sitting in the front, you all sound like a bunch of 5yr olds shouting I'm sitting in the front...

Adults in the front children (of any age) in the back. If there are any other adults I tend to get in the back because I am smaller than most.

Front seats are for me and DH. Occasionally I am super generous and allow ds1 to sit there, as he's taller than me.

I once had a woman call shotgun in a car when we were all returning from a night out. I always sit in the passenger seat in this particular car, as I am always the last to be dropped off (the driver's rule! ). I ignored her, believing her to be joking, but she was most upset. I told her I was neither American nor a teenager and therefore didn't subscribe to shotgun 'rules'. (In my defence, I was ill and a little bit tipsy, so perhaps a bit bolshier than I would normally have been).

I'm feeling the need to do a little armchair psychology - does your DD try to undermine your position as "alpha female" in your family in other ways too? Does your DH always take her side over yours? Is she Daddy's special little princess who always gets what she wants from Daddy? Just thinking it might be a powerplay from her to put you in your place...

Ha ha ...my kids move really quick if collecting an adult! No complaints! I have sat in the back when kids were little but not any more.

What does shotgun mean?

American term, I think - means you're the one sitting next to the driver with the shotgun to shoot anything that might be threatening to you both.

In my family, it would be me simply because I can't get into the back seat as easily. I have to sit my bum down and then lift both legs in together. I can't raise my right leg off the floor when standing.

As a parent, I would overrule the shotgun and sit in the front, cause that's my adult superpower, being the boss.

If it were kids and one adult, I would uphold the shotgun.

Thanks ThumbWitches. I've never heard that expression before.

Isn't shotgun because on stage coaches the driver had the reigns for horses so the passenger had the shot gun for protection?

I've never heard the term shotgun either, and I have teenage DDs.

If a DD and I collect DH from work/airport/wherever she sits in the front until we pick him up and then hops in the back. Same for if DH picks me up. There has never been an argument about it, it just always happens.

the person who is most liekly to vomit goes in the front.

apart from that whoever owns the car gets a say.

The rule here is kids always get bumped to the back when adults are being driven.

My pre teens have started calling shotgun, it only works when they are arguing with each other.

I normally only go in the back if BIL is visiting - he is v. tall so he needs the space.

'shotgun' is a playground thing and those who have graduated from the playground are not bound by it. (I used to work with 18 year olds and made it clear that I was NOT playing).

the grown-ups get to choose. Suck it up, kid.

If for any reason, a DC was collected first, by another adult, I'd just then hop on the back, unless it was a long trip. But not if everyone was getting in first, in which case the car owner (me) would get first choice.

The same goes for lots of things. If I pay I choose: food, home decoration, room, restaurant, holidays and so on.