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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking this woman was an arse about me being late?

84 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 11/04/2015 23:17

Night out with a friend tonight for her birthday. Another friend of hers (I've only met her once) messaged me earlier to ask if I was driving and if so would I mind picking her up on my way. No problem, only about a 5 minute detour so no biggie. I told her I'd pick her up at 7.45 as we're meeting at 8. When I got close to where she lives there were roadworks with temporary traffic lights which I sat at for few minutes and had to go a slightly longer route as one of the roads was closed. I arrived to pick her up at 7.49pm exactly to be greeted with a 'you're late, I was always told it was bad manners to be late'. I was taken aback and said nothing because I wasn't sure if she was joking. Got to restaurant at just before 8 (in the same town) and she made a massive show to everyone 'sorry we're late, Wilbur didn't turn up on time' to which everyone pointed out that actually we weren't late etc etc. At every fucking opportunity tonight she made some catty comment about 'tardiness' and 'manners' etc whilst shaking her head at me. I told her i was going home because she was being an utter arse and apologised to our mutual friend that I was leaving early. Other woman called after me 'but how will I get home now?' WIBU to tell her that I didn't give a rat's arse? Incidentally I am NEVER normally late.

OP posts:
magoria · 11/04/2015 23:40

4 minutes isn't late! That is only 2 sets of red lights delaying you!

She was an arse well done on calling her out

irishamy89 · 11/04/2015 23:40

YANBU, how rude. I'm glad you left the ungrateful so and so stranded!
She is obviously a sad individual if her mission on the night was to point out your lateness when there wasn't any lateness to discuss!

RebootYourEngine · 11/04/2015 23:40

You were 4 minutes late picking her up but got to the restaurant early but she thought it was acceptable to go about it all night. You were right, she is an arse. How did your friend take it that you left? I would arrange to meet just the two of you as an apology.

ChaiseLounger · 11/04/2015 23:41

How rude

IamTheWhoreofBabylon · 11/04/2015 23:42

bloody hell how ungrateful she was
YANBU

PeppermintCrayon · 11/04/2015 23:42

If you called it would slow you down and you'd be later...

technobabble · 11/04/2015 23:42

4 mins late? Sheesh some people are so uptight.

daffsandtulips · 11/04/2015 23:43

Did you say there were roadworks etc. ? if you did and she just kept ranting on then YANBU.

MammaTJ · 11/04/2015 23:44

There were the absolute correct amount of arses in your OP! Just the one, pointed out a few times!

That would have got a less polite reaction from me and I am the time lady person in charge of punctuality!

ICantFindAFreeNickName · 11/04/2015 23:45

If I'm leaving late or traffic is really really bad, I might text whoever is expecting me, but FOUR minutes late - I would not bother pulling over to text about that.

daffsandtulips · 11/04/2015 23:47

Did you explain when you got there? I would have apologised and explained about the road works etc.

unlucky83 · 11/04/2015 23:52

I agree - I would have to stop to phone someone -which would make me even later...so for 4 mins I wouldn't call/text...
(Memories of being held up by workmen and going to be 5-10 mins late for school pick up - I tried to phone, then text 3 or 4 different parents to get DC for me but for various reasons (phone in car, at home, dropped down toilet etc) no-one answered so I had to do the embarrassing phone call to the school - who then didn't pick up for ages... If I had just gone I would have been there by the time it took me to tell them I was going to be late ...)

Amy106 · 11/04/2015 23:53

YANBU but she was really rude and very ungrateful.

Silverdaisy · 12/04/2015 00:00

Ynbu to be irritated by her comments, but perhaps a bit over sensitive to leave early. Unless it was an easy excuse to leave. Did you finish the meal?

WilburIsSomePig · 12/04/2015 00:46

Loving all your arses!

I didn't call as I don't know her well enough to have her number. She messaged me on Facebook but didn't want to sit in traffic with my phone on Facebook trying to message her to tell her I may be minutes late. It would have taken me longer to.type the bloody message. It was FOUR minutes. I did feel bad when I got home and texted my friend apologising and she responded with a lovely 'please don't worry, I have no idea why I invited her, remind me not to next time. Lunch tomorrow?' All good there thank goodness.

OP posts:
DianeLockhart · 12/04/2015 01:03

You weren't even late in my book! Surely 5 min leeway is understood esp when you're doing her a favour, what a strange lady.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 12/04/2015 01:08

YANBU at all, she is a complete and utter arse!

Even if she had anxiety issues, she surely wouldn't have banged on and on about your "lateness" and manners etc. throughout the meal - that isn't the work of an anxious person, that's the behaviour of an arse.

Glad your friend has seen through her and is seeing you tomorrow sans arse-woman!

VanitasVanitatum · 12/04/2015 01:08

daffs you're being ridiculous. OP was 4 minutes behind the scheduled time. She would have to pull off the road to call or text even if she had the number, then she would have been twice as 'late'.

She was doing this awful woman a favour, in return the woman behaved unforgivably rudely. OP YANBU at all!!

BitOutOfPractice · 12/04/2015 01:09

Wilbur YANBU, this arse woman was.

Glad you and your friend are OK about it

SabrinnaOfDystopia · 12/04/2015 01:19

OP yanbu -very rude as a) you weren't late for the meal, b) you were doing her a favour, c) it's just rude to speak to someone like that,-what is she, some sort of Lady Bracknell character?

Daffs, I wouldn't call if I was 4 mins late. You are having fun on the boards tonight aren't you?

SolasEile · 12/04/2015 01:38

She wasn't German by any chance, was she? Different cultural attitudes could make a 4 minute delay a bigger deal... Grin #clutchingatstraws

Boutonneux · 12/04/2015 01:52

Daffs you are being utterly ridiculous.

4 minutes isn't late and the OP was doing the ungrateful cow a favour FFS.

MidniteScribbler · 12/04/2015 01:54

I'm obsessive about being punctual, but even I wouldn't consider 4 minutes to be late.

Throwing another 'arse' in because it's an appropriate use of the word.

AuntieDee · 12/04/2015 01:55

It would have been polite of her to let you know there were roadworks... What an arse!

giraffesCantBunnyHop · 12/04/2015 04:58

enjoy lunch