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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to lose my temper with this mum at a school play?

103 replies

CaspianSea · 10/04/2015 19:10

I accompanied friend to her DD's Easter play at primary school. Think jam-packed hall with rows of plastic seats and no leg-room. I'm tall so my knees were touching seat in front. We were near the back. Woman in front of me (young mum also with female friend) kept jumping up and clapping throughout performance (nobody else did this, she seemed overexcited every time her DC came on stage though I thought the loud behaviour a bit vulgar and annoying). She also draped her puffa-jacket over chair so it was on my knees though I didn't mind this. What I minded was every time she flung herself back into chair, her chair rammed painfully into my knees! I couldn't move my chair back as mum behind had child on lap. I whispered 'ouch that hurts' a couple of times then 'please be careful with your chair' but she just glared over shoulder at me, so after the 5th knee-slam I immediately jabbed her in the small of her back with my knee (through the gap in chair). She turned round and glared and I whispered 'please stop banging your chair into my legs'. 5 mins later she did it again so again I kneed her in the back again (hard enough to make her jump). She leapt up and started shouting abuse in my face in middle of performance Shock Lots of swear words and 'stop kicking me you stupid bitch' etc. I replied 'fuck off and sit down' (not proud of myself for swearing but I was caught off gaurd). She then threatened to 'punch your fucking head in' and I told her to sit down and stop slamming chair into my legs, and her friend then grabbed her, forced her back into seat and the children burst into song so peace was temporarily restored. She didn't stand up again but kept scowling at me.
My friend says she is a bitchy mum nobody likes and not to worry about it. But I feel I also behaved badly.

AIBU to think I was justified to react? How would you have handled this?

OP posts:
YawnyMcYawn · 12/04/2015 23:09

MrsCakes I love you Grin

Babymamamama · 12/04/2015 23:12

Maybe the the room was a bit jam packed if other parents (like your friend) had brought people who weren't parents to watch the play? I would have thought you would usually be a parent/carer to go to a school play. Otherwise it could certainly get over crowded no?

derxa · 13/04/2015 07:50

Maybe you should take up writing plays. You certainly have a lively imagination.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/04/2015 07:55

Oh bloody hell I've just realised you're the same OP worrying about inviting a badly behaved boy to your 'magical camping garden party' in case he ruins it.

And you're worried about him kicking off! Grin

MrsCampbellBlack · 13/04/2015 07:56

It is so strange, almost as though the OP has 2 distinct personalities.

BuggerLumpsAnnoyed · 13/04/2015 07:58

That's fantastic awful and you should be ashamed

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/04/2015 07:59

I know MrsCB, it's bizarre Wink

Christinayangstwistedsister · 13/04/2015 08:00

How awkward have you made this for your friend? She is the one with DD at the school

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 13/04/2015 08:10

Who would go to a play at another kid's school? Why would you do that?

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/04/2015 08:23

I've just been told on another thread that OP has admitted that this thread is a wind up.

ForeverChasingToddlers · 13/04/2015 08:24

These comments have made my morning

ESPECIALLY someone telling OP to put bogey on her jacket

"fuck off and sit down" Grin

Sounds like the average 3.15pm pickup in my old inner city london working class playground when I was little. Minus the mum who'd offer sex to the dads for £50

Obviously we are grown up proud amazing mummies who never swear (god forbid in front of the cherubs) or engage with people slamming their chairs into our cramped feet. We are perfect examples of perfectness. Thank you very much. Mary Poppins who?

Arsenic · 13/04/2015 08:29

Which thread SanDiego?

(seems quite the fashion)

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/04/2015 08:32

*To ask friend not to bring her DS to our family-friendly garden party

^ this one @ 8.13 am.

Lausarama · 13/04/2015 08:35

Is this for real? Can't imagine grown women behaving like this. You both sound unreasonable and embarrassing. Hth.

RuthAaaghhh · 13/04/2015 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop · 13/04/2015 08:50

Has Op been bk to this thread or just the garden party one....

Bettercallsaul1 · 13/04/2015 09:01

Always distrust threads that use the word "vulgar" in the OP! (key word alert)

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 13/04/2015 10:27

Well if this thread is a wind up. There's a good chance get other threAd is a wind up. If that's ths case. You really need to get out more,op

Sparklingbrook · 13/04/2015 10:31

I always become a bit Hmm at needless information. like the fact it was a 'puffa' jacket.

FeijoaSundae · 13/04/2015 10:36

You were really hurling swear words at each other, at a school play? Really?

People don't behave like that outside of a Jeremy Kyle studio.

BeggingYourPardon · 13/04/2015 10:47

I would have sat there with a Cats Bum mouth and possibly wiped a juicy bogey on her Puffa Jacket... but only after sending a Snapchat of said jacket to my mates with the tagline 'I didn't realise we were still in the 90's'. Snort.

DH on the other hand is grumpy, Scottish and short. The combination of those escalates his rage to such levels he would have decked her flat out.

redexpat · 13/04/2015 11:06

If someone kept hurting me after I'd repeatedly asked them not to I'm sure I would have a few choice words to say. But on MN everyone behaves impeccably at all times Hmm

CaspianSea · 13/04/2015 12:26

'I've just been told on another thread that OP has admitted that this thread is a wind up'

No, I've actually just denied that rumour on other thread, didn't realise this one was still active. I wish this incident was a joke but unfortunately it happened and I'm still cringing over it Blush
I admit I behaved really badly and it was totally inappropriate to swear in a school-play. My only 'excuse' is that the chair slamming into my knees repeatedly was painful and I reacted out of character to try and stop it. It was also very hot and claustrophobic. I couldn't get up and move without causing a disturbance (clambering over laps etc) and there were ppl standing at back.
My friend says we were too far away from stage for kids or teachers to hear, it was just other parents. She said her DD didn't realise anything had happened. Which doesn't excuse what I did but does make me feel slightly better!

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 13/04/2015 12:50

I immediately jabbed her in the small of her back with my knee (through the gap in chair). She turned round and glared and I whispered 'please stop banging your chair into my legs'. 5 mins later she did it again so again I kneed her in the back again

I replied 'fuck off and sit down'

Six of one, half a dozen of the other although you do appear to have a short fuse Caspian

LiegeAndLief · 13/04/2015 13:27

Never mind the fight, what in God's name possessed you to go to the primary school play of a child who was not your own? Surely people only sit through these things if they absolutely have to by dint of being related to a performer?