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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking this woman was an arse about me being late?

84 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 11/04/2015 23:17

Night out with a friend tonight for her birthday. Another friend of hers (I've only met her once) messaged me earlier to ask if I was driving and if so would I mind picking her up on my way. No problem, only about a 5 minute detour so no biggie. I told her I'd pick her up at 7.45 as we're meeting at 8. When I got close to where she lives there were roadworks with temporary traffic lights which I sat at for few minutes and had to go a slightly longer route as one of the roads was closed. I arrived to pick her up at 7.49pm exactly to be greeted with a 'you're late, I was always told it was bad manners to be late'. I was taken aback and said nothing because I wasn't sure if she was joking. Got to restaurant at just before 8 (in the same town) and she made a massive show to everyone 'sorry we're late, Wilbur didn't turn up on time' to which everyone pointed out that actually we weren't late etc etc. At every fucking opportunity tonight she made some catty comment about 'tardiness' and 'manners' etc whilst shaking her head at me. I told her i was going home because she was being an utter arse and apologised to our mutual friend that I was leaving early. Other woman called after me 'but how will I get home now?' WIBU to tell her that I didn't give a rat's arse? Incidentally I am NEVER normally late.

OP posts:
Bowlersarm · 12/04/2015 09:27

Yanbu, she's an arse.

Has anyone suggested - could she be jealous of your relationship with your mutual friend and trying to score points off you?

Shodan · 12/04/2015 09:31

She was an arsey arse of the arsiest sort.

And well done for maintaining your dignity in the face of overwhelming arsiness. (I'm sure there was a Prize for that at school).

muminhants · 12/04/2015 10:25

I wouldn't call or text ahead if I were only going to be 4 minutes late. If I were waiting for someone, I would notice if they didn't arrive bang on time, but I wouldn't start wondering where they were for at least 5-10 minutes. Unless it was a taxi to the airport, but my local taxi company make a point of being about 5 minutes early so you don't panic.

I'm usually early to people's houses anyway, which some people would find even worse as they're probably not ready!

And at the risk of stating the obvious, using a mobile when driving is illegal. If you pull over to make the call/send the text you'll be even later.

daughterofliz · 12/04/2015 11:24

I have a lovely friend who is often 5-10 minutes late. I wouldn't dream of having a go at her - these things happen. In her case it's caused by the unpredictability of getting a large family organised. Traffic delays are also a perfectly valid excuse and yes, it would have been helpful if she'd told you about the roadworks. (If she needed a lift I suppose it's possible she doesn't drive herself and so might not have registered that they would cause a delay, but still, no reason to be rude to you.)

I have a feeling she might have thought she was being humorous but didn't realise how rude she came across. You did the right thing calling her on it and not giving her a lift back. The fact that your friend whose birthday it was seems to agree with you confirms that the problem is with the rude woman, not you!

popalot · 12/04/2015 11:50

Ungrateful and rude. She should have been all 'thanks for the lift - sorry about the roadworks'. Weirdo who needs to be avoided at all costs.

birdling · 12/04/2015 12:07

Wow! 4 minutes is nothing! That's quite easily your watch being 2 minutes slow and her watch being 2 minutes fast. Maybe her clock is totally wrong...

She was unbelievably rude.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 12/04/2015 12:11

People would call for 4 minutes?!?! But it would take 3 - 4 minutes to pull over and send the bloody text. So then you'd be twice as late. And as Op has to go through FB it would take even longer. So then she'd be 10 minutes late and they would have been late to the restaurant.

4 minutes is nothing.

redskybynight · 12/04/2015 12:13

Trying to be charitable here .... did the other lady get her times confused - so for example she thought the party was at 7.30 and you were picking her up at 7.15?? Or was OP the one who got the times mixed up? Because otherwise going made over 4 minutes is totally bonkers!

Nanny0gg · 12/04/2015 12:18

Did she offer to share petrol costs?

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