Too many presents - AIBU?

[UnderpantsLoveAliens]

DS's birthday party is coming up. I stupidly decided to have a class party, plus external friends and family, as there are a few new kids in the class who, on account of having started rather late in the school year, have not been invited to any so far (although this is the last time I plan to throw a party this large!)

So, my problem is the subject of presents. DS already has a Wii, XBox360, iPad, PS3 and laptop, with several games to go with each one. Our house is filled with toys that he still regularly plays with. He has more than enough clothing (thinks a full wardrobe's worth). I am having mini-panic attacks at the thought of him being bought even more stuff. Where the hell are we going to fit it all?! I am trying my best to clear out things and make space, but with little success - he really does play with the toys that we haven't cleared out already.

I really wanted to put on his invitation that no presents were necessary, but this did not work a couple of years ago and people still bought him gifts (most of which were replicas of stuff he already had or stuff he showed no interest in once we took it back home - like I said, he already has lots of toys built from infancy that he is happy with). We have donated the majority of these to charity but at more time and expense to us (collating them and hiring a car/taxi to take to the nearest charity shop when I can find the time).

As much as I appreciate the generous gestures, I am sick and tired of having my house filled to the brim with things that I will need to either find non-existent storage for, sort through, give away etc, and I am dreading the similar aftermath of this year's party.

DS has said, year after year, that he doesn't want or need presents and just wants to see his friends. I have tried to hint to those that have RSVPed that no gifts are necessary, but they are all insisting that they bring something (despite many of them having been to our house before and knowing that we have no more space to put anything!!) It is getting to the point that I just want to cancel the party, but I can't do that to DS.

So, WWYD? Suck it up again for one more year? I know that people are just trying to be nice, but it seems ridiculous when all it's causing me is stress and sleepless nights.

Is everyone you know really rich? It sounds like he gets really big, expensive gifts. Can't you just walk them to a charity shop when you have the time?

Many charity shops will collect. What's the issue ?

How old is your ds out of interest?

And that

Thanks to all the troll hunters. I have been a member of Mumsnet for several years (usual stories regarding brown pouffes, swearing parrots, WWIFN etc - even though the more recent sorties of penis beakers etc flew over my head!) but I namechange as I prefer to be anonymous if possible, especially as I've posted highly personal stuff in the past on a number of boards. I'm guessing that I can't be the only one who does this - but if you prefer to label me a troll, that's your choice.

Anyway, just get the guests to chip in and buy you a bigger house

Probs solved babes xx

well, it's quite straightforward, isn't. Donate the unwanted presents to a charity shop. Is that really such a troublesome concept?

Yes move out of the pokey house and buy one with more storage....

Job done

You could ask for the whole class to put donations toward something educational...like a desk, or a Kindle...

I don't understand why you can't just donate them. If a charity shop won't collect and you can't get them there without a taxi then think of it as a party expense.

A woman's refuge will come and collect from you, just give them a call.

OP, I get you. Our DC have too much stuff too, and are in need of nothing.
We are lucky that our school recommended a 5 euro party policy, and this policy has really taken off to such an extent that I can't remember when my DCs last had an invite which was not a 5 euro party.
If you write 5 euro party on the invite, most invitees will give a card with 5 euro, some good friends will probably give presents or a greater sum of money.

Perhaps you could mention on your invite that no present isy required, but if that doesn't suit, a fiver in a card would be appreciated?

Ask for donations to NSPCC (they have a campaign called something like every childhood worth fighting for) or Save the children, they have a campaign called No child born to die.

www.nspcc.org.uk/

www.savethechildren.org.uk/get-involved/campaigns

Then take a deep breath and be thankful.

See I have 3 DS's and if I had this problem, I would just put them up for adoption.

Quick, easy, no mess, no fuss.

But maybe that's just me?

I don't understand why you are so worried about it that you are considering cancelling the party just to avoid all the presents.

You have told people you don't want any presents so some people might not bring any. Just donate them.

When I emigrated I donated a lot of things to a woman's refuge through the local doctors.

I work long hours (think mangement consultant-type role) and also travel for work every couple of weeks. So you can imagine that, when I'm at home, I prefer to spend time with DS.

And yes, I could probably hire someone to do it for me, but I'm trying to be careful with money (class parties notwithstanding - I just remember being the child who started late at school(s) when friendship groups were already formed or being out of the country during school holidays when classmates would organise meetups, and it was no fun).

The irony is that the class party itself isn't costing too much money (charitable community centre (at least, what we are paying to hire it goes towards a good cause, and we donate regularly to them (they unfortunately don't need toys though!)), nibbles and squash, and cake to take home, with a small bouncy castle hired from a friend of a friend at a reduced rate being the second biggest expense).

Yes, a few people I know are what you would describe as well-off. DS also has very generous grandparents, aunts and uncles. Our immediate families have taken the hint and no longer buy him presents for his birthday/Xmas but sometimes give him money to put in his account or save towards something if he'd prefer (extended family on the other hand ...)

I think I'm just overworked and tired at the moment, so it's probably making me overthink it. I just wish people would be happy to attend a party just for the sake of it and not bring any gifts if asked. Where I am from, that is seen as perfectly fine (and you would be considered rude to disregard a specific request that didn't cost you anything/even saved you money).

And thanks for the suggestion, MsAsprey - I will look into the nearest women's refuge.

I had asked for a charitable donation last year (to a charity of their choice and/or one we named - precisely after reading a thread on here where someone was told it was rude to specify a charity that people may not want to donate to), and yet, people still brought gifts. I was even told by a few mothers that I was being cruel to my DS for asking for no gifts - this from people who had been to my home in the past and remarked on how many toys he had ... Now that I simply didn't get!

If I could, I'd ask for a token donation of £1 or less (but I've also been told not to ask for money as that's also considered rude )

And WorraLiberty, we've communicated on here in the past on threads (I won't say what it regarded - again, because it would out me) and I'm surprised that you of all people would troll hunt me, when you've called people out for being mean/doing it to others in the past.

But then this is also partly why I started namechanging - we are all just names on a screen really. Why should anyone care if there's a real person with real feelings behind that name?

Thanks for those who've given me proper advice on this. I think I just needed to thrash it out in writing/on a screen to gain some perspective. I'm sure I'll figure something out.

Yep. Suck it up, buttercup. Suck it up.