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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking this woman was an arse about me being late?

84 replies

WilburIsSomePig · 11/04/2015 23:17

Night out with a friend tonight for her birthday. Another friend of hers (I've only met her once) messaged me earlier to ask if I was driving and if so would I mind picking her up on my way. No problem, only about a 5 minute detour so no biggie. I told her I'd pick her up at 7.45 as we're meeting at 8. When I got close to where she lives there were roadworks with temporary traffic lights which I sat at for few minutes and had to go a slightly longer route as one of the roads was closed. I arrived to pick her up at 7.49pm exactly to be greeted with a 'you're late, I was always told it was bad manners to be late'. I was taken aback and said nothing because I wasn't sure if she was joking. Got to restaurant at just before 8 (in the same town) and she made a massive show to everyone 'sorry we're late, Wilbur didn't turn up on time' to which everyone pointed out that actually we weren't late etc etc. At every fucking opportunity tonight she made some catty comment about 'tardiness' and 'manners' etc whilst shaking her head at me. I told her i was going home because she was being an utter arse and apologised to our mutual friend that I was leaving early. Other woman called after me 'but how will I get home now?' WIBU to tell her that I didn't give a rat's arse? Incidentally I am NEVER normally late.

OP posts:
FeijoaSundae · 12/04/2015 05:05

What odd behavior. Seriously weird. Someone who routinely behaves like that simply cannot have any friends, or ever be invited anywhere.

Does she have form for this? Why are people still engaging with her? Confused

FishWithABicycle · 12/04/2015 05:09

4 minutes is nothing. No one sane expects anyone to be able to predict the exact time taken for any car journey to perfect accuracy. Asking for a lift via facebook message from someone you don't know well enough to have each other's phone numbers is cheeky. If the free taxi service then falls short of perfection it's massively rude and entitled to even mention it once, let alone go on about it. Glad your friend understood OP. Defriend the rude cow on fb and put this all behind you.

MiscellaneousAssortment · 12/04/2015 05:27

Arse!!! (Her)

pinningwobble · 12/04/2015 05:39

I can't believe there are people on this thread saying you should have called to notify her. It. Was. Four. Minutes.

tobysmum77 · 12/04/2015 07:35

yanbu op. Not much more to say really. I can't believe she said 'how will I get home'? Was she 6?

AliceLidl · 12/04/2015 07:48

So she thinks it's okay to comment on your manners. But she is the person whose manners were awful right from the start.

You don't know her all that well, but she still felt able to ask you for a favour completely out of the blue.

She then greeted you with bitchy comments about being late and how rude that is.

Made a big deal about lateness when you arrived at the restaurant early, to embarrass you in front of everyone else.

Made pointed comments about you and shook her head at you at various points throughout the night.

Bullied you into feeling you had to leave early.

And then whined because you weren't giving her a lift home.

I don't think you need to worry about meeting her standards for good manners. She has none. And at least your friend knows what she's like and doesn't blame you for walking out. It's a shame nobody else stuck up for you on the night and told her she was being an arse.

kent43 · 12/04/2015 07:52

Yanbu. 4 minutes isn't really late. Did you mention road works when you arrived although you shouldn't have to. Bet she doesn't even drive.

BrianButterfield · 12/04/2015 08:36

I'm really punctual and I would stress if I were 4 minutes late...but not if someone else was! And I'd never mention it. That's a normal traffic margin and the fact you got there on time anyway shows that.

chocolatelife · 12/04/2015 08:39

i am just so glad you left her there,
the arse deserved it!
enjoy your lunch

ThatBloodyWoman · 12/04/2015 08:42

I'd have done the same as you Wilbur
Good on yer -she was being completely unreasonable and nasty and didn't deserve you acting as her chauffeur.

AlternativeTentacles · 12/04/2015 08:45

I would also have left her there but I'd have done it at the end of the night, rather than cut short the evening. She is a complete arse. Or she is on the spectrum. Who knows...

ivykaty44 · 12/04/2015 08:45

Did you at any time apologise for being late? You were late and tbh if you were late picking me up then I would be concerned, that you may not be coming. You were late and in the wrong, you may not normally be late but I wouldn't know that..

Floggingmolly · 12/04/2015 08:51

She was 4 minutes "late", ivy... Confused
That's not late at all in the real world.

pinningwobble · 12/04/2015 08:52

Ivykaty are you serious? 4 minutes? That doesn't even register as an amount of time to me. Yes it's rude to not say you're going to be late but for four minutes?! Plus this horrible woman kept going on about it throughout the evening when they weren't even late to the event itself. Plus op was doing her a favour by picking her up in the first place!!

momtothree · 12/04/2015 08:52

So some one does u a favour is in the wrong .... hope u dont ask for favours!!!

AlternativeTentacles · 12/04/2015 08:54

You were late and tbh if you were late picking me up then I would be concerned

You should be grateful that the person is giving you a lift, particularly when it hasn't been offered in the first place. FFS.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 12/04/2015 08:55

4 minutes? 4 minutes? that isn't late, anyone saying otherwise is bonkers.

Ha, I bet her face was a picture when you left Grin.

ThatBloodyWoman · 12/04/2015 08:55

If she had to get a taxi,she'd have to wait till one was available -then it might still be late.
Tbh from word go,I'd be biting my lip with her.
If I was on an off day,she might even not have got a lift there!

tallwivglasses · 12/04/2015 08:56

OP please update us after lunch. I'm far too interested in what was said after you left.

I also rather hope this arse-woman is a mumsnetter Wink

ThatBloodyWoman · 12/04/2015 08:56

Did she offer you petrol money?

RebootYourEngine · 12/04/2015 09:08

Ivy - I would also be concerned if someone who was meant to be picking me up was late but after 15/20 minutes not 4.

kent43 · 12/04/2015 09:12

You should have said that it's bad manners to ask someone you hardly know for a lift.

GooodMythicalMorning · 12/04/2015 09:18

Id have been extremely grateful for any lift, wouldn't have even thought about the extra four mins. She sounds like s right miser.

neighbourhoodwitch · 12/04/2015 09:20

omfg what an arse she is!!!!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 12/04/2015 09:24

How was she going to get home???, she asked. Well perhaps she should have given that some thought before she humiliated you and ruined your evening.
Perhaps she's learnt a valuable lesson that she can't just speak to people any way she sees fit!!!
I'm glad you walked out but I don't think it's fair that you missed out on what could hVe been. Good night out. You may be like me though. In the mind set of you're need to walk awY before you say too much. Mind you she would have deserved a mouthful.

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