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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to lose my temper with this mum at a school play?

103 replies

CaspianSea · 10/04/2015 19:10

I accompanied friend to her DD's Easter play at primary school. Think jam-packed hall with rows of plastic seats and no leg-room. I'm tall so my knees were touching seat in front. We were near the back. Woman in front of me (young mum also with female friend) kept jumping up and clapping throughout performance (nobody else did this, she seemed overexcited every time her DC came on stage though I thought the loud behaviour a bit vulgar and annoying). She also draped her puffa-jacket over chair so it was on my knees though I didn't mind this. What I minded was every time she flung herself back into chair, her chair rammed painfully into my knees! I couldn't move my chair back as mum behind had child on lap. I whispered 'ouch that hurts' a couple of times then 'please be careful with your chair' but she just glared over shoulder at me, so after the 5th knee-slam I immediately jabbed her in the small of her back with my knee (through the gap in chair). She turned round and glared and I whispered 'please stop banging your chair into my legs'. 5 mins later she did it again so again I kneed her in the back again (hard enough to make her jump). She leapt up and started shouting abuse in my face in middle of performance Shock Lots of swear words and 'stop kicking me you stupid bitch' etc. I replied 'fuck off and sit down' (not proud of myself for swearing but I was caught off gaurd). She then threatened to 'punch your fucking head in' and I told her to sit down and stop slamming chair into my legs, and her friend then grabbed her, forced her back into seat and the children burst into song so peace was temporarily restored. She didn't stand up again but kept scowling at me.
My friend says she is a bitchy mum nobody likes and not to worry about it. But I feel I also behaved badly.

AIBU to think I was justified to react? How would you have handled this?

OP posts:
PeachyPants · 10/04/2015 19:13

Chewing Gum in her hair!

5madthings · 10/04/2015 19:15

Wow, and this was at a school performance. At any school I know you both would have been told to leave.

ragged · 10/04/2015 19:15

Bit of light entertainment the pair of you.

HicDraconis · 10/04/2015 19:15

Pull the chair back as she's sitting down (or tip it slightly) so she falls on the floor? Probably not enough room though.

gamerchick · 10/04/2015 19:16

Have a hand ready to grab hair the next time she jumped up?

I think I would have just moved because my temper would show me up just the way you did Grin

MissDemelzaCarne · 10/04/2015 19:16

You should both have been thrown out.

Justusemyname · 10/04/2015 19:17

"My friend says she is a bitchy mum nobody likes and not to worry about it. But I feel I also behaved badly."

So behaving as badly as someone no one likes is okay?

IHateStampysVoice · 10/04/2015 19:17

How utterly uncouth.

My only regret is that I wasnt there myself to silently judge and whoop in glee and disgust.

Perfectlypurple · 10/04/2015 19:17

I think you both behaves badly. The poor kids.

MrsCakesPrecognitionisSwitched · 10/04/2015 19:17

I bet your friend was mortified.

Sparklingbrook · 10/04/2015 19:17

I hope it wasn't recorded on the sound while the school were recording it for the £££ DVD.

I bet the teachers were a bit Shock

pressanykeytobegin · 10/04/2015 19:18

You both sound as disgraceful as each other.

Nanny0gg · 10/04/2015 19:19

Well, at least you'll never have to sit through another play at that school...

ilovesooty · 10/04/2015 19:19

Poor children rehearsing for weeks just to have that kind of fish wife behaviour from both of you.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 10/04/2015 19:19

Handbags at the school play, I bet the Head was giving you both the death stare!

Those Mothers!

Salmotrutta · 10/04/2015 19:20

You'd both have had your marching orders at any school I've worked in!

And I've taught in a couple of fairly "challenging" ones (secondary but the principle is the same).

Pretty awful behaviour from both of you tbh at a school performance.

Bair · 10/04/2015 19:21

Both as bad as each other.

Imagine, all the kids sitting nicely on their best behaviour and two mums act like that.

Sparklingbrook · 10/04/2015 19:21

I would think the texts flying between all the other parents afterwards were quite plentiful.

8 years I spent with DC at First School and I never got to see anything like that. Sad

MrsCakesPrecognitionisSwitched · 10/04/2015 19:22

TBH I think that sort of behaviour is usually only acceptable among ogres, golems and other fairytale villians.

fairyfuckwings · 10/04/2015 19:23

What she did was very annoying but an accident.

What you did was deliberately assault her.

ShatnersBassoon · 10/04/2015 19:23

You should have braced her chair in place with your feet.

Is an Easter play a re-enactment of the crucifixion?

monkeysaymoo · 10/04/2015 19:24

Oh dear i can be feisty but swearing at a school play not cool OP not cool.

Personally I would have picked my nose and wiped it on her puffa coat

Andrewofgg · 10/04/2015 19:24

I wish my DS's school plays had been like this.

TheWhiteRoad · 10/04/2015 19:24

You sound disgraceful. And had you behaved like that at my DCs school you would have been asked to leave.

I wonder what the kids on stage thought of the pair of you?

CPtart · 10/04/2015 19:24

When was this? It's half term.

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